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01-23-2007, 07:48 AM
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#1 | | Shiloh Thread Starter  
Join Date: Jan 2007 Age: 64
Posts: 970
City: Commack State: New York | A Jewish Parrot! A Jewish Parrot
Three Jewish sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Torah and you know she can't see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to the second son, "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude."
She wrote to the third son, "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
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01-24-2007, 03:56 AM
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#2 | | Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 606
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How precious!! Chicken? For goodness sakes. That was one expensive dinner!
__________________ Forgivness heals our past, protects the present and blesses our future. |
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01-24-2007, 10:26 AM
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#3 | | Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 59
Posts: 4,099
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Hahaha. I love this joke.:) I have heard it before.
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01-24-2007, 03:08 PM
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#4 | | Shiloh Thread Starter  
Join Date: Jan 2007 Age: 64
Posts: 970
City: Commack State: New York |
I am glad I could spread a little joy!! God bless!
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01-26-2007, 09:55 AM
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#5 | | Banded: 9/02 327, Now 232
Join Date: Jun 2006 Age: 63
Posts: 2,406
| A Christian Parrot
Three Christian sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Bible and you know she can't see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty ministers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, "Martin, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to the second son, "Mitchel, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude."
She wrote to the third son, "Dearest Michael, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
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01-26-2007, 10:01 AM
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#6 | | Banded: 9/02 327, Now 232
Join Date: Jun 2006 Age: 63
Posts: 2,406
| A Muslim Parrot
Three Muslim sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Holy Qur'an and you know she can't see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Holy Qur'an. It took twenty Imams 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the Surah and verse and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, "Omar, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to the second son, "Hussein, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude."
She wrote to the third son, "Dearest Mohammed, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
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01-26-2007, 11:10 AM
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#7 | | Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 59
Posts: 4,099
| a Jewish joke
A Jewish guy who has lead a very bad life - he has denied the faith of his fathers, been unfaithful to his wife, and cheated his partners - is killed in a head-on collision while driving one day. To his surprise he wakes up in the most beautiful environment he has ever seen. Eventually he gets around to asking where he is.
"Why, you are in Hell," is the reply.
Death continues to be a pleasure for him and one day while on his rambles he notices a mountain in the distance and decides to hike there for a closer look.
When he gets to the top he sees that it is in fact a volcano and looking in he see the most horrifying sight. He sees men and women being burnt and tortured by devilish looking creatures. Terrified, he runs away.
Many hours later he describes that chamber of horrors and asks, what was that?!?
"Oh! That's Hell for the Christians. They seem to prefer it that way."
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01-26-2007, 12:00 PM
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#8 | | Banded: 9/02 327, Now 232
Join Date: Jun 2006 Age: 63
Posts: 2,406
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Green: Unlike the Parrot joke, your joke required the person to be Jewish.
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01-26-2007, 12:11 PM
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#9 | | Moderator / Admin
Join Date: Jul 2003 Age: 46
Posts: 6,996
City: Morris County State: NJ |
Thanks for your reiterations of the joke, TOM. I was thinking the same thing but was too lazy to make the observation.
It's a funny joke, but the Judaism (of the parrot? of the family?) is irrelevant. I don't get it.
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01-26-2007, 12:57 PM
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#10 | | Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 59
Posts: 4,099
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Tired_Old_Man Green: Unlike the Parrot joke, your joke required the person to be Jewish. | Oy! *shrugs* I know, I know. I just really like the joke is all....
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01-29-2007, 07:01 PM
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#11 | | Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2006 Age: 40
Posts: 350
| Quote:
Originally Posted by green A Jewish guy who has lead a very bad life - he has denied the faith of his fathers, been unfaithful to his wife, and cheated his partners - is killed in a head-on collision while driving one day. To his surprise he wakes up in the most beautiful environment he has ever seen. Eventually he gets around to asking where he is.
"Why, you are in Hell," is the reply.
Death continues to be a pleasure for him and one day while on his rambles he notices a mountain in the distance and decides to hike there for a closer look.
When he gets to the top he sees that it is in fact a volcano and looking in he see the most horrifying sight. He sees men and women being burnt and tortured by devilish looking creatures. Terrified, he runs away.
Many hours later he describes that chamber of horrors and asks, what was that?!?
"Oh! That's Hell for the Christians. They seem to prefer it that way." |
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA I love it I ask my husband this all the time about the Christians...
__________________ Sue :bandit Surgery 9/1/06- 229 pounds Current 157 Goal 145 Dr. de la Garza, Monterrey, MX 1.7cc Omnipack in 4cc band 3 fills total!! Exercise has kept me right where I want to be!! |
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