lapbanders called cheats

janer55 · 01-29-2008, 06:56 AM

Like most of you i have not told many people and don't plan to for quite some time partly because of the "cheating' aspect but also because I don't want the pressure of people looking at me and expecting the weight to drop off etc.

I am happy that i was banded as it is the first time in my life that I have lost this amount of weight and honestly believe I will not put it back on as have in the past.

However i wonder if the "cheating" aspect sometimes comes from our own reactions to getting banded. I have found many people who do see the band not as a quick fix but as a means to stop eating. I read about people who can't wait for their first fill so they wont be hungry etc. Others who will eat the wrong foods but thats okay I'm not eating much because I have the band

But I think as we progress along the banding journey we find that it is not a fix but a tool just like the treadmill, diet pills, shakes weight watchers etc . It is not easy it is hard work and we have to work along with it.

Maybe we should not be so down on those who think of banding as cheating but explain to them just how hard work being banded is and the problems etc that we experience so that we can change their opinion and maybe we would not be so hesitant in telling others.

Wonder what others think

Take care
jane

Nat271980 · 01-30-2008, 02:51 AM

WOW I am so sorry that you have all had negative comments !

I had my surgery in October and I must have told at least 150 now and I have only had one comment - " so you took the easy way out ?" to which I replied " no the easy way out would have been to carry on the way I was and accept that I was heading towards an early grave" well that shut them up !!

At least we are not making fools out of ourselves on TV like the biggest losers! don't get me wrong I commend the fact that they are trying to do something about it but do you have to do it in front of the whole nation?

I guess its a case of each to their own, But I would say to anyone - hold your head up high , be proud of yourselves and bugger everyone else.

I hope that when you all decide to tell more people that you get better , kinder reactions.

mojo479 · 01-31-2008, 08:44 PM

I have been informed by my Aunty do not tell anyone, as a lot of perple treat her differently, as she eats different from other people that dont get invited for dinner a much anymore. My only concern is that I normally tell my mum every thing, and I know she will be judgement and blame her sister for stearing me in this direction. I just hope I wake from the operation and get to come back and see my two wonderful boys.

My app is 26th Feb, I can't wait.

Fanny Adams · 01-31-2008, 09:08 PM

I posted this in another thread on "Who did you tell?" in the general discussion forum, but it is relevant here:

Quote:

General comment, not directed at anyone in particular: You know every time one of us hides the fact that we've had WLS and passes off our weight loss as the result of willpower, diet and exercise alone, we reinforce the concept in other people's minds that the surgery is the "easy way out". The more successful we are in losing weight, the more other people will think "Hey, I know someone that dropped a ton of weight and they did it all by themselves, so that just proves that anyone can do it if they try!"

We have all come down the hard road of trying and failing at that approach, leading us to make this decision to have the surgery, so why are so many of us actively working to reinforce the idea that WLS is unnecessary?

I understand why people would want to keep it private. I've told many people and have had the "cheater" comment a few times but mostly it has been very positive feedback. I just feel that we have some obligation to break down those negative images out there and educate people on the fact that it is NOT cheating and is NOT an easy way out...

Coo · 02-01-2008, 07:47 AM

Quote:

You know every time one of us hides the fact that we've had WLS and passes off our weight loss as the result of willpower, diet and exercise alone, we reinforce the concept in other people's minds that the surgery is the "easy way out".

Quite possibly, but I personally, was not up to dealing with anymore judgmental comments, or have to try to assert myself and justify my actions.

Some things are personal, and I believe we all have a right to privacy if we so choose.

Mrs.M · 02-04-2008, 10:06 PM

Yes, I agree with Coo. It's been a hard enough struggle without having to "educate" people about how hard it is to lose weight. I just want to be left alone to get on with it, and not have to face a million humiliating questions from people who are curious.
I have only told three people. My husband, my mother and a dear friend who is also considering the same surgery. These are the people who support me and will help me through this very personal experience.

MollyBrown · 02-04-2008, 10:12 PM

Collectively I sure hope we don't give a shit about people calling us cheaters.

They can go straight to hell as far as I am concerned....

I am working harder with this band then I ever did before. Anyone who thinks I am a cheater can kiss my ever decreasing ass....

MollyBrown · 02-04-2008, 10:13 PM

Sorry.... I cuss when I get mad....

Please excuse, but saying darn and butt and things like that just don't get the frustration out of me...

Chickie · 02-05-2008, 03:05 AM

Eh. I know in my heart and soul that I didn't "cheat".

I am not sure that I care what anyone else thinks.

soriminah · 02-05-2008, 04:57 AM

I've got my first appointment tomorrow with the Dr's nurse but my sister was banded 4 years ago. I've only told her and a friend who's looking at getting it done. I'm not intending telling anyone else as it's none of their business.

My sister has had comments about taking the easy way out. To one person she said 'When I can't work or sleep for 2 weeks because I'm in excrutiating pain from gastritis and am that dehydrated from puking that I was on the verge of kidney failure, explain to me how that is the easy way out.

At least she can guide me through since she did this 4 years ago.

Also, a cardiac specialist she knows has the opinion that all overweight people should be banded if they chose. People who are narrow minded and ignorant need to keep their mouths shut and listen to the advocates of the band.

Sarah.R · 02-14-2008, 01:08 AM

I kind of know when your coming from. I have alot of trouble with my lungs and I'm only 19, the reason I was told/and am looking towards the LAP-BAND® is because my dietician told me that even if I loose 10 kgs or so the majority of those people that loose it put that and more back on. I dont want to loose 10 kgs and end up putting 30 back on. I have gone to the dietician twice (today the second time) and the only person that knows about this is me, the doctors and my mother. I plan on telling my 2 sisters and father when I am eventually scheduled and know it will be going ahead, I plan on going out to dinner with them and telling them, I definetly wont be telling people that I've have it done, people are very judgemental and I'm pretty sure that certain people I know if I told them would not be kind so that's why I dont plan on telling them. I'll say this today after going to my dietician and talki0ng to her it came across as an easy solution as she said "you can just have it, not do any excercise and loose weight" but I dont want to be like that. I want to loose it, I want to have this done to help enable me to loose weight

Sunwyse · 02-14-2008, 05:11 AM

I've told everyone at work, around 14 people and they are all supportive. A couple there have weight issues as well and one of them, her FIL had it done about 2 years ago. The only ones how haven't been vocal with support are the younger ones (under 25) but they haven't been negative either, just really don't see the issue is all.

All my family are supportive because they know my history and just yesterday I found out 2 good friends in my personal social circle are getting banded the end of March, so we have a mini support group.

Michelle

BLUE EYED GIRL · 02-15-2008, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaza

Hi All, I was just reading the Inbox in the latest slimming & health mag , and the star letter winner was someone saying that an inspirational slimmer featured in one issue should not have been in the mag because she had LAP-BAND® surgery to lose all her weight, also saying that she was a cheater. I myself have a band and am dam proud of it. I tried every diet/pill that you can think off, yeh I lost weight but when you stop taking it up goes the weight and some. It really made me angry that this inconsiderate person thinks we are cheats, what she dosent understand is we still have to work hard to shift the weight, we dont just miraculously wake up the next day slim (now that would be a dream and not a bad thing,and I think even miss inconsiderate would have the band put in then). When ever someone comments on my weight loss I proudly tell them that I got a secret weapon called a LAP-BAND®, Im not ashamed of it , in fact Ive had other people ask for the surgeons name. Anyway sorry to dump my anger like this, but has anyone else had this reaction from other people when they know you have a band, do any of you feel like a cheat.

i find it sad people are so judgemental,i have lost weight meany times thru differant diets and have lost weight but never been able to keep it of,but with the LAP-BAND®,i dont understand how people can say we cheat,at this stage for me,i feel no restriction yet,i have lost 20kgs,but i have really had to eat fresh and exercise the same as anyone else who may or may not have had this LAP-BAND®,im really hopeing when the weight is of it stays of for good and that i can live a healthyer lifestyle.30 kgs to go to goel weight,but i try and work in 10kg goals[mini goals smile]

ozscot · 03-20-2008, 11:05 PM

Hi all

I told everyone when I got my band what price do you put on your life
I tryed all sorts of diets and if this work for me or you best of luck and keep on living the people close to you love you and will support you to hell with the rest life goes on keep up the good work

PS since I got the band the rest of my famly is losing weight to
and I have not had a fill yet

janer55 · 03-21-2008, 04:48 AM

I just checked in again to this topic and just wanted to add another thought. When i first had my surgery I told very few people mainly because I needed to get my head around it all. I didn't want people watching what i ate making comments etc.

There are some people I will not tell. However now 5 months after my surgergy and 30 kilos lighter I am finding I am more open about it all. I am at easy with it all. I think we need to give ourselves time to adjust to this new life (well that was the case for me ). It does take sometime to get your head around the new lifestyle, sharing hubby's dinner, eating slowerand eating a lot less and the side effects if you don't follow the rules

I think you need to do what is right for you and tell people when you are ready not because you feel you have to

Take care
Jane