Confession of an emotional eater/food addict

trapped inside · 04-18-2008, 09:01 PM

I only have mild restriction but if I eat the wrong food or eat too quickly, I get stuck. I have noticed quite a few times that I can be walking around with this terribly uncomfortable feeling of being stuck and I'm thinking about what I can eat next. What?! Am I insane?! I'm stuck because I'm engaging in some bad habit (such as soft bread or rice, eating too fast, eating after I am full) and I can't wait to eat the next fattening, artery clogging, sloth making mouthful. Before the band, I didn't really think that I was an emotional eater. Going through the process of approval made me consider certain things. The psych doctor asked me if I hid my eating. No, of coarse not. Then I realized that I wait til my husband leaves before I have that bowl of ice cream etc. I noticed that if I questioned myself about if I should eat something that sometimes I would hurry up and eat it as if I was afraid I would talk myself out of it. When I got mad I would eat. When I don't want to think, I eat. Its harder to think about uncomfortable things when you are shoving food into your mouth. I have a lot of uncomfortable things to think about. Things from the past that don't matter to anyone but sure hold me back. Insecure feelngs of not being good enough. Now I just lost my job and my daughter won't let me see my newborn grandson because of some stupid insignificant fight we had. I thought about going to see a counselor to share some of this but I know that I will cry and then I will feel ashamed and weak for crying. It aint easy being green. I was beginning to have some pride about my exercise efforts since my LAP-BAND^®. Now I realize this huge area I need to work on that is probably more important than exercise. I know this probably seems indulgent to be taking up space but I thought there might be other people out there who haven't admitted to themselves that theres more of a problem than eating too much and exercising too little.

**Jack** · 04-18-2008, 10:06 PM

re: "Am I insane?!"

I'd wager most Bandsters have all felt like that at some point.

re: "other people out there who haven't admitted to themselves that theres more of a problem than eating too much and exercising too little."

If you get a chance go back in the archives and search out some of these key words. Lots of folks have learned to deal with emotional issues without overeating. Me for one.

And yes, it is easy to feel insane or like an idiot. Yet there is another choice.

"If we are not for ourselves....who will be;
If we are only for ourselves....what are we;
If not now.....when?"

So you have a choice. "Insane" is to continue doing what you've alway done and NOT expecting to get what you've always gotten...

so CHANGE a few actions, yes?

Now that you've got a better look at your actions....what's next?

Many Bandsters are refugees standing on the Plains of Desolation.

Like the Pioneers we have escaped at great effort the old madness of our old lives.

Every day we have the choice of which direction to walk.

Away from the insanity and denial and self persecution;

Toward the great warmth of our hopes.... into the Light of our Future.

Each step brings us closer to our rewards and our goal.

Along the way, we discard the clanking geegaws of a cluttered past, like the cast iron stoves tossed from the wagons on the Oregon Trail.

You have a dream. Feed THAT and there will be no hunger in your belly.

trapped inside · 04-19-2008, 10:35 AM

Awsome, Jack. Thank you.