Allison

SO I'm going to go have an early dinner with my mom at Fridays in about a half an hour. I think I'm gonna attempt to tell her about the surgery there. I'm soooo nervous I hate having "these talks" with her, regardless of what they are about. I really hope she is supportive of me. If you read some of my old posts, you'll see that she was sort of supportive in the past when she went to the seminar with me, but she quickly changed her mind and thought it was too drastic for someone who "only" (ha) needs to loose about 100 pounds. Ahh I'm freaking out!!!! I've been dreading this moment for weeks. I have no idea how to bring it up. Any suggestions????

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Bizzy Bee

Allison - I understand your feelings here. I still haven't told my dad. My mom and dad are divorced. I was afraid to tell my mom. I took her some information on lap band, she said that people should be able to lose weight on their own. I asked her how that was working for her and she quickly got my point. I told her I was having the surgery and she was fine with it. Well except for the fact that I am going out of the country and paying myself. Things will be fine. You are doing this for you and I know you love your mom, but this is your life and you have to do what you need to do to make your life better. YOur mom will be fine. YOu'll see.

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May Flowers

Caterpillarfly

I think that as long as your honest and explain WHY you're doing this, she'll understand.

Telling my mother was hard, but she ultimately wants me to be happy and healthy, so she's supportive and will come stay with me for a week to take care of me after the surgery.

My father still doesn't know, and I'm not sure if he'll ever know. I mentioned the surgery to him about 4 years ago when I first starting considering it, and he flipped out. He doesn't believe in anything artificial and thinks that everything can be accomplished with "good old-fashioned hard work." He's definitely one of those people who thinks that this would be the "easy way out." At the time I needed his approval and his financial support, but now I don't need either.

When my mother told him that she was coming up to take care of me, she told him that I was having surgery due to my polycystic ovaries, and he didn't ask for any details. I hate lying, but I know he'd never support me, and if I ever had financial problems in the future he'd say it was my own fault since I'm a self pay.

I personally am not telling anyone but my mother, grandmother, aunt, and best friend about what I'm having done. While I know some people would be supportive, I know others would be negative or jealous, or feel that I didn't "deserve" my weight loss because I "cheated." I know that I am doing this for myself, and I don't need anyone else's opinion to alter how I feel about myself or my decision.

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How do you become a butterfly?
You've got to want to fly so badly that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar!

neverB4

Hey all!! I get banded May 13th!!!! Now if I can figure out how to bring my timeticker over....

KikiVal315

Ticker TUTORIAL (WITH PICTURES!) <-there you go neverb4.

allison, just be sincere with your mom. she is your mom and will understand. if she doesn't at first, she'll come around .

heck, i climbed over a kitchen island to tell my dad,that's how nervous and excited i was to tell him...he got the point on why i am getting this done

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Banded: 5/22/08...4cc band
H:278/S:268/C:236/G:155
1st fill : 8/12/08 2cc's
Dr. Kuri- Tijuana

kamicola

I am trying this ticker thingy.... I'll see if it works...
Kammi

kamicola

Got it!... Just one question though.... when I go back to Ticker page how do I get the ones I configured? Right now they are just reduced at the bottom of my page...

Allison

Thanks for all the support guys. SO telling my mom was actually really easy. AS SOON as we sat down, she asked me if I was looking into "that surgery thing we looked into back in September." Apparently she had seen some information from the surgeon that had come in the mail for me (I live with my parents.) We talked about it all, she brought up a lot of concerns, but they were all just a lot of things she doesn't know or understand about the band. I feel that if she learns more she'll be more supportive. I haven't told my dad, nor do I plan to. I know my mom will tell him, but my dad is an athlete who runs the Boston marathon every year. He is constantly telling me to just go for a run with him and the weight will come off... so Jessica I know what you mean when you say your dad is old fashioned, hard work kind of guy. Unfortunately I'm still in college full time and have to live with him :/ I'm so relieved to have gotten this out in the open with my mom though. Now I just need a surgery date so I can officially be a May Flower! :)

Allison

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tonyahebert

And I haven't told my mom...I am 38 years old and I was widowed 2 years ago...when my husband died, my mom moved down here (from Illinois to Texas) to help me with my kids and such...She is quite a bulldog when it comes to me--extremely protective and tends to forget that I am a grown woman. This summer she is going to work in Wyoming on a dude ranch, which is a good thing cause I need to be on my own for a while. I was married for 14 years...have never really been by myself. I am afraid that if I tell her, she will find a reason not to go...is that bad of me??? I SO want to surprise her when she comes home in September.

kamicola

that would be so cool. I think you should save her worry, let her go, you both probably need a break and then surprise her...! Just my opinion.. I bet it's hard to keep your mouth quiet though when you are excited I am sure...

Kammi in Everett, WA
Dr. Kuri - Mexico

jess187

allison i can totally understand how you feel... my grandparents really dont want me getting it either they keep saying why cant you do it on your own you dont need to lose a lot, but i feel that this is going to change my life and i need to do this because i cant do it on my own, i have tried everything as did most of us im sure. they are just really scared because their cousin went for gastro and never came out of the hospital due to an infection. honestly i cant wait tobe banded though

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Jessica<3

banded: May 27th 2008


S / C / G
222/183/130

neverB4

txs kiki!!!!

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Brenda in S.C.
band date 5/7/08
256/194/145

bandfan1

Allison:

Good luck with your conversation with your Mom. My mom passed away last June and she was very concerned about my weight. She had was worried about me getting diabetes and other complications due to my weight. When I got the diagnosis of diabetes in August, I felt that it was a sign that I needed to take action.

Being a mother myself, I don't know how any mother would oppose to their child finally taking control of the problem and wanting to be healthy.

Yes, mom's worry about surgery, but if you present it in a positive light by telling her all of the beneficial reasons that you want to move forward with it, hopefully she will understand.

I wish my Mom was alive to tell her. I know that she would be behind me 100%

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Surgery Date: 5/1/08 (5.0 cc lap band)
Surgeon: Kurt Roberts (CT)
First fill: 5/27/08 (1.25cc)
2nd fill: 6/24/08 (1.0cc)

Allison

Hey bandfan I posted a couple posts back about the conversation I had with my mom. SHE actually brought it up! She had seen some things in the mail for me from my surgeon. She was concerned about a lot but I know that I can teach her more and help her feel more comfortable about the whole situation. Thanks for all the support everyone and bandfan, I'm sure your mom would be very proud of you !

Allison

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neverB4

My mom called me last night. She is beginning to get excited for me now that a couple of her co-workers are sharing positive info on it with her. She was surprised that it's a common-knowledge thing and a highly sought consideration!!

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Brenda in S.C.
band date 5/7/08
256/194/145