I'm fat...but not really!

Gloucester · 06-30-2008, 02:25 PM

Lately, I have noticed that people talk to me like I’m fat.

Of course, I AM fat….but mentally I’m losing my “fat person” mentality.

First, my friend still thinks I’m her eating buddy. We don’t hang out that much, so when we do, she talks about getting this food and that food, then gets that “you suck” look when I order soup or a salad. And, sometimes even actually says: “You suck”.

Gee, thanks.

Secondly, my boss is (my guess) around 350 – 400 pounds and refuses to diet. She is in that “I’ll start on Monday” mode. I’ve been there, I understand, but I can’t enjoy the same foods that she does.

Today she brought me out a Maxine cartoon that says: “My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship”. She wanted me to post it at my desk and said, “I guess we both feel like this, huh?” Well, no. Not really. Then, people were coming by and reading it and laughing – and I was embarrassed.

I think part of it is that I see overweight people (like me) who just eat and eat and eat….and then get dessert - and I just don’t get it. How did I DO that? Physically, how did I eat that much? I think about eating a full meal out now and I get sick just thinking about it. I’m surprised when ½ a sandwich goes down. More importantly, I’m FULL when ½ a sandwich goes down.

Inside of me I see a thin person, but it’s hard to face the fact that I’m still a fat chick to the rest of the world. I know I am because they keep offering me cake, and looking at me like I’m crazy that I don’t want dessert, or extra helping, or the rest of my helping. I get those looks like, “Yeah...you didn’t get fat from not eating…come on!”

I’m fat, but:
I don’t want to order appetizer
I don’t want to order dessert
I do want a take home box
I really don’t want anything from the vending machine right after just coming back from lunch.

FairyFacade · 06-30-2008, 02:31 PM

Sorry you feel like that, this is where people leave me in disbelief. I don't get this crap from people. If I pass on a dessert or the snacks (jeez the snacks) people bring in every day in the break room.. no one hounds me or thinks because I'm fat I have to eat. I've had people say "Oh but I made this from scratch, it's sooo good you have to try it", I just say "I am soooo full", they don't know what or if I ate anything.

Let it roll off, part of the non-fat girl mentality is not letting them make you feel bad. People can only hurt your feelings if you let them!

As for the comic, I would have had a big laugh and then trashed it. :)

Gloucester · 06-30-2008, 02:54 PM

The comic strip is funny... :)

I just think it's happening more and more by the fat people in my life. The ones who think I'm there for them when they want to be fat. Everyone else is normal, but I'm the one who "gets it" because I'm fat.

And, I am fat...and I DO get it. It's just hard to not cringe when I see that behavior. Mainly because I see myself there, and I don't want to be a part of that anymore.

My mother is a food pusher and a BIG eater. My whole family loves to eat, so for me to just sit there while they all eat and eat and eat...It's a strange feeling.

Like watching alcoholics drink. It's hard to watch and not be able to say anything.

At a restaurant the other day I overheard a daughter ragging her mother about smoking. The smoker was a smallish woman in her early 60's, maybe and the daughter was around 300 pounds, and she was eating dessert while the mother had a cigarette. The daughter just kept on and on about how she wish she would quit and that it wasn't healthy...and the mother finally said, "I'll put my cigarette down when you put your fork down."

I guess my point was less anger than just a breaking point. I'm not in that club anymore, and I know so many people who are. It's comforting to have fat people around - misery loves company. But, since I don't look "normal" yet, I guess it's weird to them that I am "acting normal"? I guess...I dunno. Just thought it was strange, and I don't know how to react.

I guess nothing gets hurt if I just let it roll. But, part of me wants to help my friends, and I know from experience that I can't.

But, I can get skinny and show 'em! lol

FairyFacade · 06-30-2008, 03:09 PM

You feeling bad or guilty isn't going to help them.. And like you said, you know how it is.. you can't help if they don't want it. I could give you a million examples of this, but you're an adult.. you've seen it everywhere! Really, just say you're full and let it go! I like to share recipes with people, so I don't mind when they tell me about some food they found. I love cooking now! And I know it drives people crazy but I am compelled to point out calories in mundane things.. only because it baffles my mind. Granted, everyone I know just about is a bean pole and don't care, so I'm not pointing it out to tell them they're getting fat (and they know that), I just am like a book of useless info and now that I am aware of calorie content, it's something I bring up!

Gloucester · 06-30-2008, 03:21 PM

LOL...I'm getting like that with WW points. (Following it along with my DD.)

So, yeah! I know what you mean - people just don't wanna know!

I'll just start smoking... :)

MacMadame · 06-30-2008, 09:46 PM

I think the mental game is the hardest part of this process. Just wait until your outsides match your insides... people will not put you in the Fat Club and will talk about Fat People around you as if you aren't one of them. That will be weird too.

In the meantime, just look at them funny. I find my "mom" look shuts up more than my kids.

plain · 06-30-2008, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gloucester

Lately, I have noticed that people talk to me like I’m fat.

Of course, I AM fat….but mentally I’m losing my “fat person” mentality.

First, my friend still thinks I’m her eating buddy. We don’t hang out that much, so when we do, she talks about getting this food and that food, then gets that “you suck” look when I order soup or a salad. And, sometimes even actually says: “You suck”.

Gee, thanks.

Secondly, my boss is (my guess) around 350 – 400 pounds and refuses to diet. She is in that “I’ll start on Monday” mode. I’ve been there, I understand, but I can’t enjoy the same foods that she does.

Today she brought me out a Maxine cartoon that says: “My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship”. She wanted me to post it at my desk and said, “I guess we both feel like this, huh?” Well, no. Not really. Then, people were coming by and reading it and laughing – and I was embarrassed.

I think part of it is that I see overweight people (like me) who just eat and eat and eat….and then get dessert - and I just don’t get it. How did I DO that? Physically, how did I eat that much? I think about eating a full meal out now and I get sick just thinking about it. I’m surprised when ½ a sandwich goes down. More importantly, I’m FULL when ½ a sandwich goes down.

Inside of me I see a thin person, but it’s hard to face the fact that I’m still a fat chick to the rest of the world. I know I am because they keep offering me cake, and looking at me like I’m crazy that I don’t want dessert, or extra helping, or the rest of my helping. I get those looks like, “Yeah...you didn’t get fat from not eating…come on!”

I’m fat, but:
I don’t want to order appetizer
I don’t want to order dessert
I do want a take home box
I really don’t want anything from the vending machine right after just coming back from lunch.

Ya know, Glouc, I think I can already see the thin person inside you emerging! Just give the saboteurs "the mental finger" and proceed with your success.

Gloucester · 07-01-2008, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacMadame

...people will not put you in the Fat Club and will talk about Fat People around you as if you aren't one of them. That will be weird too.

You're right! I'd forgotten this story, but once my mother lost a bunch of weight via WW and was at McD's. She was at the register when a large woman (mom says maybe 200 lbs?) came in and the kids behind the register said, "Here comes a large order." To them, mom would get the joke and laugh with them because she wasn't part of the fat club. She just stared them down with her mom look and they shut up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by plain

Ya know, Glouc, I think I can already see the thin person inside you emerging! Just give the saboteurs "the mental finger" and proceed with your success.

:) Thank you Plain! As I was reading this, I felt the thin person inside me flexing that mental finger....