Trouble telling my therapist

jbflorida · 04-06-2008, 10:22 AM

Please remember that therapists are first--human. They have their own "stuff" too. A good therapist can separate her/his stuff from yours. Allow your therapist to take responsibility for her reactions. If she is supportive, great. If she is not, oh well. This is your life. Your health.

I had a friend that went to a therapist because her boyfriend would not commit and get married. (not me, I would have tossed him out on his tush!) The therapist encouraged her to wait it out... and she did...17 years! My friend finally told him goodbye; he married someone within 6 months. My friend was 39, couldn't have children now--and starting all over again. TURNS OUT, the therapist was waiting for HER boyfriend to commit. She told my friend to wait to VALIDATE what she was doing!

Sorry--off the subject. What do you expect--I'm old and feeble.....

Lattedah · 04-06-2008, 10:31 AM

Hi, Penny. Well, you certainly came to the right place for support, LBT has some of the most genuinely supportive people I've ever met in my life! :biggrin2:

Penny, I also have seen a therapist for the last few years and we have developed a professional friendship. While I went to see her initially for grief counseling, depression and anxiety, my weight was also always part of the conversation. When I decided to have the LAP-BAND^® surgery, I found I was anxious about telling her (she does not have a weight problem). It took me several visits before I finally iniated the conversation with her (which, as several folks here recommended, came up because of my health concerns). As I told her I started justifying my decision to her and I was also afraid she would try to talk me out of it -- not that she asked me to justify the decision. I soon realized that I was making this decision "real" by telling this person who so intimately knew me. The justification was like having an objective conversation with myself to ensure this decision was truly the right decision for me and to face my own doubts. By the end of the conversation (with myself

), I was truly sure about the decision. She has been right behind me all the way and extremely supportive.

Good luck to you and I hope all goes well!

mstrina27 · 04-10-2008, 08:54 AM

just wanted an update...

TulipStar · 04-10-2008, 09:55 AM

IF she is a good therapist she would never try to talk you out of it. She would listen and talk to you about your reaons for doing it but should never judge you.

Tell her. Good luck!

Dito · 04-10-2008, 11:08 AM

As someone who's been a therapy patient for... jeeze, that many years? - here's my take.

A good, professional therapist has to manage "clinical detachment" and not get overly involved in their patient's emotions. I think the inverse is true for patients as well.

I'm fully aware that therapists are people with feelings, but from my side of the couch, it's still a professional "I'm paying you" relationship.

Penny, I too, admire your compassion. But remember: your therapist isn't really your best friend - she just plays the role once or twice a week. It sounds like the two of you have an excellent doctor-patient bond, and that's only going to help in the long run.

Trust your therapist to be a professional. Whatever feelings she has, she should known enough to keep them to herself. She's there to help you with a difficult issue, not burden you with her own.

I love the guy I see. But I can't recommend him to everyone, because as I affectionately put it, he's as nuts as the rest of us. :)

Hang in there - it'll be fine.

Blund · 04-10-2008, 11:17 AM

My therapist "graduated" me at the end of several months of therapy during the end of my 1st marriage. Its a positive term to use.

gisellehuet · 04-10-2008, 11:52 AM

PennyLane,

I understand your concerns, but your therapist is there for you and your issues whatever they may be. In addition she can help you later, after the band, when you feel anxious or overwhelmed about the food. I have a therapist as well, and I am almost a month post-op, I can tell you that I have been upset, and I want to go to my old habits: overeating.. My therapist is helping me with that aspect so that I can truly change my life around and take advantage of the band. Don't be afraid... Just do it...
We are all here for you

PennyLane · 04-10-2008, 03:28 PM

Thanks for all your help, guys. Unfortunately I don't have an update as of right now because I somehow slept through my alarm and didn't make it to my appointment today! Next week, though.