just one week has passed and i am ready to give up!

officegirlblues · 03-20-2005, 10:43 PM

Hi, all. I'm new here and I'm just reading your threads to get acquainted. First off, I guess really don't have a right to reply to this as I don't know what you are going through. I haven't been banded yet.... BUT! I'm sitting here reading everything you've written and realizing that when I finally do have the surgery, I will probably go through the same thing. I know it sounds crazy, but you can not imagine how envious I am of you right now! I want this surgery so badly... because as hard as it is for you right now, I feel like it's just as hard for me to be where I am. I'm so sick of being embarassed of going in public and I'm so sick of eating and feeling guilty for putting food in my mouth. I'm sick of sitting down after I eat and seeing my stomach poke out and thinking how what I ate is just going to make it poke out even further!

So, all I can say to you is Good Luck and I hope the depression passes quickly for you. You have such a wonderful opportunity ahead of you and when you doubt that, just remember all the reasons you had for doing it. Also, I want to thank all of you for posting things like this. I don't personally know anyone with the band and "meeting" all of you and hearing the ups and downs you experience after surgery is such a help. I know the surgery isn't going to be a magic cure for me, but knowing what I'm up against, being so well informed because people like you share your experiences, will help to better prepare me. So thank you and know that we are all rooting for you!

Hope

the best me · 03-20-2005, 11:12 PM

Aw Hope, let me just ditto everything you just said, I feel exactly the same way!!!

New Hope · 03-20-2005, 11:22 PM

Hope, you have the right to respond to any post that you'd like! We're all here to support, encourage, and share with each other. I would suggest that you go to the introductions and start a new thread about yourself. You can share whatever you feel comfortable with. You'll get more responses that way. I noticed that you'd asked earlier about self-pay options and about a couple of different drs. Best of luck to you on your journey for better health!

jqpublic · 03-20-2005, 11:28 PM

Hang in there Girl!... Im not banded but I' feel your pain. Just wait afew week's

when you can eat good, then imagine a month or so the weight will be falling off and people are going to walk up to you and say " your "looking good.people say your face seems slimmer wow. it will be all worth it... god luck God bless!hang in there.

**Jack** · 03-20-2005, 11:28 PM

...'does the journey of a thousand miles begin when thinking of the journey....or placing the foot upon the path?'.....

you have your foot on the path....and the destination requires you keep you feet moving on the path...

each day is easier and easier....and for me suddenly went from "what have I DONE!!!" to "YIPEE!....let's get on with it.."

stick to the diet your surgeon outlined...stay away from solids no matter how much you think you want them....

even 3 months out I find only disappointment with burger meat...you ain't missing anything....start looking at your health food store for the precious liquids and wonderful choices of broths, the breathtaking array of soups you probably never suspected existed, and rejoice in knowing you are moving toward your goal instead of just dreaming about it....

"NOTHING tastes as good as being thin FEELS"....

and don't leave out the 2L of water EVERY DAY....it makes a ton of difference....

ecbailey · 03-21-2005, 12:00 AM

Hope, I am having surg. on 3/23/2005. I have been to several sites but have found this one to be the most helpful. Where do you live? I suggest going to the state forum and post there. Even if you are the first post...someone will reply and you can make a connection with someone in your area. Kathy, who responded to this thread, and I "met" in the SC forum; it's just the two of us and you are welcome to post there; we are both newbies...she is having her surg. 4/8/2005. Good Luck, Eliza

lapbander081004 · 03-21-2005, 12:18 AM

Pink,

Welcome to our world.

Everyday is still a struggle but with the Band I have the help I need.

Prior to being banded I knew it wasn't going to be a magic trick. I still have to put a tremendious effort into my journey. The band was just a tool to help.

I also knew that there would be no "Food" for several weeks before and after the surgery. I also decided that for the two weeks prior I would know if I could handle the liquid part. Wasn't banded and could walk away at anyting and continue my journey to an early grave...or I could keep thru it and be on my other journey to a healthier life. I choose this route to go. So everytime I got depressed I just took some time out to reflect and review in my head what I did and the reason for it. This has never changed...I just have to bring myslef back into focus. For me it has worked.

After the liquid part of the diet was over and I was able to re intrduce solids in my life I found with the exception of a few items I can eat anything. And my buddy, the tool, helps me to remember when I am pushing the envelope on over eating.

What your going thru is normal....just hang in it gets better...much better. Soon you will feel normal again and you will see the benifits of the band.

Good luck and God Bless

Infaith · 03-22-2005, 11:13 PM

Pink, I was banded December 21st so here I was sitting at Christmas dinner with all my family eating prime rib. I was tired from surgery and felt sorry for myself because I was eating a few tablespoons of broth even though I knew beforehand that's exactly what would happen. It will pass. We do mourn our loss of eating like there is no tomorrow. It does get better. You will be eating soon and food will taste so much better! Hope you're feeling better soon!

the best me · 03-22-2005, 11:16 PM

Hey Pink, you out there? Check in and let us know how you are doing/feeling. We need an update, girl!

SHAZ · 03-23-2005, 12:36 AM

Pink, It looks like you are exchanging one depression for another depression. Between the two, I would definitely choose being depressed after the band as I know things are gonna GET BETTER as in (loosing weight and cheering up). When I experienced the other depression, it was one that I knew would never get better - only worse. Believe us when we say everything is going to be good!!!!

Tarafeena · 03-23-2005, 06:30 PM

A bit pink..... Please know that you are not alone.. I was feeling just like you and mentioned it to my DH and he said "babe, band or no band any diet is hard, it's not just because you have the band." that seemed to help me because it is so true,before you know it you will be eating normal foods..I am 4 weeks out and just went snow skiing and ate with everyone, I just ate alot less!!! Hang in there and remember that you are not alone and You can do this!!!! Good luck to you...

Eileenja · 03-28-2005, 08:15 AM

Don't get all depressed - remember you did this for yourself!!! It is not very often that we do things for ourselves - so when we do we should enjoy them. You are the one who matters. You should try to hang in there - it will get better! I consider that I did this to save my life as I am sure you did. I know that most of the people who are having this surgery are on the young side, - I am 50 years old! I have seen many ups and downs in my life and so far this is not one of them.

I had my surgery 5 days ago and i am still on water - ONE OUNCE EVERY 20 MINUTES. Yesterday I did feel hungry when my DH was cooking bacon! But what i did was eat a sugar free ice pop and amazingly that took care of it. It did the same thing with Easter Dinner.

I hope to see you posting here in a happier mode very soon.

Nykee · 03-29-2005, 04:14 AM

You all are so amazing at support and advice. How nice we have this place!!

I felt a power and control and kind of elation from not being able to eat much.
When I was banded, I was ranting and raving about how I didnt care about food one bit and I was defying reality and it really didnt make sense to me that I didnt care about the impossibility of eating much more than some juice and milk and tomatoe soup and poscicles... BUT it was absolutely astonishing and I was a happy camper!

Well it went away and now I am a PIG again. I feel like crud again. I feel like a loser and well.................

I NEED A FILL. I want restriction. NO PAIN NO GAIN!

Bring it on! (pretty please)

I wanna feel that power and control of when I first came home and was restricted so much that the moment I went too far.. I KNEW IT and I stopped... I knew I would have a PB or vomit and feel real pain if I did .....

I never get that feeling now, well I do.. I eat less... I drink WAY less..
BUt its not Amazing and Its not making me feel in control either.

My lust for control NOT to eat ... overpowers my craving to eat...
Do you understand that?? LOL

As you see.. I have issues.. and I HATE FOOD.

I think I eat too much to punish my self.. and then not being able to eat much at all, Feeels like a punishment and so I am still happy..

I dunno

Scotty · 04-11-2005, 03:59 PM

If things aren't tasting right, or nothing seems to be appetising, it may be that you're deficient in various minerals, notably zinc. Try crushing a multivitamin into your smoothy or something. I much prefer savouries to sweets and milky things too. I had a ball with soups in the liquid stage. I wasn't so keen on the mushy stage but it soon passed.

There are aspects to the emotional path we are on which remind me of the stages of grief. I think most of us go through the denial, depression, anger and acceptance but not necessarily in that order! But there is another stage I have found, which is relief mixed with contentment that I have managed to take control of the only part of my life that felt really out of control. It's still a rollercoaster though!

Kendra · 04-13-2005, 09:29 PM

Im right here with you. Im barely a week post op..and I already mourned the loss of food. It really is something that you need to do. Think of this..how long it took you to get that band. How much money/time you put into it. How you felt being overweight before getting it? Is that really and honestly worth a few extra meals? Just give it time. You will adjust to it. Its hell for now..I know.

Also..MILKSHAKES?? Wow.. honestly I was told to avoid the high fat easy to down foods like milkshakes. If you drink a ton of fattening foods, it really nulls the purpose of the band doesnt it?

I was told I can add soups..I added soup..and then if I can tolerate it potatoes. I thought maybe this was a mistake, but If I water them down mashed tatoes work for me. remember EAT SLOW! Yogurt works for me to. I honestly just do what I can..otherwise I cant stick with it.

Hang in there. You will be happy you did!