Lack of support anyone? Friends anffamily not really "happy" about your choice?

Illiana · 06-30-2008, 12:21 AM

Anyone getting the same treatment? When i dropped the bomb about me getting the band (which just happened June 23rd 2008)...not very many people were really supportive!!!! I always been big and sassy! but i wasnt healthy. i find people very worried about my gradual weight loss (will i go LOCO and turn in a Paris Hilton wannabe)...

I just want to live longer and enjoy my life... fit into a airplane seat...go on a carnavial ride...

Anyone dealing with this???

salgal4yahya · 06-30-2008, 01:25 AM

Hey girl, I know the feeling!!! I am waiting for my surgery date, and already people are freaking out!!! Even, my girlfriend who has a band. What does she think I am her competiton??? Well let the games begin, is how I see it. My sister is also waitng for her band so I guess that means were gonna tag team her in a year from now. Whatever, their is nothing you can do about other peoples' insucureities. Just keep on keeping on. And put yourself first. They will follow.

cutiew/booty · 06-30-2008, 01:51 AM

Don't worry about what anybody else thinks. I'm such an open book it's hard from me not to tell everyone. I've had family members question what I'm doing but, it's purely out of love. And I'm sure in your case it's the same...surgery is a scary thing, and of course the one's who love you are going to worry.

Salgal-Has your friend being losing?

bigboi325 · 06-30-2008, 03:02 AM

Hi,

i'm new to the site living in Singapore for work and getting it done in August. The thing for me is not being able to talk about it with my wife without it turning into an argument. We are trying to have another child and she some how thinks by doing this im choosing me over the child. Living in a foreign country doesn't help eighter we're all we have as far as support. and I too got the your gonna get back into shape & go crazy speach... I just would like to be there for my children, so it's not just you ladies LOL

leknigh · 06-30-2008, 06:48 AM

I've tried really hard to limit myself to who I've told (and hope those people stay quiet) because it is hard to predict how anyone will react. Plus, I have to admit it's a pride thing as well. I don't want to have to put up with that "look", you know - the one that says "Oh, here she goes on yet another doomed to fail diet!".....
I figure it's your decision, your body, your health, and your happiness at stake, so if you have some friends or family that are worrying about losing the "fat sassy friend", then remind them just how much more fun you are going to be when you can really start living life!
GOOD LUCK! :)

gone 4 ever · 06-30-2008, 07:25 AM

Congrats on your band Don't let them get to you. O.K. No problems with my family members being unhappy about it. Just the opposite.. I may not tell some people because I don't know them well or feel it is their bussiness. But my sis and her hubby tell everyone! It is because they are proud of me. But still it can be irritating. These people I did'nt say anything to start questioning everything I put into my mouth. I haven't had a fill yet and I am getting tired of explaining to people. I am getting where I tell then to come check out the web site so they can learn more. Seems to help in some cases. But my kids won't tell anyone and won't hardley question me at all. I have them look at the site. I explain to them ins and outs of the band. I think they are relieved when they go home. LOL Get away from the crazy LB lady.

kikismom · 07-01-2008, 06:39 AM

I am experiencing the same thing i am a single mother of two adult children. I am going to try and adopt my fosterson, and i dont think it is fair to him or to myself being as heavy as I am. So, I made the decision to do this and i told my 2 best friends. first they started to argue over me going to Mexico to have it done and then the heated arguement went to I am taking the easy way out. After 42 years of being obese and trying every diet. I dont think I am taking the easy way out. I am using all my savings and taking out a loan for a portion of it, and traveling to Mexico by myself because none of my friends will go with me. So since the initial arguement with my friends they both said they wouldnt discuss it anymore. So I didnt well my friend thought I dropped it, she was very surprised last night when she over heard me talking to a women who had the procedure done and I told her the date of my surgery. I hope your friends and amily come around and for that sake I hope mine do to. Good Luck

Illiana · 07-01-2008, 08:40 AM

that you so much for posting! everyone is great for all the positive things you guys say! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

soontobehottie · 07-01-2008, 08:54 AM

I also thought about not telling people, but like Cutie I am an open book too. But I have not told my husbands family and won't until someone asks me why I am half the person I used to be :biggrin2:

I was shocked yesterday though when my husband told me that has told some of his friends. I don't really care who knows but deep down I kind of thought that he was just supporting me because he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Well one of his very good friends must weight about 450 and he told him to give him some motivation to look into it.

So first of all you never really know how people are going to react, and I think that for alot of us we are going to run into jealousy...people get used to you (me) being a certain way and when you change that they get freaked out. You (me) can no longer be put in the "fat" catagory, so where do you belong? Human nature is weird.

Just keep going and do it for you and nothing else. The people who are meant to be in your life will still be there supporting you when all is said and done.

jbrady54 · 07-01-2008, 04:06 PM

SOMEWHERE there is an example "letter" that you can send to your family/friends explaining your decision to have WLS. I can't remember where I saw it, but would love to see it now. It was straight to the point, yet humble.

Brockbabe82 · 07-01-2008, 04:22 PM

I think you all make such wonderful points. It is our devine right as a human being to treat our bodies the way we want. Often times people get jealous when they see people go through such dramatic changes inside and out. I know for me I have limited who I have told only because people see my age and they think what are you doing to yourself. or your taking the easy way out.
Basically in my life its a need to know basis.When I am comfortable enough to talk about it I will.
Good luck to you all!!!!