I have not been doing well lately. I have not lost weight in a few months :( A large part of the problem is that I need a big fill. I haven't had time to even make a freakin apointment. Lately, I have been running myself ragged. Upon reflection, this is not the healthiest strategy for long term success in any number of fields. But it is so difficult for me, sometimes, to know exactly where that balance lies.
So I'm really hungry all the time and eating a ton of food. I'm freaking starving compared to good fill level. And its so hard to eat well when I have my stomach yelling "Feed Me" all the time and I'm tired because I'm trying to do too much. I'm also in grad school full time. I was doing an intense course load. I got my masters in August and now I'm working on a certificate of advanced study and teaching certificate. (I'm a librarian). And part of this includes about ten hours a week in a high school library as a practicum, plus I had a three month temp assignment as a admin assistant where I was working around 15 hours a week.
But one of my seminars turned out to be too theoretical for me so that gives me some breathing room. My temp assignment ends next week, which is not happy because that means I just have to spend that time on trying to find another part time job. In the current economy that is so not easy, as I am sure everyone is aware. I haven't been to the gym since August.
I'm going to purchase a recumbent trike. Those cost a lot of money but I have been researching them quite a bit and I think it is a reasonable purchase. I live five miles from campus and so this would be a good way to get there, and the recumbent trikes are good for people with balance issues (I have never been able to decently ride regular bikes due to that because of neurological stuff) and I also have a bad hip that means a regular upright wouldn't be a good idea, but the recuments are gentler on the joints.
In the meanwhile I do feel frazzled. I am a bridesmaid in a wedding in about a month and I had a really hard time finding a decent dress. I found one that should work, finally.
And I have taken to wearing shapewear all the time. More and more of it. I like the svelt belt by nancy ganz at least and spanz is my favorite. I recently found some stuff that is also supposed to work for upper arms. Has anyone tried the stuff from flabuless
Flabuless I ordered the smallest version to try and I also ordered some stuff from Slimpressions
Slimpressions: Shapewear to slim the arms, back & midriff. Put the 'top' back in 'control top'!
I am hoping it works.
One of the hardest things for me is this loose skin. I have a good fifty pounds to lose yet (I have lost about 70) and oh its so bad! My arms are terrible-- I can instantly gross out my sisters in laws or anyone really just by rolling up the sleeves. And my stomach!! And arms and the stomach already sometimes get rashes, but mild ones. I hate to think what it will all be like after i loose the rest of the weight as I already have to roll up the boobs to get them ina bra and everythign is so loose, the thighs, bum, etc.
Sometimes I get a bit down and wonder if I will ever lose the rest of the weight. THen I remember that I just need to get with the program-- I need a fill, need to eat right, exercise, and the weight will come off. Of course I need to actually get the fill. I also need to see dermatologist I think, about my acne.
Ever since I got my gallbladder out, six weeks after the band went in, my skin has just gotten worse and worse. I used to have combination skin that wasn't really problematic. I never had an acne problem and flair ups were controlled pretty easily. But since then I have had skin that just gets so greasy. I was alwasy very prone to milia and that really increased. I have one cholestrol deposit above my eye now-- my blood cholestrol is fine. My pores are huge and I get lots of acne. So I seem to have oily skin or something. Benzoyle peroxide helps, and retin A helps but I think I might need a stronger prescription of the Retin A or something. I dunno, I ran out of what I had and haven't had time to get more. The skin routine I was using since I was 18 stopped working after the gallbladder came out and it threw me for a loop. Microderm abrasion helps, but not enough. oh well, at least that is my only side effect.
she wears usually a 12 sometimes a 10.. i dont fit the 10s but i will soon enough..... im trying to be optimistic
11/12/2007 4th FILL
12/28/2007:paranoid
Linear Mode
