I am having anxiety about my upcoming surgery

suefwd · 06-02-2006, 08:30 AM

Help...I know I made the right decision about having surgery.....I am having fear....I am scheduled for June 14 at Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Center. Dr. Ben Schneider will be my surgeon..I have a long way to go....I have been struggling with my weight for years and have not been successful with any diet or food plan....I have diabetes and weigh in at 260. I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I hate the way I look. I am exhausted all the time. I don't want to go out anywhere. My knees hurt, my ankles hurt. I get out of breath just walking...I hate living like this... So I know I made the right decision for the surgery, but the closer I get the more fear I have about the surgery and then the doubt comes.. I keep asking myself...Maybe this is too drastic...Maybe this will screw up my body...maybe I will never be able to eat again without discomfort...maybe the thought of the port inside my body and the band will drive me crazy...Please help me... I need to hear positive reinforcement.

disneynut · 06-02-2006, 10:53 AM

Take a deep breath - now let it out. You have done your research and like the rest of us here, we have tried and failed to diet on our own. You are experiencing what we all did prior to our bandings. Two months out I don't even think about the port inside, all I know is that the band is working for me, everyday. You will do just fine. Good luck on your surgery. Keep us all posted on your progress.

Rett · 06-02-2006, 11:15 AM

Hi, I know how you feel, my surgery is Tuesday 6/6/06 and I'm up and so excited one day and then, like last night, I'm scared to tears and sobbing all over the place. I'm 57, 5'1" tall and over a hundred pounds too heavy and like you have been suffering for a long time with back problems and foot problems and sleeping problems and pain, pain, pain. I can't keep up with my housework I'm no fun and of course I look terrible feel terrible and can't really do anything so I eat which just makes it worse and then... well you know the story. I guess there are no garantees in life, except I think we are pretty much garenteed more of the same and worse if we don't lose weight, and if we go on another diet we know we will end up another 10-20 lbs. heavier, so the band gives us HOPE and I think it's the best option we have. Once a person puts on 100 or more pounds it doesn't matter how hard you work to take it off or keep it off, your body hates the empty fat cells and is constantly trying to fill them up. Bummer!!I'm cared t be able to handle the new life style because everything in life seems to revolve around food. All my husband and I seem to do together is go out to lunch. Now we'll have to find something else..... or have nothing.
After all our strugglings, which have been in vain, I believe there remains within us, a last, effectual struggle to be made. Good Luck !!! This is going to take a major leap of faith, but what do we have to lose, except say, 100lbs.?
Rett

bermy · 06-02-2006, 04:22 PM

Amen Ret ! And may the Force be with you !

suefwd · 06-02-2006, 09:25 PM

Thanks for the words of support.. I know it is the right decision.. I know that I will feel better after the surgery.. I am just having fear...I will continue to read the postings so I can hear hope ....Thanks
Susan

**Jack** · 06-02-2006, 09:40 PM

re: "So I know I made the right decision for the surgery, but the closer I get the more fear I have about the surgery and then the doubt comes.. I keep asking myself...Maybe this is too drastic...Maybe this will screw up my body...maybe".....maybe NOT!!!

I think you been looking in MY journal!!! This is nearly verbatum MY OWN words!!!

And those worries did not come to pass....for ME.....and the smart money is on which side of this bet???

We all feel the jitters....I almost got up off the table and left the hospital....I'm glad I didn't....

take that deep breath....calm yourself....breathe deep....you know what your decision is...and you've done your homework......breathe deep....

in again....out again.....slow your thoughts.....breathe deep.....slow your racing heart......in slowly........out slowly.....calm yourself.......

zzzzz.......

you will wake up in 'recovery' but it's really the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! so.....it's a leap of faith....it's something you know is right for you.....if you weren't having second thoughts you wouldn't be like the rest of us Bandsters.....

cheers and :welcome: to BandLand

pier13 · 06-02-2006, 11:53 PM

I wish you the best with your surgery:biggrin1:

**SherryW** · 06-03-2006, 12:49 AM

Sue - I had my band surgery on 2/13/06 with Dr. Jones of the same Bariatric Group. You are in AWESOME hands at BIDMC and their new Bariatric Wing is the best. I was there when they just opened it and from what I heard at the information/support group meeting this past Thursday night it's even better. All the feelings you are having are perfectly normal and if you weren't having them.....I'd wonder if you were ok. I don't think there are many that didn't have those thoughts at least once during the process. A week before my surgery I balled my eyes out wondering why in God's name couldn't I do this on my own. Even the morning of my surgery I questioned myself again. Why did I have to do something drastic in order to lose weight...then I thought...you know I'm still going to have to work at this. This tool is going to keep me focussed. No longer after 3 weeks of dieting only to plateau, give up and eat it all PLUS back again because....the band is there to stop me from gorging myself again. People asked me questions at the meeting...one woman asking whats the worse thing you can say you've experienced since having the band and what's the best. The worse...well that will be that nice golfball you get when you DON'T chew well, eat slowly and stop when you're full...but that's my fault and a process in which I still need to remind myself to follow. But the best thing....FOOD is no longer the center of my attention. My goodness...after 42 years of my life...I'm finally learning we're suppose to eat to live not live to eat. I love the fact that I can still enjoy the things I like but, just in smaller portions. If I want the chocolate I eat it but, you know what.....I want to lose so I only have 1 piece (Hershey kiss or nugget) and I'm satisfied. I can't say I love that golfball but, I'm getting much fewer of them lately because I'm learning :) but, I definately don't regret having this tool with me :) I've lost 40 pounds since my sugery and I'm feel awesome!

Good luck with your surgery. Dr. Schneider is super nice and Angi is an excellent resource for you as well. She too has had the band surgery and she's done awesome! If you have more questions about my experience at BIDMC please feel free to email me :)

Good luck and best wishes!

suefwd · 06-03-2006, 01:32 PM

Thank you so much for your replies and support. I am glad to know I am not alone. It is reassuring to me to know that many of you felt the same way as I did... I am going for my pre-op tests Wed. June 7th,...I want to live....I don't want to have all kinds of complications from diabetes....I want to be able to go for a walk again...I will be reading and chatting as often as I can over the next 10 days prior to my surgery so I can focus on the hope and positive feedback.
Thanks...
I also need to set up a ticker counter..
Susan