Why are YOU Fat?

Seems we all have so much in common for so many different reasons.. I grew up with two loving parents, the youngest of 8 kids. It deffinately wasn't a perfect childhood, but I truly have nothing to complain about, except that the only thing in abundance besides my mothers love was food. She and my dad both lived through the depression and went without a lot. My dad had acres of garden that he tended himself with a little help from some of us kids so there was never a shortage of fresh vegetables or fruit in summer and fall. We ate balanced meals finished off with homemade cookies, pies and other deserts. I was always active as a child, and not fat, but always taller and bigger then all the other girls till High School when I stopped growing up and started growing out.. My real weight issues started around my early 20's. Random sleeping habits, late night meals, partying.. I gained and lost the same 40 lbs reapeatedly till a few years after my daughter was born, then it wasn't so easy. I started having female problems and became less active. I had my son after months of bedrest at age 31 and everything went to hell after that. I went through a depression because of the situation with my step daughter and her problems, money problems, health issues and just general unhappiness. Anti depressants made me worse, cooking made me feel great. I had always loved to cook, but it became and obsession. I was stuck at 240, but dealing with it. After a much needed hysterectomy I gained another 47 lbs from HRT.. I have been trying to get this weight off since 06 and just can't seem to keep it off. My health is really taking a toll and I don't know the person I am becoming.

To summarize..
I was taught to clean my plate,,
I love food and eat almost anything,
I don't know how to eat just a little,
I do great during the day, but if I don't go to bed early I will pick for hours..
I don't eat when I'm sad or mad, but unconciously reward myself with food for many different reasons.

I have no control over what bad genes I am passing to my children, but want to teach them how to be healthy so they don't have to look forward to this later.

It seems like a lot of us were made to clean our plates. My Dad was very strick about it.

I was the thin one in the family so my mother emptied the other plates on to my plate to fatten me up when the others were finished. she always said "God bless her appetite". I was proud I could eat more than everyone.....and still be thin. Not after age 40 tho~

Yeah the nighttime eating...That's a thought. I started in my first marrage. It was stress I tell you! Eating at night calmed me down.It really is like a drug. I gained 100lbs in 6 months. I don't do it so much anymore. I eat in sceret now in the car when I'm by myself. That's still a problem.

I was always an slim, attractive girl when I was little. This story may sound silly, but from kindergarden through 4th grade I was very popular in school. Me and my two girlfriends were the "top dogs", and they were very beautiful, outgoing, well known, and popular. We played with the popular boys and got everything easy, life was great! But then the summer between 4th and 5th grades I guess I started to hit puberty or something, because I plumped up. I wasent really big or anything, but I was just a little chubby. When I came back to school in August to start the 5th grade I had gone from most popular to least. None of the 'cool' (shallow) kids wanted to talk to me anymore, they ostracised me. The only people who would talk to me were the least popular kids in my class (who were, as it turns out way nicer and smarter). From that moment on through high school it seemed I wasent wanted by anyone, and it was devestating to me. I had very low self-esteem and would eat because I was depressed about my weight after that. Looking back now, I know that I shouldent have been so vain and shallow, but I was 9 years old and didnt know any better. It seems insignificant, but I will always remember that moment, where it all headed south.

Since then, I have always been a very active girl who loves the outdoors and working out. I enjoy physical jobs, and have worked on turkey farms, sod farms, landscape companies, feed mills, cattle ranches, etc. Everyday for me is full of extreme physical labor (and I enjoy it!), and yet, I am still overweight.

Part of the problem is that I love to cook. I was raised by my great-grandmother who was a widowed farmer's wife with 13 kids. So she knew how to cook! She taught me to cook everything from scratch and in large quantities. So, while I literally never eat out, eat junk food, processed food, or sweets, I am still big from all the home cooked meals that I make. I LOVE to cook & eat, it makes me feel safe and happy, I just need to eat less!

I was always slim too. I was 110 pounds right up until I hit 22. Then over two years I gained over 100 pounds. I had no energy, was tired all the time and became a recluse. My sports suffered and my social life too. I hid away. The doctor couldn't give me any reason for my gaining so much weight. He just said "eat less, exercise more". At the end of the two years I was severely depressed. I had to move doctor and my new one immediately tested me for 'hypothyroidism'. My thyroxine levels were so low he was afraid of heart complications too. I had probably only gained a small amount of that initial weight due to my thyroid. It was the comfort eating and depression that really did it. I went from a size 8 to elasticated waists and my dad's jumpers. I had no idea I had ballooned to a size 20! My Mum finally persuaded me to go shopping for clothes. She had been so worried for my health mentally and physically but it is very hard to boost a depressive. I was so hard on her. I was so upset that I had to go to the 'fat shop' They measured me at a 24!!!. SO I headed to Marks and Spencer. I was a 20/22 in there. Nicer clothes too. it was devestating.

So it has been 11 years since. I have slowly gone up each year to my highest of 251. Going through the cycles of "well i am fat now .. I will put up with it.. and I love food so much I am not going to deprive myself. I deserve to eat what I want".. to "I am not going to a school reunion fat. I am not going to buy from "evans or lane bryant again'.

Since being banded 5 weeks ago I have lost almost 21 pounds and for the first time in YEARS am out of the 100kgs!!. This morning I got on the scale and weighed in at 99!!! hurrah!..

on with my life. For me the depression really lifted when I realised that the band was an option for me... and that I didn't have to fail at ANOTHER diet!!.. I am in such a happy place!!

Am so looking forward to being the new improved 'old' me!!!

I don't think that's sick! You have taken survival methods with you and incorporated them into your current life. Although I haven't had your experience I have similar feelings about being anxious if I feel like I may not have the opportunity to have whatever the food is before me. The end result is that I struggle with portion control.

I am curious about your disbanding due to erosion. I have a history of GERD. Does this pose a problem and lead to disbanding?

I've always been big.

Charles

Just because you were born heavy has nothing to do really with being fat now. Least I don't think so.

I wasn't born heavy, as a matter of fact I was just under 5lbs when I was born. I soon caught up with where I was supposed to be and then passed it. I was a chubby kid and a fat teenager. Fatter young woman and went on the pill and got even fatter. I lost 50 lbs and gained it back with my pregnancy. That was in '97/'98. I finally got tired of being fat and having the doctor tell me every time I went in for something that it was fat related. No matter what it was, it was always fat related. I finally got up the courage to ask her about bypass surgery. I about fainted when she said okay and referred me. Now I am on the right track with the help of my new tool. I fall off the wagon every now and then, especially during the "hell" period, but I got back on it today and I plan to stay on it for a long time!

wow, there's so many replies to this post! can't read them all. but why am i fat?

cause i am.

now my story: i weighed 10 lbs when i was born! was ok til about 5th grade, that's the first time that i knew i was bigger than average. i heard these girls talking about how they were like 100 lbs or something and i was like "omg i'm 125!" life was ok for me in spite of that. until high school. my mom has bi-polar but it was undiagnosed then. she took all of her pain out on me, and hid it from my dad. i was miserable. my mom called me a fat bitch. i don't think you can really hate yourself until something like that!! but i always went between 170 and 190 in high school and through 4 years afterward. then i got on to crystal meth for a couple of months. i was just under 160 when i quit screwing around with that and got back with my first bf. then we broke up and life was miserable again! i would work all day and only eat maybe two sandwiches in those 12 hrs. but i looked forward to getting off work and hitting up whatever fast food restaurant i was craving and ordering enough food for 3-4 people. i would watch tv and eat and omg, it was like a drug fix! i actually rock when i'm binge eating, like i'm in a rocking chair. you know how some people talk about "omg i just drove all the way home and don't remember! i hope i didn't run a red light!" well, for me it was like "omg i just ate 2 burgers, some nuggets and fries and i don't even remember! i hope i didn't eat someone's hair!"

2 years and over 100 lbs later, my mom has been diagnosed and treated, and our relationship is 100% better. i'm doing a whole lot better too, my life is on track, i've gotten myself out of debt, and have met the guy i'm probably going to marry. and now, because of my wonderful parents, i have been given the gift of Lap Band!

i don't know why i felt compelled to tell my story here. maybe it's because i read all of yours, or maybe it was just time to get it off of my chest. i've never told ANYONE just how much i used to eat. i got myself to a point where diet & excercise aren't going to be enough because they weren't when i weighed 190! and now i'm here, and i'm happy, and...yeah! LOL. the end?

Well done for telling your story. I think that there is something cathartic about putting it out there, that does us good, no matter what our story is. I know it was one of the first titles that drew my eye when I came to this board last October, but it was months before I posted in this thread. I circled around it a lot and came in to start, only to chicken out and leave. I thought about my answer for a long time before I felt comfortable enough to respond, even though I was spouting off left, right and centre in other threads.

It is an awesome question that, if taken seriously, cuts right to the heart of the matter and can be the inspiration for some deep reflections and self-insight.

i grew up something similar to that. I've always had enough to eat but my family believed in that saying eat ALL yourfood as well..but, look where it has gotten me..I'm 345 lbs and 19 years old and ready to make a change. I should not be this size AT ALL! I want to become 145..that's just great for me...it puts me at a healthy weight.

Because this is a safe place...

I have been inspired by all the stories I have read....I really don't know exactly why I got to this point other than I like to eat. I have always been active in sports and in High School was great at soccer. I was a size 18 when I graduated High School, but don't know how much I weighed and did not feel huge, just thick. Two years out of high school I know that I lost weight because I was poor, no money to eat regularly so I went to school, worked and jogged for fun. Two years after that I went up to a size 20/22 I still don't know how much I weighed. I was 220 the year before I got pregnant with my first child. I lost 60 of it by phentramin and exersise(starvation again, but I did not know better) I got pregnant in 1996 and weighed 175. I gained like 65lbs for my first child and never looked back.
My biggest addition is/was fast food. I would always, and I mean always order way too much. My latest has been McDonalds I would get between 5-10 chicken nuggets, a double cheese burger, large fries, and a large coke. As I would eat it I could just see my arteries clogging and would often think how awful it would be to keel over with that much food in me. \