feeling scared and confused

pier13 · 06-02-2006, 11:53 PM

I have been thinking of getting the lap band for a few years. I finally made an appointment and my first visit is at the end of june. Ever since I made the appointment I have been really nervous and confused. One minute I am like this is crazy, its too drastic. What if I run into problems or die??? I can do this on my own! Then the next minute I am like if you could do it on your own you already would be thin and healthy. I don't know why I can't just eat healthy and move more? Will the lap- band be the tool I need? I think I am scared of losing control of what I can and cant eat. I only drink soda,coffee,and very little water. I have to drink while I eat. What if I wanted a beer, can you have a drink? I know that sounds foolish, especially since I rarely ever do, but I think it's the loss of having the choice to have one if I wanted too. I know I need to do something really soon. I have alot of health issues. I even had back surgery 1 1/2 yrs ago and until just recently I was feeling great. I have been on and off steriods for asthma for a year and have gained almost 30lbs this yr and my body cant handle it anymore. I am just afraid of making things worse if something goes wrong with the lap band surgery. I am also afraid of things getting worse if I don't have the surgery. I feel better knowing that some of you have experienced the same feelings and that I am not alone. I look forward to reading more posts of how the initial fear turns into hope and inspiration after surgery. I wish you all the best in your journey to good health :)

pugmum · 06-03-2006, 01:22 AM

I felt that way. I think a lot people go through the same thing.

I'm grateful to be banded. It's a whole new life, but I realize I have such freedom every day. I don't obsess about what diet I am going to try.

This is a great place full of a lot of experience. Take advantage of it!

Kelli

Jachut · 06-03-2006, 02:05 AM

Oh, its so hard going through that stage. I changed my mind a few times and cancelled a few appointments with my surgeon before I actually got there.

Its normal to have these fears and it is healthy to do some soul searching as to whether or not you're ready for this step. What really helped me was suddenly realising "if I want to lose this weight and keep it off, I can ever eat this way again band or no band". Then I figured I may as well go with it and have the tool to help me stick to that because I was honest and knew I couldnt do it without.

It also pays to remember that here is a place where people come for support with their problems. The people here make up a miniscule proportion of bandsters in general and you heare about their problems, trials and tribulations, but in all honestly, my lifestyle has not changed at ALL since banding. I just eat less (and healthier) and have lost weight. But heck yeah, I still have a drink occasionally, still eat cake, chocolate etc.

I've also never vomited or had any problems with my band.

**Iluvharleys** · 06-03-2006, 07:05 AM

It's only natural to feel all the things you are feeling. You are going through surgery and it's a scary thing for all of us. I can actually say that as the time got closer, and I read everything I could get my hands on, that I felt much better about it. The day of surgery the fear was actually gone, and I knew I was doing the right thing.

Good Luck in whatever you decide to do.

**Jack** · 06-03-2006, 07:55 AM

re: "What if I run into problems or die??? "
What if you don't?

re: "I can do this on my own! "
You are....and the Band is but a tool.

Name one other aspect of our lives where we continue to refuse to use the tools necessary to solve a problem or complete a project.

Immanual Kant has a lengthy treatise on the 'Hypothetical Imperative' and how we act AS IF such-and-such were true....and by acting AS IF we give credence to a non-reality...such that the hypothetical come to rule our lives. If that be the case, we can create our own Improved Reality by acting AS IF [insert GOOD things] were true rather than [insert BAD things]. We can choose to walk in sunshine, or choose to walk in the dark. With practice, we can influence our lives in a very positive direction and leave the 'what if' behind.

If we want to continue be ruled by our fears of 'what if' and we allow our lives to be controled by irrational behavior, we abandon that part of our mind, the purpose of which is to solve problems, overcome obstacles, and to guide our lives into more satisfying activities.

IMHO, we have the choice symbolized by this: Life is a river. We can respond to the current like a monkey on a log floating towards the falls around the next bend. We can ride in terror over the falls, or we can respond with appropriate behavior to paddle to shore.

For too long I behaved like the monkey on the log. With the Band I've started paddling to shore.

pier13 · 06-03-2006, 02:53 PM

thanks for your support. It really is very helpful.

pier13 · 06-06-2006, 09:04 PM

I am canceling my appointment for the Lap Band. I have never been so unsure of something as I am now. I really thought I was ready. It really made me look at myself and my weight loss attempts and I truly have never really tried. Ya, I joined weight watches a couple times and quit after a few weeks. I would lose like 1/4 lbs in a week??? Anyway thats how I found out I have PCOS which causes insulin resistance. I need a diet higher in protien and need to take my meds "Metformin" which I never take. So I whole heartedly need to try a weight loss program and if it fails then there is still the lap band and Then I will feel sucure with my decision. thank you all and I wish you all the best on your journey's :)

pugmum · 06-06-2006, 09:42 PM

I hope you are successful! Trusting yourself is the key to lots of things in life. You'll know if you want to have surgery. At least you have educated yourself about the different options for weight loss.

Kelli

pier13 · 06-07-2006, 10:39 AM

Thank you Kelli!! :)