Why are YOU Fat?

insubordination · 09-27-2007, 04:26 AM

Don't worry about it. If anyone deserves a helping hand/band, it's you. I don't even see it as such a big deal anymore, though countless would disagree with me, I'm sure.

I'm very glad you figured out what's wrong with you. I went though something similar thinking I was lazy etc. when I really had a thyroid problem and chronic infection stemming from wisdom teeth.

I really responded because your mother horrified me. Giving you white, nutrient-free food while spoiling your sister. The kind of thing you only see on Law & Order or something.

Anyway, you have had weight loss success before and you'll have it now only you'll be relieved because it will stay off.

BANDSTER45 · 09-27-2007, 01:48 PM

Thank you everyone for sharing! Very interesting. I'd have to say that I am fat because I too LOVE FOOD! I love the taste, tectures, smells, and the way differnt things go together. I love it ALL! I was also born with the tendancy to be over weight. I come from German and Dutch decent which means I'm fairly large boned. I'm the biggest in my family. My older brother just turned 50 and he is 5'10" wears 34" waist jeans, my sister is 10 years older, 56 and has never worn over a size 8 when she was 9 months pg. She is 5'2" and small boned. I am 5'5" and have always been chunky starting around puberty. My dad is 5'11" and has never worn over a 36" waist at his heaviest. My mother was 5'1" and never weighed below 190. She was obsessed with dieting, and had terrible insecurity problems with her weight. Always felt she was less than human because she was fat. Ashamed the whole bit. We had a close loving and model home life. Mom was a stay at home mom, dad worked, we all loved eachother and respected everyone and everything. We all had a blast at the dinner table all together and later we would have snacks/drinks in front of the TV watching old Westerns, War Movies, (Kirk Douglan, err err baby!) We went fishing during the summer with the Dagwood Sandwiches/chips/drinks/home made cookies etc. All our happyness together as a family involved FOOD! And really super good food. My mom was well known as being a GREAT cook as am I too. We all loved food. My mom and I would watch cooking show, (loved Julia Childs) and then my brother and I would cook and play like we were doing our own cooking show. He is quite the cook also. But I was the one who developed the weight problem.

There were times when I dieted and starved myself, (anerexia in high school and missed several months of school in the hospital) and was always able to keep my weight under control as far as the scales went. Got married and was in a controlling/verbally abusive relationship for 10 years. I got to my highest weight of 250, got divorced and lost down to 172, which on my frame, I was wearing men's 30 inch waist jeans. My hip bones stuck out. I stayed at that size by taking diet pills and exercising and dieting until I hurt my back in 2001. After steroid injections, other steroids, lack of exercise etc. I gained it all back plus some. I'd diet and lose 30 then gain it back. I was so sick and tired of being HUNGRY all the time, and not being able to have a cookie crumb once a week without gaining 5 pounds. When my freind told me about the band I first thought, "Oh, yeah, like it will work for me. LIke every other diet program out there did." But she did great and I sat down and figured that over the previous 5 years, I had spent the same amount of money on fad stuff that didn't work and only made me sick, that I decided what the hell. I AM SO GLAD I DID! I can't remember what a hunger pain feels like, and I know that once the weight is off, IT AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK! No more yo yo. That's the best thing. I still love food, just in smaller amounts. But I can have a bite or two of what ever I want and don't have to feel GUILTY! All of us fat people have dealt with the GUILT with every bite we take. That guilt has been lifted from us along with the deprevation of dieting. Even if I can only have one or two bites of dessert, it's much more wonderful and tasty without the guilt. I can enjoy it completely which leaves me more satisfied.

So to say why I"m fat?? 1) I was born with the tendancy, 2) I LOVE FOOD, 3) food is my emotions, food makes me happy and happy times demand food, sad times demand food too 4) I was a woofer, eating fast and LOTS of food, 5) hunger/guilt/shame/frustration and all the other bull we put our minds to.

Basically, I think what makes us fat is that it's just how we are! That's how we were born and it's who we are. Even after losing tons of weight, in our minds, we will still see ourselves as those fat people. We will always think and feel like a fat person does because that's who we are.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. tee hee

circa · 09-27-2007, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by insubordination

Don't worry about it. If anyone deserves a helping hand/band, it's you. I don't even see it as such a big deal anymore, though countless would disagree with me, I'm sure.

I'm very glad you figured out what's wrong with you. I went though something similar thinking I was lazy etc. when I really had a thyroid problem and chronic infection stemming from wisdom teeth.

I really responded because your mother horrified me. Giving you white, nutrient-free food while spoiling your sister. The kind of thing you only see on Law & Order or something.

Anyway, you have had weight loss success before and you'll have it now only you'll be relieved because it will stay off.

Thanks - I mean, I forgave her a long time ago, I still haven't forgotten though. It was imperative for me to forgive her in order for me to get over the issues I had with it. But I don't hide it. Its what happened and its part of what made me who I am, both good and bad.
Sometimes I think that if I could just get my medication switched (I'm working on it now), I'll be able to just get the energy to get rid of the weight...but as they said at the clinic, its going to be twice as hard for me to muster the energy because not only am I carrying all the extra weight, but because of the illness and having to be so sedentary, I don't have much for muscle anymore - which is a valid point. But if I can get the medication switched and do this myself, I'd love to. But if not, then I will although begrudgingly haha ask for help :)

100lbsforsale · 09-28-2007, 01:37 AM

hmm, I'm fat because..I like to eat! I love food, I love cakes, cookies and pizza. It comforts me, it makes me happy..until the heartburn kicks in. Actually I eat because like alot of people here I was raised in the 'clean your plate' club. My dad grew up in the Depression so food on your plate was a no no. Especially meat! Even so my whole life he constantly talked about my weight. He was overweight in a family of normal sized people, so he got criticized constantly from them so I guess it he was trying to head off what happened to him. My uncle and aunt thought it was their duty to point out my weight everytime they'd see me. My aunt would go on and on about the cute clothes I could wear if only....Like I didn't know! In high school I discovered Dexa-trim. I literally ate one hard-boiled egg a day along with a gallon of diet coke and hot air popcorn if I just couldn't stand the hunger pains. I got down to 126 lbs which is hip bone jutting skinny on my 5'8" frame..but my uncle said I was still too big! My dad said I was too skinny and was afraid I was making myself throw up. Ha! like I ever had anything in my stomach to throw up! Time goes on ..heaven forbid I EAT and I gained weight. I endured the 'aren't you getting a little chubby again?' from my dad. So off to Nutri-system I went. Lots of bucks later hey I was skinny again! I got my first job out of college and whoa..I got hit on by just about every male in the plant. Married, single didn't make a difference. If I talked to/laughed with a man, I had to be sleeping with them. Finally I just got sick of all the innuendos and come-ons and started to purposely put on weight. Nobody cared that I was damn good at my job, they just figured I'd slept my way there. Once the weight started to pile on, the come-ons ceased and I could do my job. Then I got married, had some female troubles that required steroids and the ballooning started again. I had 3 kids, quit my job, found myself in the kitchen all day long.. My dad was still in the background riding me about my weight..so when he died, I just started to EAT. I didn't have to worry about him criticizing me every time he saw me. Hence, here I am today. Whose fault is it? mine. I like to eat and I remember telling myself 'life is too short to starve'. Well life is too short period. I'd rather be here than underground because I couldn't be bothered to take care of myself. Thats why I'm fat.

dream'n2bthin · 09-29-2007, 10:04 PM

I'm fat because of lack of will power. For reasons unknow to me, I can't seem to stick to any diet. Some how I always lose about 20lbs and then I give up. I'm hoping all this will change once I get banded.

insubordination · 09-30-2007, 08:02 AM

Quote:

I'm fat because of lack of will power.

That's cool you can admit it if that's the case. I wonder though sometimes, why do we need to exercise extreme willpower when others don't and simply put their forks down when they're done? Is there something confused in our brains? I know my grandmother really has to discipline herself to stop eating and stick to small portions to maintain her weight, yet my bandless friend just naturally eats bandster-sized portions and never seems to want more after a certain point. It's a mystery.

LilMissDiva · 10-01-2007, 10:27 AM

I'm fat because I eat too much. I just love food, and especially at dinner I just can't stop! That's why I'm going to be banded, I need to stop sooner rather than too late. And during woman's day - oh goodness. The Doritos, well, I can go through probably 3 bags in one week!! Absolutely true story. :(

I'm great when it comes to exercising and working out. I do it almost every day (6 days a week avg.) for 1 hour but no less than 30 mins.

suzannm · 10-01-2007, 04:56 PM

OMG.

Breakfast: Chick Fila - 1 meal, + 2 breakfast sandwiches or Grandy's all you can eat breakfast where I'd put away at least 2lbs of bacon. I'd have 4 large glasses of sweet tea to drink.

Lunch: McDonalds double quarter pounder with cheese, value sized fries and coke. A parfait, a salad with dressing.

Dinner: KFC (4-5 pieces), mashed potatoes, potato wedges, gravy, buscuits with butter and jam or honey, large coke.

THEN....when everyone would go to sleep....I'd get up and eat MORE of the KFC that was left over. I'd never get sick. I could eat until I was just tired of taking bites. There was no 'off' switch in my stomach to say I was full. I could eat and eat until I could no longer chew. I'd eat like this nearly every day. HUGE, HUGE meals. Incredible amounts of calories.

Why did I do this???? I had no sensation of being full. I could literally eat until I couldn't chew anymore and never feel full.

With my band, I can stop because I get a sensation of feeling FULL. I don't go past it. It's got to be something physical related to where the band. Pressure on the vagus nerve perhaps? I don't know.

valstar · 10-07-2007, 05:12 PM

This is great topic. I am overwhelmed by all I've read. I agree you are all brave and so many of you have bits and pieces of me in your story that I am feeling a little choked up. I too have replaced my food obsession with these boards. Even when I don't post, I am reading a couple of times a day.
My family called me fat since 4th or 5th grade. That certainly didn't help me. My father once told me he would give me 100.00 if I lost 20lbs. At the time, I weighed 150 lbs. I was in 7th grade. I couldn't do it. I felt like a loser, all the time. I was smart, corny and fat. I had 1 good friend who was a toothpick! My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade and I think I used food as a comfort and also as something I had control over. I began to love food. I loved sweets (the sweeter the better) and I loved fried foods. and Breads!!! I made sandwiches out of everything even spaghetti! I never felt full until I was stuffed. I ate/eat when I am bored, lonely, feeling down and when tired. Even with the band, I have to go to my room and get in the bed and just refuse to get up and go to the kitchen because I will eat until I fall asleep. Drinks are another reson I am fat. Every one in my family drank from 32oz cups which we would refill all night - Iced tea, lemonade, Pepsi, never water. I think the first few pounds I lost was when I stopped drinking while I ate and replacing the sugary drinks with water. I still obsess over food and what's the next meal I just feel like the band has given me more control (there's that word again). I can say no and stop myself before I over do it. I am just starting this journey but I know I feel better already. I have done some counseling and will probably have to do some more. I don't want to replace one addiciton with another even if it is these boards. Although right now I feel like they are helping to keep me focused and sane.
Good luck all and thank you for sharing.

Val

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wCZVPPW/]

Starting weight 319 7/5/07
surgery weight 314 8/30/07
current weight 289 9/28/07

DynamoMini · 10-07-2007, 05:30 PM

valstar - I know just how it feels to "think" about being fat all my life. No one could ever offer me an incentive that worked to lose weight, which I have done at various times of my life, with varied amounts of success. It is a lot more that the physical side of things for me. This is a psychological, painful journey. I don't release the weight unless I release the thought pattern that put it there. Thank God for therapy, acupunture and at last I am working out 5 times a week. Most people, with this much intervention would be thin, but I am self defeating. It is so mental/emotional for me. It really isn't about the food. The food never really made me feel better, I just chose it as the vehicle to numb out. But I am not numb any more, nor can I stuff the way I used to, so I am here to face my music and be myself. Best wishes to you.
Michelle

insubordination · 10-07-2007, 08:07 PM

You two sound like me. The problem really does run deep and it's not about just putting food in your mouth. I read an interesting article (not online) about how yoga and tai chi and the like can help people with addictions. I noticed my gym has a tai chi class on Tuesdays so I'm going to go this week.

Ms. NYC · 10-12-2007, 04:48 PM

This is a question that I ask myself all the time. But it is more like "what have you done to yourself"?

When I was a child I was a model and a winning beauty pagents. But my childhood was very transiant...I am not a military kid, Mom just couldn't get it together enough to keep a stable home ...but around 13 my Mom got on drugs and I started gaining weight. I have gotten bigger every year since I was 13. Never facing "the problem". At this point I don;t even know what "the problem" is.

oh yeah....There was one stint on Weight Watcher where I lost 80lbs and gained back 100.

My Mom moved in with me in my Jounior year of college and has never left. I am 35 now. But now she mentally ill and sometime all I want to do is eat so I'll get sleepy so I don't have to deal with the fact that I am not married, no children and living with a mentally unstable and verbally and sometimes physically abusive person (Mom).

So I still don't know why I am fat.

insubordination · 10-12-2007, 08:31 PM

Well it's not hard to find the reason there Ms NYC. While it's admirable that you look after your mother, it's terrible that you've given up your life. You must feel trapped. Do you think it's a possibility that you could leave her. No one should be subjected to verbal and physical abuse. Have you talked to any one about this?

BJean · 10-15-2007, 10:33 AM

Ms. NYC: Sometimes I eat because I CAN. It's a control thing. No one can tell me what I have to eat or can't eat. It's something that I and I alone control. And SCREW THEM!!!

Now after struggling for years and after having gone through so much - so many diets, psychological counseling, nutritional counseling, starvation, medications, shots, and now the lap band, I think all these psychological issues we're talking about here are as a result of our obesity, not the other way around. I think that we "catch" the condition of overeating, just like anorexic people "catch" anorexia.

We're spinning out of control just like the anorexic person. We're slowly killing ourselves, just like they are. But it's more due to pysiological reasons than psychological ones. And it's very, very complicated. The medical profession has a few clues, but no real understanding or knowledge of what's happening to us. They're getting closer, but the research is done on how to treat the symptom, not understanding the cure - just like so many other physical conditions and diseases. The money for them is in the treatment, not the cure!

So I don't think we should beat ourselves up so much. I don't think we should blame others or even food for how we are. I wish I had a good answer to insert here, but I don't. I've had the band for a year and I am only about 35 lbs. lighter than when I started. I am seriously considering hypnotherapy because I have found myself eating sweets out of control again instead of the much more difficult to eat, nutritious food.

I don't think we're fat because of how much we eat. I think we're fat because of what we eat. Even for those of us to believe we're just into massive a quantities instead of the wrong stuff, I think we're kidding ourselves. If we were only eating really nutritious foods, we would only be able to eat just so many veggies and complex carbs. I just don't think they would make us fat. We're fat because of our food choices brought on because we have a very complex and destructive psysiological condition. One that nobody really understands or has a clue how to cure.

BJean · 10-15-2007, 10:37 AM

Please excuse the mispelled words: psychological and physiological... I got in a hurry and didn't re-read my post until after I hit "Reply" --- dang! The program won't let me edit anymore. So much for credibility when one is putting forth one's blindingly brilliant revelation!