Send Good Vibes my Way

Here goes - Seems that my Husband and I have decided to call it quits after 2 children and 10 1/2 yrs of marriage. No it is not because I lost Wt but because of his family. We have gone rounds about the way my MIL was treating my children. For example my youngest (4) was and does call her Mommy - In order for him to get something from her she would have him call her Mommy or not get what ever he wanted. She would try this with my oldest but I would stress in front of her that this is your Grandma. To some it may sound petty but I cannot stand her so it makes it that much worse. She would not feed my children according to the food schedual meaning breakfast, lunch or snack until she was hungry or they would have to tell her that they were hungry. I would find out about these things from my oldest son (8) and when I would ask her she would say it was not true and scold him the next time he would go down there. I would also talk to my husband and he would call her and ask her and she would deny it. Anyway so many other things started to go wrong starting with New years Eve. I was to meet him after a day with the kids in Denver to go to different houses to celebrate. When he called me on my cell phone he was so drunk I decided to just get my brothers kids and go home. I was the baby sitter. Anyway he did not show up until after 1 in the morning - no phone call where he was. He usually just goes to his brothers house. Anyway I found out from my MIL that he was at the dance with her. How sad that the kids and I were waiting for him. He says that he just went with his brother to pick her up at a anniversay dance. I talked to her and told her that I did not like that at all and it was a sign to me of disrespect any way if you are still reading this thanks but it gets worse.
Three weeks ago my son fell and hit the toilet rim on his forehead while trying to take off his underwear. I called the hosp and was so upset that I thought he broke his skull. Anyway I told my MIL in the Am about the fall and to watch him and call me if he got sick or acted strange. When I went to pick up my childeren up my oldest told me that Grandma said that it was my fault my youngest fell and I do not know how to watch my kids. This was the straw that broke the camels Back. I went into the house with just the intention of asking her why she would say something like that and I had my son with me. Now she proceeded to call him a liar and said that he was just upset that she told him to sit down. I told her that the child care was not working out because everyday someone - my son - me - my other child is dirty - unfed - wet - you name it. Then she got completely hostile and crazy she starts yelling and telling me that my son was this and that and that is when I told her I would believe my son any day of the week compared to the pyscho family she has.
Anyway I am moving my son towards the door and she is still ranting about me having no respect. Granted maybe I should have just bit my tongue but these are my children and I could not and would not let her do this to them. Needless to say that my Husband took her side - He says that my son loves to tell stories and that was one of them. Anyway she has him tied to her - For the last Year she makes him lunch so he goes early in the morning to pick it up and sit with her. He gets home from work showers and goes eats dinner down there. I fix dinner for me and the boys and we eat together
Weekends around 4 or 5 in the morning he is back down there. He never spends time with the kids. I see him following in the same steps as his dad. I try everyday and weekend to always do something special with the kids but my oldest tells me MoM why does dad not want to ever be with us? I say I don't know he is just to busy..
Granted I have always stressed to him you have one Mother in this life time Treat her the best. Well he might as well live with her. My gut just wrenches when I think of going home. He sleeps in a different room and the boys either sleep in their room or with me. I wish I could just leave but money and paying off what we owe is a big issue. He is does not abuse me nor with words but he is a yeller. Granted he still gives me his paycheck to deposit in the account but I want so much more. I have tried to talk to him but he says that when I told his mom off that changed everything. I really should have told her more if I knew he was not going to defend his kids

My children are no longer with her and are alot happier - clean - fed - and loved

His family comes from Mexico and we are different Cultures - it has alot to do with it and through the years I have just blown some stuff off.
I hope I get through this weekend stress free:)

Thanks for reading this

Oh I am so sorry you are going through all of this. You sound like a wonderful mother who is doing the best for her children. I will say a special prayer tonight for all of you.

I sent you a PM. I support you and applaud your courage.

Oh honey, I am so sorry. I don't care if she's a saint, he's a fool if he's choosing his mother over you and his children. Good for you for standing up and taking charge of your life. ((((((((HUGS))))))))

Big hugs and best wishes, Bubbame. This is a rough thing to go through but if it's time, it's time. Strong vibes of strength and peace to you and your boys. :hug:

Awwww, I am so sorry you are going through all this. You are a beautiful woman, and those kids of yours are precious. I am glad you stood up not only for yourself, but for those children too!

Hugs!

Mary, it takes alot of courage and strength to do what you are doing..I commend you for it. Your kids will thank you for it in the long run trust me...I wish you the best and will besending you possitvie vibes (((hugs)))

Thank you all so much. I still cannot believe this but it is for the better. Tomorrow I make the computor room his I should just throw all his Sh_t out the door but since he is paying for the room I guess he can have it.
Anyway here we are again me and the kids and the dog. This coming week I am going to have papers drawn up to grant me full custody of the kids. See if that does not open his eyes and maybe, just maybe the light will go on.
I cannot thank you all enough and I know one day the boys will appriciate the struggle to have a happy Secure Life.

Ahhh, geez, what a mess. I'm so sorry Mary. Sending good vibes your way, and you hang in there, 'kay? Keep us posted? Take care of those boys.

Bubbame, My mother raised two girls all by herself! My father was on the police force and never paid more than $80 a month for support. He missed weekends and birthdays. He was not there for us at all really. We still adored him he was dad. Your children love their father I know but you know what is best for them. I pray that your husband wakes up to see that His family is you and your children. When you get married you leave the parents and become one flesh. I know what it is like when you grow up and see a onesided relationship. Where Mama is the one you KNOW will be ther for you no matter what. I applaud you. You are strong, you are invincible, you are w-o-m-a-n! Take care of the little ones they need you. Your husband has got to see the light before it is too late. My dad said (when I was 30) that he kinda thought in a way we would always be little kids( me and my sister). He apologized to us on Nov.9,1999( I was 30 and my sister was 27). He apologized for being a deadbeat dad. We forgave and just last year we can finally say that he is a better father now than he was when we were kids. The bad thing is we needed him so much more then than now. I pray your husband gets it together before he has to make a call 20 years later to apologize.
HUgs and Prayers
DeeDee

All the strength in the world to you my friend. I don't envy your position at all. My husband frustrates me till no end, but to think of an actual divorce is serious business. We'll be here for you leaving the white light on.

Mary,

I am SO sorry to hear this.

Im sending prayers your way...
and whats the chances that he would get another job - FAR away. Thats the problem you know... he's never left home.

(((((BIG HUGS))))) what a hard situation.

I'm sorry to hear you and your children are being treated this way. After 10.5 years it's not like you didn't give it your best shot. Everything happens for a reason (so I've always heard). Hugs!

Ditto's to what everyone said. You have our support Mary, I know this was very hard for you. Hugs and Kisses and lots of prayers heading your way.

(((Mary)))

Sending you strength and healing vibes...