how do handle unsupportive people?

want_so_bad · 04-14-2008, 12:51 PM

yesterday we had a 4-h meeting. my sil who had the tummy tuck was there as well. after each of these meeting we have an assortment of cookies and juices and fruits for everyone to enjoy. my niece brought some oreo's over for my sil. she offered me one, i declined. my sil started giving me a super hard time about not eating cookies anymore. she was licking it and oohhhing and aahhing, just being dumb! but she would not let up. on and on, waving the cookie in my face, saying how great they tasted.

so, knowing that i weigh less then her, like by 20lbs now (insert me doing a little "go me" dance), i come back w/ "guess how much i weighed this morning?" enough said. didnt ask her how much she weighs or anything. just left it at that. to which she of course started in about me weighing myself and bla bla bla.... made me feel better just throwing that out there. how bad is that? but i felt better, and i walked the 2 miles home! made me feel even better!

how do you guys handle people like that? oh, and she doesnt know i had this surgery! as far as she knows, i am just making better healthier choices for MY life! which i am, but why does that bother her so?

losingjusme · 04-14-2008, 01:04 PM

i usually just completely ignore stupid, ignorant people.

what she did was beyond childish. i just get up and leave.

salsa1877 · 04-14-2008, 03:11 PM

I just tell them that if I want to choose to live a healthy lifestyle and eat foods that are just as good as the crap that they are eating that it is my business. I had one person that kept giving me crap and I just said, well we will see who is happy about that damn piece of cake when I am at your funeral. Kind of harsh, but this woman (my dad's wife) has gained about 45-50 pounds since I was banded and has decided that who cares how you feel and what you eat as long as you are happy eating it. Let's not mention that she has pancreatic disease and is putting herself at risk. So basically I just don't let myself be around them, or I put them in their place. I have become very blunt after getting this surgery. I didn't do it for anyone else. If your SIL wants to act like a 2 year old...treat her like one!

want_so_bad · 04-14-2008, 03:38 PM

she gives me such a hard time about my weight loss efforts on such a regular basis that most times i just tune her out. it got to me yesterday because other people were standing around and could hear. people that i will be dealing with on a pretty regular basis with 4-h. it was just kind of embarassing. i so badly wanted to sink to her level and say some very rude comment about how much less i weigh then her AFTER the tummy tuck and that cookie prolly wasnt very good for her newly required belly. but i refrained. i sure used my frustration to bust butt on that walk home though! and i thought to myself, i am walking 2 miles home and i didnt eat a cookie (or 5) and you drove the 2 houses down you had to go and ate cookies! hmm, my revenge will be sweet! lol.

salsa1877 · 04-14-2008, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by want_so_bad

she gives me such a hard time about my weight loss efforts on such a regular basis that most times i just tune her out. it got to me yesterday because other people were standing around and could hear. people that i will be dealing with on a pretty regular basis with 4-h. it was just kind of embarassing. i so badly wanted to sink to her level and say some very rude comment about how much less i weigh then her AFTER the tummy tuck and that cookie prolly wasnt very good for her newly required belly. but i refrained. i sure used my frustration to bust butt on that walk home though! and i thought to myself, i am walking 2 miles home and i didnt eat a cookie (or 5) and you drove the 2 houses down you had to go and ate cookies! hmm, my revenge will be sweet! lol.

You got it! I was only really mean to my dad's wife because I CAN'T STAND her. But I digress. Revenge truly will be sweet. Besides most of the people that could hear her, probably thought she was the idiot!

snowbird · 04-14-2008, 07:41 PM

There's nothing you can say to someone like your SIL that is not going to bring you down to her level. A pointed stare and silence, however, should be pretty effective. A pointed stare at her butt might be even more effective. I'm sure everyone thought that she was the one who should be embarrassed, not you.

hatmama · 04-24-2008, 12:43 PM

you did good! When people say catty things or try to be a smart aleck waving junk food around, I have a couple of replies I give. I will look at them with a mildly astonished look on my face and say, "and this concerns you how?" Thats one of my favorite. Sometimes, after they have spoken I will let a second or so go by and then say, ...and? Nothing else. That one works good too. Hang in there, your revenge will, indeed, be sweet. :)Laura

Griz Girl · 04-29-2008, 10:48 PM

It sounds to me like this woman may be suffering from some jealousy! They say that misery loves company---she apparently wants you to join her in hers! If you break down and stuff your face with cookies, she won't have to feel bad about eating them and she won't feel guilty for not focusing on losing weight herself. You don't even need revenge--just keep kicking butt. I feel sorry for her--if you can, too, she won't get to you so much.