Is your band failing you or Are you failing your band...(LONG)

CoachCher · 06-04-2007, 12:40 PM

Okay I’m going to be very real and honest here. I’m going to tell you about my year two band journey. But before I do that, let me tell you about year one. Year one I was very motivated and committed to my band journey. I watched what I ate (too an extent) and workout on a semi regular basis. Semi being the key word here, I was about as committed as I could be at the time. I mean come on, I had surgery and that was supposed to be the end of the road right. No additional commitment on my end, the surgery was going to do everything for me( yeah I know good thought process going into this journey). Now don’t get me wrong I did try to be the best band patient I could, considering I had to give up what I most wanted “FOOD”.

I consider my 1st year successful, I lost 60 pounds without a lot of effort on my part. It was great, the weight was coming off, I was discovering a new me. My life in general was going great on all accounts, and then something awful happened. I gave up on my band. I became complacent; I was enjoying my weight loss and the new found me.

So here we are now at my year two journey. I basically focused on every aspect of my life except for my weight loss. I didn’t work out for a year, I didn’t visit my surgeon, and I didn’t weigh myself. I went to school to become a “Certified Life Coach”, so I could help others taking the same journey I was taking. I put all of my focus into building a business, and I placed my weight loss on the back burner. So basically year two of my band journey can be considered a failure, no weight loss in year how is that possible?

I’ll tell you how it’s possible, I was happy with the new me. I liked the new clothes I was wearing, I liked being able to get around and do the things I wanted to do, I was enjoying life like I had never enjoyed life before. So I really don’t consider year two a failure I consider it a learning experience. I mean come on I didn’t lose one pound in a year’s time, however I didn’t gain one pound in a year’s time either. How many other diets/programs do you know of where you stay stable for that amount of time?

My light bulb moment came when I was coaching w/my coach (business coach of all coaches). She asked me what my goals were, and where I saw myself in 5 years. What came out of my mouth next was unexpected. I said I wanted to reach my weight loss goal (what do you mean you want to reach your weight loss goal, your happy with the new you, you don’t need to do anymore, your fine how you are now) then I proceeded to say I signed up for 120 pound weight loss and I’ve lost 60 of those pounds and now I want the rest to come off. By reaching this goal, I can be an inspiration to others and most importantly I will have accomplished something I set out to complete the first time in my whole life.

Being morbidly obese you have a built in excuse as to why you don’t achieve your goals. I’m too fat to exercise, it’s too hard, and you feel defeated before you even start whatever project is you want to work on. Well now I’m not morbidly obese; I don’t have the built in excuse. How can I inspire others to reach goal if I’m not at goal myself? Oh trust me; that one tiny little question opened up a flood gate of emotions, thoughts, and feelings I didn’t even know resided in me. So I really had to take a hard look at myself and re-evaluate my game plan. A plan is exactly what I came up with.

I made an appointment to go see my surgeon. When I got there I was weighed and yep sure enough the exact same weight I was from my last visit, 14 months earlier. Dr. V comes into the room, looks at my chart and too my surprise the last time I saw him was for a un-fill. I haven’t had a fill in over a year, are you kidding me? I was shocked I haven’t had a fill in over a year.

So Dr. V asked me what I wanted to do, I said give me a fill and let’s get this band doing what it was designed to do; help me lose weight. That was two months ago and 20 pounds later I can honestly say, “I was failing my band”. I became comfortable with the new me, I lost my focus on my goal, and I just became down right lazy in my weight loss efforts.

Now I am working out 6 days a week, eating good healthy food and really reaping the benefits by following my band rules. I know I’m a food addict always have been always will be. By accepting this fact, doesn’t mean I’m a terrible person; it means I’m a realistic person. I follow a food program and workout program 6 days a week and then on Saturday I give myself a “Free Day” I can eat what I want without guilt or regret.
I am a complete believer of everything in moderation, if you deprive yourself of everything you want, you only set yourself up for failure. I’m a complete choco-olic, I love me some chocolate and now with my plan I know on Saturday’s I can have it completely guilt free.

So I ask each of you to do what I did and ask yourself the hard question. “Is your band failing you or Are you failing your band?” If your not following up with your surgeon and getting the support you need, you are not going to see the results you want to see, should see and most of all deserve to see. If your not losing a minimum of 4 pounds a month you might need a fill or an un-fill. Yes we can be too tight and that serves no good purpose, you will not see weight loss being too tight. Keep in touch with surgeon, he/she wants to help you and they can’t help you if they don’t know what is going on.

I wish each one of you a successful, fun filled (no pun intended) band journey.

cfred · 06-04-2007, 02:10 PM

Thank you for this post... I just received my band on 5/10 :) and right now (almost 4 weeks PO) I am going through the "bandster he--"... reading this makes me realize that I can/will get through this but most importantly when I do, I need to keep doing what I'm doing.

I know you can reach your goal... You've already taken the first big step by telling everyone you need/want to do it.

Good luck to you!

legster · 06-04-2007, 03:05 PM

Thank you very much for taking the time to write this as a warning to us all. Let us know how you continue to do with your new attitude!

5jacks · 06-04-2007, 03:19 PM

Thanks so much for your story!! Everything you've said is exactly what I'm afraid I'll do in the future. Every diet I was ever on started great and after a good weight loss (but before goal!) I would settle in to my new body and quit dieting. I'm going to try and remember everything you've said so it doesn't happen to me!! Thanks again!

CoachCher · 06-04-2007, 03:42 PM

I want to say "Thank You" to all of you who have responded to my extremely raw confession.

I feel it's very important to share our journey with others so they don't feel like they are in this alone.

If I can help one person to avoid the mistakes I've made then I'm thrilled.

Again Thank you for your words of encouragement, they mean the world to me.

carol1951 · 06-04-2007, 04:19 PM

Thanks Cher for you honest feeling. Maybe you right about us failing our band. Maybe we do use the band failing us as an excuse not to do so well. It gave me somthing to think about. Again thanks for giving something new think about.
Carol

areellady · 06-04-2007, 04:27 PM

CoachCher,
I want to say thank you for posting this. I think a lot of times we expect to be fat then skinny and thats it. But as you have shown us, there is an in between time. We have to watch ourselves closely to make sure we dont become to comfortable in our "new" skin and think that we can then give up the journey. I know I didn't really realize what the band journey meant when I was reading before becoming banded. It really is a journey and we need to embrace it for all its worth so that one day each and every one of us can help someone else who is in the exact same spot. Pass it forward. Thats what I want to say to you, thank you, for passing this forward to all of us. Deanna

mdrai · 06-04-2007, 04:36 PM

Thank you for posting this!

I'm a new bander, just a week out!, and I am so appreciative of all the honesty on this board. I'm sure it wasn't easy to tell your story, but I do think that you have touched many with it.

Thank you!

mommy3boys · 06-04-2007, 07:17 PM

Thank you for sharing your story Cher. I'm in year 4, on January 25 it will be 5 years that I've had my band. Let me tell you from experience that you will go through both extremes in this journey. Year 1-2 I lost some weight. Years 2-3 actually gained weight. Year 4 to current I am at my lowest ever. The eating right and exercising has been so and so. I've had 4 fills and an unfill this year. Fill #4 was very tight and I was miserable for almost a year.

Currently I'm at 168 and my goal was 160 before I would have plastic surgery. I've decided to change it to 150-145 then have ps I'm only 5'3". The one thing that has kept me sane and somewhat consistent is the physical limitations due to the band, I would eat around it and I have in the past but have decided to work the system instead.

Congratulations on your year 2 journey and I hope that it will just get better from here on.

Ana

musicalmomma · 06-04-2007, 07:48 PM

Ya know why this is so inspiring to me? You didn't post this the moment you had the "ah-ha" moment. You had your "ah-ha" moment, acted on it, made changes, saw results and posted it two months later! So often, I'll get an "ah-ha" moment and blog about it almost immediately and once the uphoria of that moment passes, I slack off, letting myself and everyone I may have inspired down.

I think you'll be a TERRIFIC life coach!!!!! Thanks for sharing your story :)

CoachCher · 06-04-2007, 08:14 PM

You guys are amazing!! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and heart felt honesty.

I know this is a struggle for each one of us. I am a firm believer "Support" is key to be successful. I think some of us are afraid to ask for help, it's sad but true.

If your struggling please seek the appropriate help you need and get your butt to goal.

I have made a new commitment to myself to "Check" my emotions, and feelings every 30 days. If I'm not where I think I need to be, then I will make the adjustments I need to be sure I stay on track.

I have had so much response from this thread, it's obvious this is an issue. We all need to support each other and keep each other accountable not only to ourselves but to others as well.

I wish each and everyone of you nothing but the best on your journey.

Jachut · 06-04-2007, 09:39 PM

Thank you for a thoughtful, insightful and very relevant post! It really struck a chord with me.

I'm halfway through year 2. I do workout regularly, consistenly and hard as I have done from the start. I can hold my head up high there and say I could not have tried any harder and I am proud that others seem to take inspiration from my efforts. But I could do more, I've steadfastly refused to do the strenght training I know is necessary and run my butt off literally. I'm pulling back on my running now and adding in that strength work, I know its the only way to continue to change my body for the better.

Weightwise I'm the same. I'm honestly very happy. I like what I can wear. I'm realistic about the fact that I'm 39 and have had 3 babies and never had a "great" figure anyway, I do carry cellulite and lower body fat and I dont see anything other than plastic surgery will ever change that markedly. So I'm complacent. And I've been eating for maintenance.

I kind of wimped out on my goal of 70kg as 79 is a perfectly healthy, acceptable and attractive enough weight for me. However I think about it all the time and I swear, I *will* get motivated to get there. I know I wont look perfect but that's not the point.

In the last 2 weeks I"ve gone up 1lb. I've not been eating very well, too much chocolate! This is a life long commitment, you never WIN at this and you can never ever give up the struggle. It's mentally exhausting to think of managing your weihgt for the rest of your life but its honestly true, once a fat person, always a fat person. There is more to obesity than we understand at this point in time and physically losing the weight is about 1/1000th of the battle.

I know for sure if I didnt have a band I would be in a regaining phase right now.

TracyinKS · 06-04-2007, 09:52 PM

I don't think you failed your band in year two.......... I would view to maintain a solid weight for a year a utter TRIUMPH! (but that is my problem and will be my challenge and goal) I think it is truly wonderful that you have rekindled a new fire in your belly to go all the way! I applaud you and hopefully when I'm in year two I will be able to get to the same point you've come to.

LLSibley · 06-04-2007, 09:59 PM

Has anyone noticed how nice Tracy's chin is developing. You face is changing so much . How pretty you look. I reallylike your idea of posting a picture ever 10 to 20 pounds.

uniqueone · 06-04-2007, 10:10 PM

I think it's a great idea to post those headshots every 10-20 pounds as well! Tracy, you look awesome!!!!!!!!! You're a very pretty lady!