miscarried with new pregnancy, diagnosed with pcos in february

bandster_1007 · 04-01-2008, 11:30 AM

hey, i recently found out i was pregnant about a month ago. yesterday the doctor did a vaginal ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. she is estimating that i have been pregnant for about 2.5 months but the baby died at 6 weeks. now i have to decide if i want to wait and let the baby pass or have a d & c. ( i know it is not really a baby, but it was a very real baby to me).

any advise from anyone that has gone through this would really help. i'm having a particularly hard time with it, i can't stop crying, and i don't want to get out of bed. it just doesn't seem real, and the fact that i'm walking around still pregnant i believe is causing me more mental torment. my doctor says natural is best, but i don't know if i can wait for that, it has already been several weeks and there has been no sign of starting to miscarry.

willbefine · 04-01-2008, 05:31 PM

In January of 2004, I was having what I thought was a really bad period. By the time I made it to the doctor, I was told that I was having a miscarriage. I understand what you are going though. I too have PCOS, and was told that it is the #1 cause of infertility, so I thought, what if this is my only chance. I I instead, choose to believe that somehow, God was just making my body ready for what was to come. In Feb. of 2004, we found out that we were pregnant again. At 5 months I was hospitalized for bleeding and put on bedrest for a week. At only 27 weeks I delivered. Hannah was in the hospital for 72 days, but is a perfectly healthy 2and 1/2 year old. Last April Fools day, I showed my husband the old pregnancy test and told him I was pregnant (he...he). 15 days later after a missed period I found out that I was (April Fools on ME!). I was able to carry to term(had to be on bedrest for almost 5 months and take hormone injections) but Zoey was born, healthy and happy weighing 6.3 pounds. I know it doesnt seem like it right now, but there is hope. PCOS is not a fertility death sentence. i told my Dr. that I was sueing her for mal-practice because she told me that it would be hard for me to conceive again! When I miscarried, afterwards, I suffered from postpartum, even though no baby was produced. My body didn't know that, and the chemicals produced were the same. I was able to miscarry naturally_ but i would follow the advice of your doctor and do whatever he or she thinks will better prepare your body for the baby OR BABIES you WILL have one day>

georgia girl · 04-02-2008, 11:19 PM

Bandster 1007, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't even imagine. I just wanted you know that I'm sorry and you are in my prayers. Take care of yourself and please keep us updated.

bandster_1007 · 04-03-2008, 08:21 AM

thank you guys. i am feeling better emotionally. i thought i was beginning to miscarry yesterday as i had really bad pelvic pressure in my back and awful back and shoulder pain, but i wasn't.

i wanted this baby so bad. my husband and i have a 7 year old together and the only way i'm going to get pregnant is if it happens by accident. so we were both super excited, but now dh says he wants to wait 3 or 4 years. although i agree with him, i don't want my children that far apart. it was going to be a struggle on us financially but we were going to make it. so, i think that is what makes me sad. dh is going to be being extra careful, and i'm not. i want a baby, i want to heal completely from this first, but i want a baby.

i am counting my blessings though, i have a step sister that delivered a 6 month old baby after she died. she knew her baby was going to die and just walked around every day waiting for it to happen. i would rather it happen this way than that. i also know that we have one child, and that is more than a lot of people. and having lost this one, it makes you remember how special your own child is, as it is easy to get caught up in the every day stuff.

i truly believe that god has a plan and everything happens for a reason, although i may not understand it now, i know something good will come of this.

i am depressed and withdrawn. granted it has only been a few days, but i don't want to go anywhere, and the fact that i'm walking around wondering when i'm going to start bleeding puts a great damper on things.

carol422 · 04-03-2008, 09:50 AM

Bandster 1007- I am truly sorry for your loss. Unfortunatly these things happen. I know, I too have lost and so has my daughter. I know that at this time you are feeling really bad, but please take my word for it with time it will get better. Take it one day at a time. Cry if you feel like it, you are hurting and you must grieve in the way that you know how. I will add you to my friend list so that if you feel like
chatting we can do it privately. I spent many hours on the phone with my daughter talking and crying on many nights. If I can help just a little bit, I will.