October bandster I have a surgery date of Oct 12 at TLBC in Toronto. I start my three week pre-op today. I am actually excited about starting it (if you can imagine lol) just because it's one step closer to me becoming the person I KNOW I CAN BE.
I have struggled with my weight for many years and have lost hundreds of pounds only to gain them back. Losing weight is generally not a problem it's keeping it off that I just can't seem to do. I started dieting after my first child, I think I was 160 after I had him, then lost it only to gain it back plus more... and so the story goes same old same old....now here I sit at 335 with a BMI of 56 because of all the dieting I've done.
This has been a very emotion journey just coming to this decision to get the band. When I first heard about it I wouldn't even consider it because I thought it would be a cop out, the easy way... I felt like a failure just thinking about it. But with the many stories I have read and the few people I have connected with I started realizing that this is no cop out or magic wand that it is a tool, one of many I will need to be successful. Not to mention all the support I have read about on this forum. I started feeling there was hope for me and that I could do this. I have a new attitude and am saying "I think I can I think I can, I know I can I know I can...."
I know this is the first day of the rest of my life and for the first time in a long time I am looking forward to it. I am not naive ... I know there are many struggles ahead of me, I hope I can count on some support like I have seen here, thats the one thing I can say through all my dieting is that I've never had someone in my corner cheering me on. And boy do I need that. There is not much self esteem left here in this body...and I am my own worst enemy. So please when I need a kick in the pants please feel free to do it (lovingly).
Well I must go and enjoy my 6oz of yogurt, the first of many. Thanks to all who post regularly and share their struggles and successes. I hope this to be the first of many... Signed NOT SO HOPELESS ANY MORE!
__________________ Hope
TLBC Oct 12/07 :canada:
345-highest/335.5-pre-op/313.5-surgery/ 260-current/145goal -  |