Application help!

anonemouse · 01-07-2008, 07:30 PM

Hey guys, I need some help writing a cover letter for one of my job applications. It's for a position as a zoo keeper. Any pointers that y'all can give me would be greatly appreciated! I'm having the most trouble finishing up the letter.

Here's what I've got so far (I'm stuck on the "In closing" paragraph):

Quote:

Dear Sir or Madam:

I read the announcement for the Animals of the Night keeper position on the [zoo name] website. I am currently finishing my thesis for my Master of Science in Biology degree from [my university] (to be received in 2008) and have started searching for full time employment. I’ve been impressed with the [zoo name] whenever I’ve visited, so I’ve attempted to stay abreast of any job openings.

My resume shows that I have several years of experience in education (both classroom-based and informal). I have taken several classes in both my undergraduate and graduate coursework in which I was expected to handle and/or collect live specimens for graded projects (e.g., a live specimen collection in a herpetology class). I have also carried out fieldwork for my thesis, during which I trapped and handled live birds.

I am confident that I could fully perform the requirements of the position I am applying for. As I was virtually raised at my father’s veterinary clinic, assisting whenever needed, I am very familiar and experienced with the requirements of animal care. I am also extremely passionate about all animals and have extensive experience with interacting with the public. Through my classroom and employment experiences, I have a great deal of familiarity with both public presentations and writing.

In closing,

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Me

Hilary · 01-07-2008, 09:59 PM

Lauren, I normally just write a short paragraph inviting the prospective employer to find out more about me through an interview. Something like:
I look forward to having the opportunity/I welcome the opportunity to further discuss my suitability for this role/position at an interview and look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

anonemouse · 01-07-2008, 10:40 PM

Thanks! :)

**Wheetsin** · 01-07-2008, 11:38 PM

Laurend, when I write cover letters, I use them as my first impression. I try to show, in a very quick way, how I can meet their needs.

After years of hiring people and seeing all kinds of resumes, I *ahem* borrowed this approach from a candidate because it's what I found that impressed me the most.

I just helped hubby update his resume, here's how we did it using this:

Quote:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in reference to the <job title> position that is posted on the <company> website (req #). In addition to my attached resume, I would like to provide a brief overview of my ability to match your specific needs based on the position’s competencies.

Your requirements include:

· 5+ years of experience in recent Linux versions
· Experience with programming in Perl, PHP, SQL
[...]

I bring:

· 10+ years’ experience with Linux (multiple flavors including SuSE, RedHat, Fedora) and other proprietary UNIX versions (SunOS/Solaris, AIX).
· 5+ years’ experience in developing in a LAMP environment (both PERL and PHP) to include designing, developing and implementing database back-ends and front-end delivery systems.
[...]

I would welcome the opportunity to speak with your further, and look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

<name>

it could be coincidence, but I've used this format for 6 resumes, and have gotten 6 job offers from them. We'll see how hubby does, he had his interview today, so the resume already did its work. :)

Fanny Adams · 01-07-2008, 11:44 PM

I have to agree with Wheetsin. I've seen applications from both sides of the employer/employee situation and have always found that the most success comes when you can specifically address the points they have advertised for by demonstrating how you reach that criteria.

That's a good application letter, but it is a little general - you will get better mileage out of focussing directly on the key features they have asked for.

anonemouse · 01-07-2008, 11:58 PM

Thanks, guys!

kity · 01-08-2008, 12:02 AM

Laurend~Good luck! I totally agree with the model Whestin posted. My doctoral degree is in organizational leadership. You want to make yourself POP off the page. Taking the "guess work" out for them and obviously identifying how you exceed their expectations will be an asset to you. Again...good luck! Keep us posted.

DonHoll1 · 01-08-2008, 12:10 AM

Good luck. Hope you get the job. I agree with Whestin about the cover letter. Direct and to the point. Donna

transformer · 01-08-2008, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hilary

Lauren, I normally just write a short paragraph inviting the prospective employer to find out more about me through an interview. Something like:
I look forward to having the opportunity/I welcome the opportunity to further discuss my suitability for this role/position at an interview and look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

I agree--I usually write something like "I'm looking forward to meeting with you to discuss my qualifications at your earliest convenience."

Good luck! :clap2: