I'm Wondering--did you TELL?

thughes113 · 06-30-2008, 01:58 PM

I've told very very few people I had the surgery done, actually those that I told knew about it before I had it. But, there are so many I have not told; my parents, my boss, my brothers, my husbands family, etc. Am I being ridiculous? I just don't want to deal with all the unwanted opinions. But I realize that eventually, with the weight loss, people probably will figure it out...how have you handled it?

kgloverii · 06-30-2008, 02:32 PM

If people mention my weight loss, I am more than happy to share, if it is appropriate... I don't mind sharing because this is my view: I want people to know they have options. Even if they don't have a weight problem, they may know someone who does. And they can share my success... I want EVERYONE to know there are options, and see the complete change in me, that has happened as a result.

ocbreeze4u · 06-30-2008, 02:55 PM

I have been open with everyone about my up coming surgery, including my family (and husband's family) and all of my friends. Keep in mind that I am the only fat one out of everyone that I know with the exception of one friend that is looking into it. In my circle, everyone has been very supportive so I am lucky.

brookepanda · 06-30-2008, 03:12 PM

I have yet to be banded...I have my consult coming up in July...
So far I've told my sister husband of course...and my mother just this past weekend....

she was so rude. Nothing new there.
I'm adopted.
Soooooo I'm the only fat person in my family....all the rest of my family are a bunch of twigs......

I tell my mom and the first thing out of her mouth was "well GOOD because you look like you're pregnant!" gee thanks mom.

She proceeded to tell me "you know I could be fat like you too but I'm not because I watch what I eat, and I take care of myself"

really???? So that'sssssssss how I get unfat!
Thanks for the tip!!!

needless to say....
I'm not telling anyone else.

Sandy Beach · 06-30-2008, 03:26 PM

I want only positive feed back...so I do not shair my wls. My hubby and daughter know bc I knew they would support me. Why put your neck under mean people boots. I keep negetive people out of my circle. I am much happier that way and I get better results in my weight loss

Vidahlia · 06-30-2008, 03:27 PM

I'm not banded yet, but I haven't told anyone that I'm even considering it except for my husband. I don't plan on telling anyone.

I don't want comments on how much I'm eating, or not eating, etc. I work in a small office and I know my co-worker would be watching everything I eat..

She already comments on my eating habits now...

auntlucy · 06-30-2008, 04:18 PM

I only told a handful of people, and I'm happy I've stuck to that. It's good to have a few people that you can talk to about it, but I just didn't want to deal with being watched like a hawk! Sure, people notice that I'm losing weight, and when they ask what I'm doing, I tell them that I'm eating small, healthy portions and exercising. All of that is true! They don't need to know that I also got a tool to help me! Go with your instincts....occasionally I feel guilty for not telling my grandparents, but then I remember how judgmental she can be (even thought I know she loves me).

LIGHT ER NYC · 06-30-2008, 04:50 PM

I am sooo happy about not sharing this outside of my supportive family and friends. This was my decision because I am not interested in any negative opinions. Others are continually asking how I am doing it and I reply " I eat less and exercise more". Thats it - end of story. I may decide to tell others as I approach my goal, but I do not feel the need to right now. It is a personal choice and I am sure you will make the one. Good Luck

rcoleband · 06-30-2008, 04:51 PM

I too have only told a handfull of people, my fiancee, my ex sister in-n-law, and an ex co-worker that I am still good friends with.

My mom, my 21 year old daughter and a host of others, I have not told yet. As with many others on here, I dont want the scrunity.

The good thing about me, is that I had jaw surgery two months ago, so I blame the weight loss on that (and it is true I did loose 30 lbs because I was on liquids only) any subsuquent weight loss, I will say that because of my jaw and not having food for 2 months, I have adopted a new way of eating. This will not be a lie, its just that I also have the help of my band which no one needs to know about.

Jachut · 06-30-2008, 05:04 PM

I told. Well those that are close to me, I told. I just dont see how I could have hidden it or why I would want to.

I dont broadcast it in public, but whenever someone asks me how I lost so much weight, I tell them, because I feel quite strongly that I dont want people thinking I'm superhuman and being down on themselves because they cant do what I did.

Nowadays, as time has gone by there's more and more people in my life that never knew me fat and I dont mention weight or surgery to them at all.

bas · 06-30-2008, 05:07 PM

The fewer people you tell, the fewer people that feel they have the right to come up to you and ask "how much weight have you lost now?"

I've only kept it to a handful of people and also plan to say "eating less and exercising more" if anyone is asking how I'm doing it, unless I feel the person is genuinely interested and might benefit from my story. :-)

Jachut · 06-30-2008, 05:10 PM

Oh, yes, that's really what I mean. I dont necessarily tell someone without a weight problem themselves if they ask me how I lost weight. But for other people struggling with their weight, well I remember on the very odd occasion that you'd see someone had actually lost a lot of weight, I'd feel simply terrible about myself thinking "why cant I do that".

So if somebody is obviously wanting to know because they also struggle, I tell them.

dj_bryan · 06-30-2008, 05:12 PM

I, too, have only told a handlful of people. Those I chose to tell were told because I knew they would be positive and helpful to me on my journey. Others were not told because I didn't want the stress of the negativity, or anyone trying to sabotage me. I have only been banded since last week (the 25th), so I reserve the right to change my mind as time moves on. :) or not.

Hastings · 06-30-2008, 05:12 PM

I told everyone. I've had nothing but support. I'm not the sort of person that anyone really gives a hard time to.

It was a few months ago and it's old news now.

I would never lie and I would never tell anyone with a weight issue that I just watched what I ate and exercised - knowing how hopeless I used to feel at that advise.

Enough weight issues are dirty little secrets.

djw6171 · 06-30-2008, 06:22 PM

I understand where you are coming from..I am just getting ready for my first consult but have had a horrible response from my husband. He says I am not disciplined (I work 2 jobs and go to school on top of having 3 kids..) and I should be able to do it on my own and I am lazy. The only other people I have told is my Mom and my boss. I don't plan on telling anyone else, it is not their business...