i feel like i'm being punished for losing weight...

2Flyguys · 11-12-2009, 04:12 PM

i LOVE LOVE my job and my boss!!!!!!!!! I work in the h.r. dept for aerospace...never ONCE did anyone complain about what i wore when i was over-weight...i wore dressy flip-flops everday for the 1st year i worked here...i dressed business casaual which is our dress code and considered myself to dress stylish even when i had my weight on....i was told i'm no longer allowed to wear flip-flops due to my co-workers constantly complaining...understandable...not appropiate for the workplace...but y was it okay when i was over-weight...my shorts r too short...my shorts r at my knee cap...too short???? my boss comes to me with a different complaint about what i have on at least once a month now...i know ur probably thinking she is jealous...i honestly don't think its her...she is not over-weight...she has a very nice athletic fit body...i hate to use the word "harrass" so i'll use "punished"...i will admit on my time i do dress differently...i am 30 years old and have a 7 year old son...so no matter what i don't walk around with all my bizness showing...but i'm thinking about complaining...and asking y no1 ever said a word about what i wore when i was overweight...the dress code has not changed...is there a dress code for people that r thin or have lost weight vs. those that r over-weight????????

happy2lose · 11-12-2009, 04:16 PM

I totally see your frustration. I really hate confrontation and if my boss month after month complained about something I was wearing or said co-workers are complaining I would be so bothered.

Ask for another copy of the dress code to be sure you fully understand what it is before you approach your boss about the complaints.

Such petty BS!

2Flyguys · 11-12-2009, 04:34 PM

the e-mail i sent my boss...i have not got a reponse back....

I really think you are a great boss; and I hold the up most respect for you. I don’t want you to think I am being disrespectful; or being rude to you in anyway. I appreciate how you have always complimented my “change” in a professional way; without making me feel the least bit uncomfortable. I feel like there has been a lot more focus on what I’m wearing since I’ve lost weight. The first year I worked here I wore flip-flops everyday. I was told not to wear flip-flops anymore; which I totally understand and have not wore them since. I wore flip-flops the first year I worked here and no one ever complained, it wasn’t until I lost weight that it became a problem. I wore a black pair of Capri pants, that where much shorter than the pants I have on today, no one ever complained. I wore under-shirts “tank-tops” under a lot of my tops when I was over-weight and no one complained. I will follow whatever rules need to be followed. I love working for this company, I love my position and I love working under you. I hope I don’t sound immature but I think it’s a little “unfair” that the way I’m dressing has become a problem for some of my co-workers, only since I’ve lost weight. I really hope this e-mail doesn’t upset you, and I really hope you don’t think I'm being rude or nasty, please don’t think I am.

Thank You

Carolann

elcee · 11-12-2009, 04:36 PM

I am surprised that you were ever allowed to wear flip flops to work. It would not be allowed here in Australia as it would be considered to be an OH & S (occupational health and safety ) issue.

2Flyguys · 11-12-2009, 04:43 PM

the flip-flops really arent the issue...the issue is why has the dress code suddenly changed without any notice since my weight - loss....u can't have a dress code that says if ur over-weight u can wear this...if u r thin u can wear this...if u where over-weight and become thin u can wear this...i'm in h.r.....yes i'm at the bottom of my deptmartment but regardless this is not okay...

Melinco · 11-12-2009, 04:51 PM

I wonder if perhaps they didn't say anything before was because they thought it was harder for you to find clothes and shoes that fit well, and now that you've lost weight, it should be easier to find appropriate clothes?

I don't know how much you've lost, but do you think that could be it?

elcee · 11-12-2009, 04:52 PM

I agree with you. It doesn't make sense.

I just had to comment re the flip flops as I was so surprised that you were allowed to wear them in a workplace.

Starting-overin-AZ · 11-12-2009, 04:58 PM

It doesn't make sense to me at all that you where allowed to wear them before and not now?? Maybe others are complaining about it to her because they are jealous? Haters are everywhere.

It so strange to me that you are going through this now that you are at your goal. I always had it in my head that the thinner you are, the nicer people are to you! I have also always felt that being a heavier woman in the work place, we didn't get the respect we deserved!

Now I am hearing a different side of things. Sucks that you are going through this. Especially in this economy!

I guess the only thing you can really do, is get your feelings out there, which is what you have done by sending that e-mail, and hope it makes her realize that you are feeling "picked on!"

Try and brush your shoulders off girlie! You are such an amazing person. You have worked so hard to achieve this weight loss, your family and friends know it, and at the end of the day... that is all that matters.

happy2lose · 11-12-2009, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starting-overin-AZ

It doesn't make sense to me at all that you where allowed to wear them before and not now?? Maybe others are complaining about it to her because they are jealous? Haters are everywhere.

It so strange to me that you are going through this now that you are at your goal. I always had it in my head that the thinner you are, the nicer people are to you! I have also always felt that being a heavier woman in the work place, we didn't get the respect we deserved!

Now I am hearing a different side of things. Sucks that you are going through this. Especially in this economy!

I guess the only thing you can really do, is get your feelings out there, which is what you have done by sending that e-mail, and hope it makes her realize that you are feeling "picked on!"

Try and brush your shoulders off girlie! You are such an amazing person. You have worked so hard to achieve this weight loss, your family and friends know it, and at the end of the day... that is all that matters.

EXACTLY! We are very proud of what you have accomplished. Now that you are so damn gorgeous the women in your workplace are jealous of you.

Jachut · 11-12-2009, 09:49 PM

You know, every photo I've seen of you (lots of work bathroom photos, lol) you've looked entirely lovely AND appropriate for work.

The flip flops issue, I cam understand although there's rubber thongs and them there's mule type shoes - in most worplaces you could were any sort of backless shoe with a low heel, just not rubber or beachy ones.

This is a strange issue. I think with work, if you love the job, them there's not much to be done but comply, but really the only things that are inappropriate are very short items, loads of cleavage showing, sleeveless singlet type tops and denim in many workplaces.

the trouble is sweetheart, you're so darn HOT now that everything you wear looks sexy.

I also think your email is well worded and appropriate and hopefully you'll get to have a chat about the issue. But you're entirely right, its not fair to be expected to dress like someone's grandma now that the shape under your clothes is sexy.

I've lost out on two jobs recently where I knew staff members at the school - I'm looking for graduate teachiing positions for next year. Both times, it was my look - it was intimidating - I look fit, thin and I guess I do look like what I am, upper middle class, privately educated. These schools were both in fairly low socioeconomic areas and both times it got back to me through friends that I looked like a rich bitch.

It really gets my goat that you make the most of yourself and in so doing you end up facing WAY more discrimination than when you were fat. I chime in on those whiney threads on here about how people feel they're treated badly when they're fat - my experience is when I was I was no threat to anyone, now suddenly everyone's scared I'm going to lose their husband to me becuase I'm the only 40 something around that still looks 30. And I'd love to say darling, I lost weight not my mind. Your beer bellied low income earning uncouth husband is safe from me, safe as he ever was (lol, only kidding).

TracyNYC · 11-12-2009, 10:12 PM

OMG Jachut, that is so funny. My friends have been teasing me about not letting me at their homes once I lose. They are all morbidly obese. I told them nicely that they have nothing to worry about!

btrieger · 11-12-2009, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2Flyguys

...is there a dress code for people that r thin or have lost weight vs. those that r over-weight????????

ABSOLUTELY! and I have never complained about it and never will. Management actually show sympathy (perhaps pity) for us because they know we either can't find good fitting, comfortable clothing or it is expensive.

I believe the same goes for footwear. I wear sneakers every day because my feet hurt from carrying this extra weight and I haven't had a complaint in 15 or so years. If any of my "fit" coworkers tried it, they would be pulled aside immediately.

mamalovell · 11-13-2009, 10:53 AM

So sorta same situtation for me. I always brought food to work for my boss when I was over weight. Then when I lost 130lbs my boss's wife decided that I couldn't bring food for him because that meant I wanted him. So it was OK when I was really fat but not OK now. What the hell first of all now that I am smaller I can't. She was so jealous of my weight loss she made him change assistants so I would no longer work with him plus he is not allowed to even talk to me. It's like WTF I am still same person just not as big. Get over yourself. But it really sucks and hurts. I lost a what I thought was a friend in my boss.

1SkinnyChick · 11-15-2009, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by btrieger

ABSOLUTELY! and I have never complained about it and never will. Management actually show sympathy (perhaps pity) for us because they know we either can't find good fitting, comfortable clothing or it is expensive.

I believe the same goes for footwear. I wear sneakers every day because my feet hurt from carrying this extra weight and I haven't had a complaint in 15 or so years. If any of my "fit" coworkers tried it, they would be pulled aside immediately.

In my experience, there truly is a dress-code between weight levels. I guess it goes with something else I've experienced, invisibleness.

I was approached by a manager from another dept notifying me one of my staff was inappropriately dressed, showing too much cleavage and she also had a slit in the back of her blouse. I went to view the shirt and damned if another staff member sitting with her didnt have on the exact same shirt, different color, but she was heavier. I had the other manager come over and point out who she was speaking of, she pointed out the thinner woman. I pretended to act as if she'd pointer out the larger woman and asked her over and addressed her. The other manager of course said I didn't mean her. I said I know. I was very bothered. It was clearly jealousy and she was not bothered at all by the plus-sized woman.

TxMomof4 · 11-15-2009, 10:12 PM

2Flyguys,

It always breaks my heart to hear when you having problems! You have accomplished an amazing feat, don't let haters bring you down. You are a smart lady, you know who is behind this. I also imagine that you are smart enough to know what you need to do to "fix" the problem. Just make sure it is legal, lol, JK!!

Keep your chin up and keep on truckin hot momma!

Deanna

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