Old Friends, New Friends, No Friends

Thread Starter  

I'm going to start by saying I'm a pretty private person outside my close knit of girlfriends/husband. I find myself on this website more often and with yet some hesitation I feel somewhat comfortable to "speak out loud" here - clear my head some then maybe be done with it.
I was not always heavy, when I got married 7 years ago I was 120lbs - and life was GREAT! My husband and I were very successful *DINKs* (dual income no kids), we were extremely social - more so than most, entertainly weekly / monthly etc. I'm a "non practicing chef" (had high tech job -then) but as a trained cook, I cooked for friends and family nightly. I enjoyed it ... still do. 3yrs ago life threw my husband and I a curve ball both personally & professionally. Life sucked, but as many here can attest, food DID NOT. We both packed on the lbs, with too much food & drink..and in the process we discovered who was and was not our friends. Tough pill to swallow, I'm the type to do things for others with no expectation of a return of a favor, we had a major blow to who would turn their back on us... SO, we made a discision to pack it all up and bought a ranch an hr away from the city to clear our heads and get back on track.
My husband and I decided LAP-BAND^® was for us & had the surgery 2 months ago together., I figured we got fat together lets get back skinny together. He's my rock & best friend! We have told No One about our surgery, his choice orignally... now mine. So the holidays are coming up and the invites for cocktail parties & such are flooding in. I don't want to go to a single one of them (husband is indifferent - could care less...but also travels for work, good excuse). I don't want to see a single person till my fat A$$ is back being a size 4/6. Friends have told me the comments made about my husband and self about how "FAT" we had gotten..blah,blah,blah. I have learned some tuff lessons the last 3 yrs & if I have 2 friends VS an army of social butterflies who say they are , I am fine with that.
I'm not sure where to take this rant - and it is one. I appreciate the opportunity to blab it here, cause I can't do it anywhere else.
I might be one of the few people to be glad to have gotten fat, cause I've learned humilty, and what it's like to be humbled. LAP-BAND^®, is going to teach me to be a "better / kinder" skinny bitch in the future, ...
Lulu

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Banded 10.12.07
Start - 200lbs, Size 16
Current - 5'1 123lbs size 6
5k's: 10.4/11.1

Hi Lulu,

Thanks for sharing your struggles... I was fat, then thin (HOT & SINGLE), and then after keeping it off for 6 years, got fat again...

My real friends have loved me fat or thin and are supporting me on the road to being thin again... I do know the type of people you are describing & generally find them to be too self involved to ever be a good friend to anyone.....

My advice (feel free not to take it, as each of us has our own happiness & truth); but, my unsolicited advice is to try to make some meaningful friends ones that you could be yourself with and call in your darkest moment. It isn't easy and usually takes time & a lot of effort, but if you become the type of friend you want in a friend you will be succesful over time.

Good luck, my advice is to stay away from critical unsupporting environments during the holidays which can be challenging on their own...

Tiffany

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Tiffany
Banded: 12/13/07
by Dr. Johnson with Atlanta Bariatrics
Fill#1 01-23-08 - 2 cc
Fill#2 02-20-08 - .75 cc Total = 2.75 cc in a 10 cc band.

We are on a similar path. I used to be thin, popular, pretty, all of that. So I know what that feels like. I also feel the humility that comes along with being fat. Not many thin people really want to get to know you to become friends with you. I have one really, really good friend, and I could count on one hand my other friends. I know lots of people, just wouldn't count them as friends, someone I tell my deepest, darkest secrets to. Some people aren't happy unless they have a whole bunch of friends, but I'm happy with what I have. At least they're genuine. When I'm thin I plan on being a better/kinder skinny bitch - a bitch to all the other skinnies who are mean to the fatties!

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:peace:

Thread Starter  

Thanks you two for responding - I had more of a "rant" in mind rather than a out right thread creation. I've not seen too much on this site of those who had been thin all their life - got fluffy - and are working back to the thin world, Granted I've only been on this site a little over a month. I just had a "one of those days", felt blue - some hurt feelings came my way, and what better place to express that blue'ness. I do have a group of Yaya's, as we put it, that are extremely close, however I did not tell them about having the LAP-BAND^®, out of respect for my husband who wanted me to keep quiet about the process. He still see's a weakness in going the surgery route, me I don't care what route it took for both of us to get healthy & fit.
I KNOW this "Trip" is life changing in not just the physical form, I really mean that - I'm somewhat shamed at possible actions/behaviors I may have displayed in the past...and I hope that I can be a better person irregardless of the size of my ass.
Thanks for reading - I totally felt better after a stiff walk.
Take Care,
Lu

__________________
Banded 10.12.07
Start - 200lbs, Size 16
Current - 5'1 123lbs size 6
5k's: 10.4/11.1

I was thin--borderline skinny for many, many years. Following the horrors of an abusive marriage, I began seeking solace in something that did not hurt---physically---food. I kept that friendship with food for many years.
I have a small group of friends who have always been there, all but one of my original group of friends has been supportive---I did tell about the surgery. She has pulled away from all of us, not just me---so not sure if it is related even.

I do understand where you are coming from, when I was skinny--and 116-120 pounds at 5'9" with the way I am built, I looked too thin most people said, but that was my natural weight, I maintained it for years without concern or effort. I would seriously imagine in that time, I was not always nice, to overweight people. I am ashamed of that! But I too learned the lesson of humility, and how to properly treat others, regardless of size.

Great thought provoking rant!
Kat

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5'9" ***70" lost*** Dr.Aceves--Mexicali Bariatrics

LAP-BAND^® surgery 04-24-06 TT 05-20-08

PROUD Shrinkin' Violet