Argon's Activities

Irishmist · 05-15-2008, 01:51 PM

Hi Mandi.

Go for it Mandi, if i were younger and looking for a job that is what i would go for, i think it is a fantastic job.

Mandi a few lbs fluctuation is okay when you are already at goal, if you go up too much i would change the ticker, but if it is hindering you at all remove it. Sometimes we think and worry about things too much and that is what gets us into trouble.

Good luck with your career change.

Maria

becca77 · 05-17-2008, 05:28 PM

Wow mandi you look stunning!!! I can't imagine ever fitting into a size 6!!! You go girl!!

argon · 05-19-2008, 01:27 AM

Thank you, ladies.

Now can someone offer me some advice?

I came home to surprise my mom for Mother's Day, and was planning on staying 2 weeks for some old fashion quality time, and leaving this Wed. That is until Thursday night when my mom's heart stopped, we called 911, I had to perform CPR, and she passed away at the hospital. I cried that night, off and on, but haven't been able to since. Everyone offering me support and hugs and crying, and I'm shedding barely a tear. I feel like something's wrong with me, and people probably think I'm some cold, heartless bitch. My mom was/is my best friend.

Now a little back story. My mom had MS. She wasn't really in physical pain, but it was hard for her for sure. She was tough and never complained. I tell myself, to try to explain why I'm not crying my face off that how can I be sad when I know she's finally at peace, and if she had to go, this is one of the best ways it could have happened.

Am I in shock? I guess I feel numb. Maybe I'm in denial? I have fleeting moments when I want to go tell her something or call her, like I used to do everyday. I want to be sad. Maybe the funeral will be where I crack.. it's on Tuesday.

Anyone? :(

susansilver · 05-19-2008, 08:55 AM

Oh Mandi,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. This must be a very traumatic time for you. I re-read your post a few times and each time I can't help thinking how the timing was right for you and your mom to say goodbye. I would say that you are in a bit of shock and that is completely normal! We are grieve differently, in different times and different way.

When my mom died I was just turning 16, as a matter of fact she died 1 week after my sweet 16 and was candid with my friends to say that she waited for then (her prognosis was 3 months and she lived 13 months). I believe it was the right time for her to let go - just like it was the right time for your mom to let go. She had said goodbye to her precious daughter, saw and heard how well you are doing and knew she was able to let go.

It was a Sunday when my mom died and when we came home from the hospital our house was filled with people. One of them was our "grouchy old man" neighbour. He grabbed me and starting hugging me and I could not stop laughing!! He thought I was crying so held me tighther which made me laugh more. I finally broke away and ran into the bathroom to calm down - I was mortified! My mother had just died and I was laughing like a hyena. I finally realized later in life that it was a way to relieve all that stress and tension. So please don;t worry about they way you react - if you cry or not - or worry if you will become hysterical at her funeral. This is your time to grieve and you should grieve however it comes to you.

Mandi, my thoughts are with you. Time does heal the wounds and you will continue planning and living this wonderful life you have ahead of you. Your mother will be so pleased.

Susan

Irishmist · 05-19-2008, 10:54 AM

Hi Mandi

Mandi my thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time in your life, moms and daughters always have a special bond, even though there are no tears now they will come, mine came at the cemetery, with my dad they came months after his death, and it was something i had seen on tv that triggered the crying binge.

Right now you are still in shock, not quite believing what has happened, plus you have a lot to deal with making arrangements etc. Mandi again i am so sorry for your loss. I wish i could be with you to give you a proper hug, but this one comes to you with love.

Side bar the rose by my name is how i keep my mother close to me her name was Rose. You will get through this Mandi it will just take time. and time heals all sorrows and hurts.

Maria

argon · 05-19-2008, 11:53 AM

Thank you Maria and Susan :)

I know it must have been fate. I can't believe the fact that I was here. If I had been in Halifax and my dad had to make that call to me... and if he'd had to go through this alone, I can't imagine.

She'd just been in the hospital to determine if she would be a good candidate for this medication pump a week before (that's where I walked in and surprised her with flowers), and while she was there, she was visited by 2 of her sisters from AB, and numerous aunts. Just a few days ago, she had the opportunity to meet a couple friends of mine that I'd known for years, but she'd never physically met. At Easter she saw her brother (who also has MS), who she hadn't talked to in quite a while, as well as her parents. The day she died, she convinced me to plant all her bedding plants for her, even though I tried to get her to let us do it this weekend. I spent a good part of that same day helping a friend at a garage sale, and was invited to stay for dinner but I opted to go home and eat with my mom. It was just after dinner that it happened. I could have easily missed dinner with her and not been there for her in those last minutes. I keep realizing little coinicidences that happened that makes this seem like it was the time.

No one expected it to happen so soon, but I guess everything aligned and the universe decided to make it happen. Everyone keeps saying that she was the happiest she'd been in a while cause she had her girl home, so I'm grateful for that.

Thanks again.

susieq321 · 05-19-2008, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by argon

Thank you Maria and Susan :)

I know it must have been fate. I can't believe the fact that I was here. If I had been in Halifax and my dad had to make that call to me... and if he'd had to go through this alone, I can't imagine.

She'd just been in the hospital to determine if she would be a good candidate for this medication pump a week before (that's where I walked in and surprised her with flowers), and while she was there, she was visited by 2 of her sisters from AB, and numerous aunts. Just a few days ago, she had the opportunity to meet a couple friends of mine that I'd known for years, but she'd never physically met. At Easter she saw her brother (who also has MS), who she hadn't talked to in quite a while, as well as her parents. The day she died, she convinced me to plant all her bedding plants for her, even though I tried to get her to let us do it this weekend. I spent a good part of that same day helping a friend at a garage sale, and was invited to stay for dinner but I opted to go home and eat with my mom. It was just after dinner that it happened. I could have easily missed dinner with her and not been there for her in those last minutes. I keep realizing little coinicidences that happened that makes this seem like it was the time.

No one expected it to happen so soon, but I guess everything aligned and the universe decided to make it happen. Everyone keeps saying that she was the happiest she'd been in a while cause she had her girl home, so I'm grateful for that.

Thanks again.

Mandi,

I am sorry and my thoughts are with know this, there is no right or wrong in how you grieve... I never cried over my brother when he died I was too busy being angry I love him but I was mad he was killed.
Know you got to spend time with her and she was happy at the end and that is what truly matters more than anything else....
Take care of yourself
Heather

lisa in toronto · 05-19-2008, 01:19 PM

Mandi:

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in December, and still find it hard to believe he is not here, not on this earth, for me to call, see or laugh and joke with.He is in my thoughts and heart, as is your Mom in yours. This is how our loved ones achieve a measure of immortality-in our love for them, and our memories of them.
Tears are not a measure of our feelings. Let them come when they will. And, yes, you are probably in a state of shock. Busy doing things, making arrangements etc. It's probably just as well, or you wouldn't be able to get done those things you must.
Hugs to you.

green · 05-19-2008, 02:29 PM

I am very very sorry for your loss. For what it is worth, I did not cry while my mother was dying or immediately after she had died. It was a few months down the road when I finally did crash and spent the afternoon in a remote part of the house noisily bawling my eyes out. You may not be crying but make no mistake: you are grieving and you will continue to grieve. Please accept my sympathy.

loriely · 05-19-2008, 08:15 PM

Mandi i am so sorry about your loss.It was nice of you to make the surprise visit.Hang in there Mandi. Take care .keep us posted how you are doing.

becca77 · 05-20-2008, 11:46 PM

Mandi, I am so sorry for your loss. There is no "right" way to grieve. When I lost my grandma, who was a mother for me, I really only started the grieving process a year later. It was almost like I was in denial. I knew that she died but I wouldn't let myself accept it until I was ready to.
I know exactly what you mean about the universes being aligned, thats exactly the way my grandma left. It sure makes you think and it makes you feel good to know that everything has a way of working out.
I am so sure she will always be smiling down at you.
Take care of yourself and use all of your support systems including us during this time.
Lotsa love,
Becca

Donna D · 05-23-2008, 08:33 PM

Oh Mandi, I am so sorry about your losing your mom. I am a real believer in things happening for a reason. What a wonderful last few days you must have given your mom. Always cherish those little coincidences that happened to bring you to your mom. I hope your grief is soon turned to the most wonderful of memories.

D

Doddie63 · 05-24-2008, 11:22 AM

Mandi I send my sympathy and support. We all grieve differently. Some laugh at funerals, some cry, some show little or no emotion. Grieving is very personal and you shouldn't feel guilty.

Yasmina · 05-25-2008, 12:48 AM

So sorry for your loss mandi, I was so busy takeing care of things when my dad died , I just keep it in. On day about 6
months later it all hit me. Every one deals with things in their own time.
Take care of yourself
Yasmina