I'm not sure I get the source of your frustration, so if this doesn't help, let me know.
Any good you buy other than fresh produce & some meats has nutritional information on it, right? (I think, anyway) Including serving amount, calories, carbohydrates, fat, etc. The produce information can be easily found online.
So just add up whatever you're putting into your meal. E.g. you're making a stirfry. Your bag of stirfry veggies says 1/2C is a serving. The values are listed per serving, so you know the calroies in your veggies. Same with sauce & meat. Or if you cook the whole thing, just add up the total calories, and estimte (fairly) how much of it you're taking. So if you make a big wok of stirfry and you know the total calories in it is 1000, and you take 1/5 of it, you know you have roughly 200 calories.
There is a stickied list of food values in the Food forum that may help.
Also see this post (linking rather than retyping):
http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/prote...31/#post594400
You can also plug all your foods into an online calculator (e.g. fitday) but I personally prefer to just do the math. I can add it up in my head as I go a lot faster than I can get online, pull up the site, search for foods or enter values, etc. Though I do love fitday's long-term weightloss grid.