second thoughts?

nume130 · 09-22-2007, 03:34 PM

I don't know if I am having second thoughts or not but I keep worrying about the surgery. I am on day 2 of my diet and felt yucky today. But I keep thinking "what am I doing?" I am already grieving the loss of eating what I desire. Grieving the loss of favorite foods already. Keep thinking, I am realitively healthy, why mess with that????
I know it is just presurgery jitters, anyone else go through this?

Darragha · 09-22-2007, 04:57 PM

I didn't have a second thought until I was on the table about to go under. Then, for a moment only, I wanted to bolt and get the hell out of there.

I'm glad I stayed now. :)

heidi49 · 09-22-2007, 06:49 PM

I think many of us have those kinds of second (and third, fourth and fifth!) thoughts when we get near to having the surgery. It is a big change in our lives, and even if we welcome it there is still always the fear of the unknown, and also the fear of failing at weight loss yet again. Eating certainly provided me with a lot of emotional comfort and physical satisfaction over the years, and it's not easy giving up a reliable friend like that. However, for me the choice was pretty clear, because my steadily increasing weight was causing the walls of my world to close in more and more i.e. I couldn't walk or move properly anymore, I had more and more joint pain, worsening diabetes, etc.
So while I was afraid that I would really miss and mourn the ability to eat whatever and whenever I wanted, I was even more afraid of ending up a cripple or else prematurely dead.
In reality, I haven't missed the overeating scarcely at all (I can't believe it's me saying that!). The pre-op and post-surgery diet periods do give you the chance to break the cycle of overeating, and to experience some quick initial weight loss which is highly motivating. More importantly, I really don't experience physical hunger with the band, so the desire to overeat is rarely present. I still desire and enjoy eating a wide variety of high quality and interesting foods, but I do not feel compelled to eat huge quantities of anything. In fact, it takes a lot of hours for me to feel like eating again after a meal, because I feel full for a long time. Which is the whole point of the band!!
I am only about a third of a way along with my planned weight-loss journey, but I am already enjoying MANY benefits from those lost pounds, more than I had ever anticipated. I did have second thoughts before the surgery, but with the benefit of hindsight I am extremely glad that I went through with it.

argon · 09-22-2007, 07:38 PM

Totally normal, nume130... don't worry. I personally didn't have any second thoughts.. I was SO ready for it! But I can understand. Everyone else said it way better, so listen to them!

I grieved food for a long time, and I still have moments where I wish I could eat more, faster, longer... that sort of thing, but then I look at how much better my life is now, and check myself out in my first, new, full length mirror, and think "Man, this is so worth it." :) You'll get there too.

peaches9 · 09-23-2007, 10:40 AM

Awh, I know it is a stressful time... Unlike the OP above I didn't start having any 2nd thoughts(regrets) until this past week after my 2nd fill...
I am REALLY getting restriction now (what I wanted right?) but I am finding it a challenge to drink all the water I am supposed to PLUS I have a lot of pills to swallow through out the day and having to stop drinking during/after a meal is a drag....

I was just feeling SORRY for myself and being totally honest here.... I was MISSING PIGGING OUT!!!!

Well, I am down 20 lbs since surge. and 2 fills, and down 60+ overall since I started this "new improved" me lifestyle...

My pity party did not last long and I am again down weight this a.m....

So as of today, this minute... I have NO regrets... and its not that hard.. we just need to re-learn loading forks, eating off smaller plates, chewwing more.. stopping sooner*(that's the EASY PART now)

There is a learning curve, just like in a new job... I learn a bit more about life with the band everyday.

My hubby is so happy with the slimmer me, he says "OH I can get both my arms around you and hug you tighter"... that meant everything to me. He is such a dear.

We had some great friends come for dinner last night, they hadn't seen me in quite a while... the husband couldn't stop complementing me on how good I looked!!! Now he didn't reference my weight, just kept gazing at me ... wow, I love your hair etc. etc... but I know what it was..

My blood pressures have gone from 140/90 (Dr. was wanting to Rx more pills!) down to 127/74

I am excersising at the gym without 'dying' each time...

Many blessings indeed

Sheila Davies · 09-23-2007, 11:12 AM

I never had a second thought, but eveyone is different. I even told my husband that I wanted to take the train to Mississauga instead of him driving me because I felt this is my problem not his. It is almost like drinking in a sense it is us with the problem and nobody else. My parents visited my brother-in-law and he hasn't had a drink in 15 years he is an alcholic. Mom and dad would never drink around him but he finally said "It is my problem not yours" go ahead and have a drink. Just like when I went to visit my sister wanted icecream and she said but I shouldn't it is not fair to you again, I said this time, " It is my problem not yours" enjoy. But I guess I was ready also because I really didn't have any second thoughts besides the money and then all I said was " I am worth it". Take a chance for once in your life. Do it for yourself.

want2beme · 09-23-2007, 11:38 AM

OF COURSE! It's totally natural to have second thoughts. As I was driving over the border, I was thinking, "Am I totally insane! What the F%^* am I doing?" I almost turned around. But, I did it and I'd do it again!

Gaffer · 09-24-2007, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nume130

I don't know if I am having second thoughts or not but I keep worrying about the surgery. I am on day 2 of my diet and felt yucky today. But I keep thinking "what am I doing?" I am already grieving the loss of eating what I desire. Grieving the loss of favorite foods already. Keep thinking, I am realitively healthy, why mess with that????
I know it is just presurgery jitters, anyone else go through this?

This is totally normal. Part of it may also be the effects to the Optifast diet. You will go through a bit of a "withdrawl" when you stop eating all the white flour & sugar that was likely part of your diet before.

The first couple of days of Optifast are the worst, but stick with it. It is so worth it in the end.

Andrew

peaches9 · 09-24-2007, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by want2beme

OF COURSE! It's totally natural to have second thoughts. As I was driving over the border, I was thinking, "Am I totally insane! What the F%^* am I doing?" I almost turned around. But, I did it and I'd do it again!

Just curious, where is this Dr. located did you have Medical Insurance to cover your LB or did you self pay and if so... how much?

nume130 · 09-24-2007, 07:38 PM

Thanks everyone, I find it comes in waves. Often I can turn off the thoughts and then other times, I feel panicky. I am not backing down, no way but oh my, its hard.

Crispy · 09-27-2007, 02:29 PM

I just called the clinic to cancell today. I am scheduled for Oct 19-07. I called back this pm to re-think it again. I need to sit down with the dr. My gut is telling me I can't do this, I should try another diet again. WHAT DO I DO?

Ang1982 · 09-27-2007, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crispy

I just called the clinic to cancell today. I am scheduled for Oct 19-07. I called back this pm to re-think it again. I need to sit down with the dr. My gut is telling me I can't do this, I should try another diet again. WHAT DO I DO?

*hug* Crispy, please don't take this as me "attacking you" or anything just trying to put some perspective into things.. I've not had the band but am trying my hardest to get the finances together to be able to.

"I should try another diet again" - isn't that why you are looking at Lap Band in the first place. I know personally that I've tried the various diets and methods and sure you can stick with it for a while and you do well but eventually... it just stops and *I* need away to be able to "not just stop". I've tried various different things, some successful, some not sucessful and others that were temporarily sucessful then brought 5-10lbs of revenge back with it. Why do you think you cant do it? Will it be easy? Heck no, it's not supposed to be easy, it took a life time (assuming) to get here it's not going to be a cake walk to get it off. But ifyou are given a tool that gives you a HIGHER chance to suceed then just "another diet again" isn't that worth it? Are you willing to give up some of your favourite foods (granted not all and I'm sure some day you will be able to have SMALL tastes of these) to be able to walk into ANY mall and walk into ANY store and know that you can buy their clothes? NOT feel embarrassed going to a movie and barely fitting in the seat? Know that you can comfortably sit on a bus/airplane? Isn't that worth giving up Cheesecake and Starbucks (two of my personal demons) for? I think so.

You have been given a chance to recapture the rest of your life. Grab the bull by the horns and kick its ass!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! And you have sooo many great people here to hold your hand along the way. Don't give up. We're here cheering you on every step of the way!!!:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Crispy · 09-27-2007, 03:36 PM

thank you for the words, they are helpful. I am meeting with a fellow bandster (good friend of mine) for coffee tonight and I am hoping that I can feel better.

Ang1982 · 09-27-2007, 03:42 PM

Enjoy your visit and coffee with your friend. Who better to sit down with and ease your fears and concerns then your good friend who has been through it all :)

loriely · 09-27-2007, 04:59 PM

Your advice is good Ang1982. Yes it is not easy to lose weight and keep it off. The band is great. I have had my band for over 1 yr. I have had ups and downs for roughly 6 months and have had many fills and defills.Right now i have nothing in my band (2 months).,and i gained roughly 6or 7 lbs. If i didn't have the band i know i would of gained all my weight back plus some.My problems aren;t band related and i would recommend getting the band to stop the yoyo dieting.