jaclyndw

I'm 19 years old - was diagnosed with PCOS at puberty. First, let me say that no one can truly understand this disease unless they have experienced it firsthand. I sympathize with all of you here! As a teen, it's been tough with the pressures of high school and college. Not looking as thin as your friends (and perhaps a little more masculine) has been fairly traumatic at times. You can't ride the rides at amusement parks, you can't shop with friends in the trendy shops, and you are constantly watching everything going into your mouth. While your friends grow and blossom into women, you seem to lag behind and grow into something not quite female and not male, while having all the respective female parts. My voice (even though I sing and love to speak publically) is deeper than voices of most women. I've had laser treatments for the hair growing on my face. I've been taking metformin for years. I've been overweight all my life and have loved food from the get-go.

So I was banded on the 22nd of July, 2008. I am four days post-op, and am feeling a kind of war going on between my body and my mind. Broth, sugar free popsicles, jello, and protein-infused beverages are getting old. As I don't return to college for about four weeks, I have to be around my family as they cook and sit down to meals. I might be acting overly emotional about all this, but I have to go in my bedroom while they eat. I've been pretty hungry, and i'm literally seeing spaghetti and burgers in my thoughts. I have also recently started my period, which has eluded me for years. I don't regret having the surgery at all - I know it's not going to be like this forever. I'm ready to be thin, but the road of recovery has been a hard road to travel and I realize it'll continue to be tough for the next six weeks or so. This is a very confusing time now, as i've truly started a new life. I can't use food as a means to cope with life's problems. I'm literally on an emotional rollercoaster. I get angry with my family - It feels like they're seemingly trying to tempt me. I'm very impatient, as i've always been ms. independent (so mom says) and it's hard to sit on the couch and take it easy when I could be at work or getting ready for school. I just felt like letting out my emotions in the form of a rant...not exactly a rant, more of like an account of what the past week has brought. Sorry for this being so long - maybe some of you can relate to this? I know that we'll all come out okay in the end - it's all about the journey. Thanks.

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marie715

Jaclyn, I'm so glad you posted your message. You're absolutely correct. The only people who understand PCOS are those of us living with it. You have a couple of really great things going for you. First, you were diagnosed with PCOS at such a young age. That is really going to benefit you. I didn't get diagnosed with PCOS until I was 35 yrs. old (I'm 48 now) and the only reason I got diagnosed with it then was I read an article in Good Housekeeping about it and noted that I had 9 out of the 10 symptoms of PCOS so I brought that to my Primary Care Physician's attention. You were able to get help so much earlier in life than I was.

And now you have the lap band to help you out. I am in the final stages of pre-ops and should have my insurance referral submitted within a couple of weeks.

We're here for you in this forum and also, you are going to be a big help to me and others in this forum. We need to stay in touch via this forum so that we know we have others going through what we are going through.

Post again in a couple of days and let us know how you're doing and what you are struggling with.

Regards,
Marie715

Sunwyse

Hi Jaclyn,

its perfectly normal that you will be going through all this, your body has been through a major trauma. It doesn't matter that we willing have surgery, to our body its still a trauma. Its going to need a little time to settle down, I know its hard but just be a little more patient with it.

As for your family, can you go for a walk or read a book in another room while they have dinner? You can let them know you want to have togetherness time with them still, but after they've finished their dinner would be best.

As for seeing food, well that's quite normal too. Are you seeing these foods as things you are being deprived of now? If so, can you turn it into a positive by choosing to say these are things you choose not to have right now? It may help lessen the need for them.

The hunger will be with you still for a bit, til you start getting the restriction. I've read that for some people this can be a big let down time, but please stick with it. Take it one day at a time. We are here for you.

Another thing to consider, did you use food as a way to shove emotions down? When we get to a point where we can't do that anymore then all that anger and sadness we've been trying to bury under food suddenly comes up. Try keeping a journal and writing it all down. Let yourself cry if you need to, or take it out on your pillow. Allow yourself to experience whatever it is you are feeling. You are perfectly entitled to have your feelings.

Michelle

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I lived my life like a rollercoaster ride so I needed the extra padding. Now I want to live it like a gentle boat ride.

smsmithart

Your story is very touching and I am here for u pm me...
I have pcos and I've been banded 5 months today it took a little while for my body to start letting go of the weight..and your will too...to keep my mind off food I stay out of the house and pamper myself more instead of havin lunch with friends we meet at the salon and have manicures or I just walk around the mall..I keep my hair done now all the time I used to just put it up in a ponytail ..youl be amazed at how much time u have from not eating every min of the day....anyways my point is do something different to nuture yourself besides eat that what a lot of us have been doing for years...good luck