So scared..

Thread Starter  

So let me start by saying I am an RN. I work on a post operative surgical floor and have for about 3 years. So my surgery is on the 30th of this month, 11 days away. And now as the days get closer, and I prepare more the more I become frightened. Is this horribly weird. I mean I keep thinking to myself 'what if I dont wake up'. I know it may seem silly, and I have researched this procedure so much. I have even met a lady that had the surgery done in January by my surgeon and picked her brain for hours! What a sport! Anyways I am having a hard time sleeping, thinking about what my fiance will do if I pass, what will go on with my family. Part of me is so excited and all I want to do is focus on the good and I know I should be. So is this cold feet? The pre surgery jitters? Am I being unreasonable? Nothing will stop me from going for this surgery on the 30th, I am just trying to alleviate some of this fear....help...

Are you Obsessive/Compulsive? You have many of the same thoughts I expressed preOp....

and IMHO that level of anxiety shows what is otherwise 'normal concern' is taken up another notch....

many of the behaviors Bandsters discuss here seem O/C level disorder. No big deal, that's just how we have learned to cope.

I find my own O/C and panic/anxiety modes just melting away with my waistline.

As a professional, this is a good opportunity for you to study what many of your patients experience. This will give you insights otherwise probably ignored in the daily routine of your other duties.

Get a grip. If you believe in numbers, the odds are WAY in your favor. If you believe in a higher power, the odds are STILL way in your favor. And if you are atheist/agnostic/non-believer, then the odds are STILL in your favor.

Cheers in your journey. We'll be waiting for your report.

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373/258
"Carpe mañana"
*Oldtimers posse: surgery 12/21/04*

My Quest is Victory over the Dragons of Habit, Gluttony, Sloth, Desperation...

hey shannon. we have alot in common. i'm also 29 and i'm getting my surgery on May the 29th and i'm also afraid about getting the surgery as well. weird things normally have a tendence to happen to me and i just keep on thinking that the 0.01 chance of death during surgery will be me. but one thing that i keep on thinking about is my bp and weight. if i don't get these reduced soon, i will either have a stroke or worse. fear of the unknown is normal. for that reason surgery does scare me since this is going to be my first one. but fear of the know is moving me to get this done. i want to live a health life...i know its hard but try to think about the reasons way you are having this surgery. i'm sure that that will help you to see that you are making the right choice not for anyone else, but for yourself.

I'm scared too. More scared than excited. My surgery is this Wednesday morning. I'm a single parent and I'm all my kids really have. I don't have any co-morbidity problems, yet. Is this going to be worth it? I pray that it is. My anxiety level is mounting and I just don't feel like I'm in this 100%. I desperately need support and well wishes. I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into. I'm almost to the point where I'm about to write letters to the kids just in case something goes bad. I'm soooo over-reacting, I know. I think I need my sedation now.....

Shannon I'm scared too!! I've never had surgery before, and am really nervous about a lot of aspects of it, what if I wake up during surgery!??! What if I'm paralyzed and can feel everything but can't do anything about it!? What if I don't wake up from the anathesia!? What if something goes wrong, there are so many things running through my mind. A neighbor of mine and a close friend of my sister's was killed this past Friday night in a car accident, she was only 17 and her mother died years ago, so her father is stuggling so much now. Seeing his struggle and even how much her death has affected my own family is making me think of what it would be like if I didn't make it. I'm sure everything will be fine (fingers crossed) but I still have all these fears in the back of my head.

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Scarlet haha I could use some sedation right now too...

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my surgery is less than 12 hours away and i'm FREAKING OUT!! I'm worried I won't be able to sleep tonight and I'm really nervous and scared. I totally know how you are feeling!

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Shannon, i too am an RN and a lot of your anxiety, as we nurses know, could stem from all the minor comps that we know can be life threatening. That's why RN's make the worst patients!! BUT, one good thing on our side, we also know what it takes to make the surgery a success. Get movin' and breathin'!! You will do fine and it will all be over before you know it! Another good thing you have, you know the "perks" one can get while in the hospital so don't be afraid to ask!! God bless.

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Brenda in S.C.
band date 5/7/08
256/174/145

I'm sure you will do fine. I have had several surgeries and this was by far the easiest. It is pretty quick, so you aren't under for very long. I wasn't even very sore after and didn't have the gas pains I've heard about.

I just kept thinking "My chances are better with the surgery than without". Keep thinking about all the good things that are coming for you after the surgery and the surgery itself as a stepping stone to get there. GOOD LUCK!

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Cheryl
Barix Clinic Ohio
H-305/S-5/6/08-278/C-268/G-180

I just had my surgery a week ago today (May 13th). I too was freaked out. I had the pre-surgery jitters. I sat on my couch the night before and told my husband that I must be crazy - I'm not doing this. We both just looked at each other because we knew that I didn't mean that.

My chances are better with the surgery than without. Without surgery, my BP remains high, I continue to have Type II Diabetes (which was worsening) and my thyroid had recently decided to crap out. I didn't want to stroke out - I HAD to have this surgery.

I got my will together (I'm always harping on my family about wills - You're getting on an airplane?! Where's your will?!) and spelled out my wishes to my husband as to where I wanted my ashes scattered, play this song, please remarry, etc. I know that seems ridiculous to some, but I needed to do that. He patiently listened and let me get it out. It was important to me that I work through this process in the way that comforted me best.

We have a business so I made plans on who would partner will my husband to help run the business. Somehow in making arrangements I calmed down and realized I wouldn't be leaving everything a mess. I know I have OC issues and it has been a battle my entire life.

At the hospital my mom and husband prayed with me and I went into surgery. My mom kept telling my doctor, "God bless you". It was kind of funny. I knew that this was what was best for me and that I just had to trust my doctors and nurses.

I'm down 11 pounds since surgery and I feel great. Still healing, but moving around great and feeling better every day.

As my mom always says when someone is sick or recovering, say this mantra, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better".

You can do this.

Thread Starter  

So I just checked this thread today, and I want to thank you all, I don't know any of you, but you all had something to say that touched me and was important to me. It amazes me how much you can have in common without ever really knowing anyone. My mom would say to me sometimes, you are just a spec in a world far larger than you, but remember how much you are loved. You all made me feel loved, and I wish you all well, and good luck and long lives. I know I need to do this, and it will be done, I am writing a short will, and telling my good friend where it is as my fiance hates when I talk about it. I am changing my thinking and trying to stay positive, and choosing life, because without this surgery my other choice is certainly not a good one. So thank you all for your kind words and encouragement and I hope to hear from you all as our journeys continue. I am sure as the days tick by I will be on here more and more frantically writing if not just to have someone hear me, and I thank you all for listening...10 days to go...

Yea I was worried about waking up during surgery too, or not waking up but being able to feel everything and hear everything. I told the anesthesiologist my fears and he made me feel soo much better about it. He said that was a VERY rare side effect, and it usually only happens when they give you a special kind of anesthesia for people with heart problems. So if you aren't getting that kind you should have no worries!

Shannongetsslim,
I'm so glad that you are feeling a little better! It was a hard thing for me to go thought surgery, and I was having second thoughts all the way into the OR. And i'm sure I will have some more as I think its just part of the cycle...BUT i have faith that I DID do the right thing, and I am so great full that everything turned out ok and I'm alive and healthy although sore and have gas pains! I'm glad that you feel supported here, I do too! Its so nice to have a bunch of supportive people to talk to that have or are going though the same time as you! wishing you well on your surgery!
Marine

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Shannongetsslim,

I am soooo glad to hear somebody else is as nervous as me. I'm being banded on June 4 and I've never had any kind of surgery either. I'm not a nurse but I am a bit of a hypochondriac and have terrible anxiety regarding any type of medical procedure even getting my blood pressure taken.

I had to go have my pre-op testing done today and I was nervous the whole time thinking they would surely find something wrong with me. I'm not going to back out of surgery by any means but I know I'm going to be a big ball of nerves the day of my surgery (and probably several days prior!).

Thank goodness the odds are so much in our favor and I'm sure everything will be fine. Luckily my doc requires lots of pre-op testing that would hopefully detect any unknown issues that could cause complications. Let's just keep thinking positive. And get ready to do some walking and heavy breathing as soon as we wake up from anesthesia!

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EB in SC
Banded: June 4, 2008 - Lexington, SC
H-322/S-312/C-261/G-180

I'm really scared too. I'm 1 week away and now have all these thoughts about what if it doesn't work, all the money I'm spending, etc. I think it's normal. I'm really excited, but at the same time apprehensive. Good luck in your journey. Brenda

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H 364/S 330/C 252/G 160
05/28/08 - banded Dr. Saville
07/07/08 - 1st fill (3 cc); 08/04/08 - 2nd fill (3 cc, -0.5 cc); 09/15/08 - 3rd fill (1.5 cc); 10/27/08 - 4th fill (1 cc); 10/31/08 - unfill 0.5 cc 11/24/08 - 5th fill (0.7 cc)