the rudeness of others

Bunkey1965 · 04-12-2008, 12:47 PM

I was at a friends house last night for dinner. They had tacos and I brought with me a bowl of Mexican Meatball soup. Just drank the broth part(wow a whole 1/2c maybe) That wasnt the problem. One of my husbands friends was saying I was looking good and asked me how much I have lost so far. I said 14 lbs. Then him and the husband of the friend I was visiting gave one another high 5 and said "You owe me, man!" They were making bets on my weightloss!. I found that really offensive. I just tried to talk about something else. Just need to vent. If I talk to my husband about it he'll say I am too sensitive.

Pix · 04-12-2008, 12:52 PM

Try to think of it as a compliment. I mean they find you important enough to make wagers on.

That reminded me of when my DH and I got married, the fella's at his work made a betting pool on how long we would be together. I was this >< close to getting in on the bet and saying 10 years ... I woulda won too, 10 years this past feb'.

Anyhow, back on subject. Don't take it personally, guys will be guys and they do weird things like this. Everything is a competition to some men *shrugs*. Next time it comes up just counter it with a look to your hubby and say "Don't you owe me dinner out now, the bet was frank would ask first"...... Turn the tables in your favor dear, make them realize how retarded they are being.

Bunkey1965 · 04-12-2008, 12:54 PM

Thats funny! I think Ill use that next time. Thanks!

Pix · 04-12-2008, 12:57 PM

No problem!! I am quite the card in our 'group of friends' and I am generally the one that calls people on there stupidity in interesting ways that gets everyone (even the offending idiot) laughing but it all makes them think about what they (or that person) did.

thunderstorm816 · 04-12-2008, 01:03 PM

Men can be pigs bunkey and do things that women will take offense to. I would take it with a grain of salt. Take that he said u look good as a compliment. Just mention to ur husband that u dont appreciate that his friends are making bets on u and leave it at that..just dont make a big deal out of it. Let it roll off ur shoulder. Given some time u are gonna be one hot momma.

Graycie · 04-12-2008, 07:58 PM

At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

isabelle290 · 04-12-2008, 08:03 PM

Just laugh it off! Men will be men. I think it is great they are talking about your weight loss! :biggrin2: Your hard work is paying off.

hopefulmom25 · 04-12-2008, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graycie

At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. I completely feel your pain though. I married my jerk boyfriend, and now he is my jerk husband. I love him to death but he says the meanest things sometimes...

soriminah · 04-13-2008, 07:05 AM

If men stopped saying stupid things they'd probably say all of about 10 words a day - I work with a football team and some of the crap that comes out of their mouths just amazes me - you just have to laugh and give it back to them - mostly their comments are harmless fun and they don't mean anything by it.

PennyLane · 04-13-2008, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graycie

At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

Oh man if that was a boyfriend of mine he'd have lost a whole lot more than just me. And because I can be a vindictive witch I'd have chosen his point of sensitivity and somehow publicly embarrassed him with it. I'd actually probably plan it for years. (I'm terrible sometimes). I'm extremely sensitive, though, especially with men and my weight and most especially with the two of them together.

I promise I'm actually a very sweet and kind person (too sweet and kind for my own good usually) 99.9% of the time but I guess that tiny .1% needs to be vicious to kind of balance me out? I don't know. All I know is that my "bad side" is a terrible place to be and the few people who've made it there have never gotten off of it.

Angie4b1g · 04-13-2008, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graycie

At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

You definitely don't need HIM in your life.

**Wheetsin** · 04-13-2008, 10:09 AM

Marketing 101 -- to hold most male interest, it has to be competition. Think of TV shows or networks that might not typically cater to men (style, gardening, food, etc.) and chances are that in the last 5 or so years, there has been a HUGE increase in competition-based shows to try and bring in the male viewers. It doesn't matter what the subject is, if it's a competition you can get the average guy to pay attention. Guys need a "team" to "root" for, or some sense of "winning" over someone else, etc.

So try to see it as their way of being interested, even if it's second-hand. They are guys, after all...

mmh498 · 04-13-2008, 10:26 AM

I am sorry the guys did that to you, but totally agree with the others that it was not really meant as a diss to you, but people bet on weird things. I don't think it was a "retarded" thing to do, as I have worked with special needs people for 28 years and have NEVER once known any of them to bet on anything or on purpose be rude to someone. It was not a nice thing to do, but maybe we should not throw out labels to degrade people, Lord knows we have had it done to us for years and we don't like it. That being said, I think turning the tables on the fellas like was suggested is a grand idea, one I will remember.

mstrina27 · 04-13-2008, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bunkey1965

I was at a friends house last night for dinner. They had tacos and I brought with me a bowl of Mexican Meatball soup. Just drank the broth part(wow a whole 1/2c maybe) That wasnt the problem. One of my husbands friends was saying I was looking good and asked me how much I have lost so far. I said 14 lbs. Then him and the husband of the friend I was visiting gave one another high 5 and said "You owe me, man!" They were making bets on my weightloss!. I found that really offensive. I just tried to talk about something else. Just need to vent. If I talk to my husband about it he'll say I am too sensitive.

Who told them that you had a procedure done in the first place.. I think that was rude if u didn't tell them and your husband told them and u didn't. It was rude for them to high five and say u owe me. What a looser...

Most of the time guys don't think before they act. What a guy... Most of their thinking level is still at age 16...

**Wheetsin** · 04-13-2008, 10:27 AM

Next time you have sex, call up your girlfriend and say "You owe me $10", then don't tell him what you had bet on.