Why are YOU Fat?

bkgrandma · 11-17-2006, 06:45 PM

Well this could be a book but I'll make it short. I'm soon to be 61 years old and as long as I can remember (maybe age 3-4) I've always been bigger than I should be. As a pre-teen I began to have this awesome obsession to sweets. Back then we were always eating southern style, always fried and of course desserts everyday even though we were very poor my Mom knew how to cook. My Dad insisted on dessert. So, basically I got hooked big time. I would start taking seconds, thirds, then my Dad would start his yelling for me to get out of the fridge and it hurt my feelings so bad because he'd be sitting on the couch eating his cake, ice cream, pies, whatever so I started my sneaking of sweets whenever I could and it's still going on. I could care less about any type of nutritional food, take it or leave it. At the age of 30 this mental illness came along, starting having anxiety attacks, had a nervous breakdown (Mom had the same) started with the different shrinks, all different kinds of medications, I refused to be "institutionalized" so just lived for over 20 years a total basket case and eating the goodies always helped. All through my childhood I was put down, made fun of, laughed at, yelled at. I knew my Dad was ashamed of me, he died with me thinking that. My grandmother asked my husband the first time he met her "How can you love a fat ol' thing like her". I've put up with shrinks putting me down because I was "fat", you could be slim if you wanted to, doctors screaming at me, you could be slim if you wanted to, I've hated myself all my life, I've wasted all of my life thinking of FAT, sneaking sweets, from who I have no idea, my husband of 43 years who is wonderful knows that I sneak sweets so I guess I'm still a little girl inside. I was banded in September of 2005 and still haven't lost any weight. Why!!!! I can still eat all the sweets I can get my hands on. They go down so much better than food. If their not in the house I'll go buy something, I've gotten candy out of the bulk food areas of the grocery store and ate all the candy before the time to check out so I guess I'm a thief also. As of last week my Lap Band doctor wants me to see ANOTHER shrink to see what can be done about this addiction and thats exactly what it is, like being hooked on drugs or alcohol. I stopped smoking years ago through hypnotism but it didn't work for sweets, tried therapist after therapist, bio feedback, hospital liquid diets, everything I've ever known and it's always back to the sweets. I don't want to do what the doctor wants me to but I did agree and if this doesn't work then I quit! I told him that, I feel totally helpless and ashamed of myself. I'm my own worst enemy. Now all I want to do is forget about what I put in my mouth and just let myself be the kind of person the good Lord created me to be. I'm so tired of hating myself, everyone I know loves me except me. Linda

chameleon · 11-18-2006, 08:36 PM

oh dear bk...please doon't give up!!! You sound so despondent. What if you talk to the Dr. about a bypass. I don't know if thats the answer but maybe it would work since it is malabsorptive as well as restrictive and if you can't control your intake at least you won't get all of the calories. I do agree that the sweets addiction has got to be a psychological thing and that you should continue counseling by definately find a therapist who is understanding and who you are comfortable with. You may not like what they have to say but they ought to be saying it with respect to you as a patient.
Good luck and God Bless YOU.
Donna

Turner24 · 11-20-2006, 04:28 PM

Okay, I guess we all have our reasons. I am a certified emotional eater!:huytsao And trust me; I'm emotional!

I too am usually good all day, but when I put the kids to bed and turn on the TV.... Look out! I think about all my worries :faint: and then I eat. Anything. Even things I don't really like just to eat! It has been much better post band. Cause even when I eat a cookie, its just one! not the bag. I want everyone to know we are so in this together and I appreciate being able to come and bear my soul with the rest of you:nervous . This is what helps me know I will someday be on the 100lb lost list:clap2: .

Pam
banded 10/30/06
fill 12/4/06

mypov · 11-21-2006, 09:26 AM

Well I've known about this thread for quite awhile, but only now do I feel I can say what has contributed to my weight problems.

1. Depression. It runs in the family, but I believe I had it from a very young age. My mom says that she knew I was sad a lot when I was a child but at that time it wasn't believed children could actually HAVE depression. I wasn't diagnosed until age 16 and in those years of depression going untreated I found food was a source of comfort.

2. Big family, little money. My mom cooked high fat, high calorie casseroles and did lots and lots of baking to feed all of us kids. I remember at dinner time as I watched the casserole dish empty I'd start to feel panicky thinking I gotta hurry if I wanted seconds. Sometimes I still feel this panicky feeling even when I KNOW as an adult I could go out and get myself more of whatever it was. WEIRD.

3. Family history. My dad was especially overweight. After dinner he'd usually sit down with a half gallon of ice cream and I remember I'd always ask for some and he'd say "I've had a long day, I BOUGHT this ice cream, when you are a grown up YOU can have your own ice cream." So I do, a lot, and I too reward myself with it after difficulties. (side note: my dad got control at about age 50 and lost 150 lbs and has kept it off 5 years!!!)

4. PCOS. I ate myself right into what I believe triggered my PCOS, insulin resistance. Since the onset, I have gained an additional 90 lbs. I am very determined to never hit 300, and since I've been trying harder since setting a for-sure surgery date, I have very SLOWLY been going down.

Those are the main reasons, been there are many many other reasons I'm sure......

chechnya · 11-26-2006, 11:44 PM

I'm a big fan of fast food. I haven't been employed in a long time so being able to get jack in the box or McDonalds was way too easy. I'm also a habitual snacker. Those plus zero exercise don't mix and is why im fat.

xlil_misfitx · 11-27-2006, 05:29 AM

I have tons of reasons why im fat:

my whole family is obese. my 3 older brothers are all over 300lbs and my daddy is so big he has to waddle (just as examples). it goes farther back than that but on the whole... we're big.

i have my grandmas sweet tooth. i cant helo it. i love sweets. esp. sour patch kids.

my mom loathes cooking so since i was little its always been fast food. mcdonalds especally. so even growing up its always been fatty non healthy food. now away at college its a bit better since our diner has "home made" meals, but the junk food habit still rears its ugly head.

i have horrible joints and a bad heart. i cant do cardio to lose weight since my heart and joints are bad. its a horrible cycle. theyre bad because of my weight, but i cant lose weight since theyre bad.

and i just have this thing about eating out of boredom :hungry:

Altalomaguy · 12-01-2006, 06:40 AM

Growing up I was always eating when I felt bad, and since a very young age I was always on the chubby side. I didn't socialize with other children well and my weight and height was something that made me a target.

Even though I was a very active child the more I felt like an outcast the more I avoided going outside and doing anything. I self medicated with bad food choices. I would hide food wrappers of the stuff I had eaten in the couch, in my bed, and any other place.

My worst moments were when I was in 4-6th grade or so. My mom would pick me up from school and take me to her job. She was a manager of a local airport. In the small lobby someone had set up a snack basket where you could place a dollar and take out one snack item. Downstairs was a storage room where they kept the boxes of snacks for restocking. I would visibly put a dollar in and then say that they were out of what I wanted. I'd then go downstairs and fill up my socks and shoes with candy and other snacks to smuggle out. Then I would find quiet place and stuff my face until the pain of being a social outcast with no friends(when I say no, I mean ZERO) would go away. I felt so bad that the shame of being caught stealing was worth the risk to stifle the emotional pain for a little while.

Eventually I stopped exercise of any kind with others due to embarassment about my body. PE was always a total mess. I devoted all of my free time to escapism with books and video games refusing to have anything to do with highschool and when I had failed enough classes so that graduation was imposible my school counsiler signed me up to take the "California High School Proficiancy Exam" which is like a GED but is taken before highschool is over. I passed it with ease.(which pissed off the school and my parents because I obviously knew what I needed to know in school but I refused to participate in any way)

After leaving highschool at 16 the next 2-3 years were me attending college for a couple classes a semester and spending the rest of my time reading, playing video games, and eating poorly. Already overweight I ballooned up to 400 pounds and have been stuck between 350 and 400 in my diet and exercise attempts since then. So thats why I'm fat.

Riley O'Riley · 12-01-2006, 09:54 PM

My problem is I'm a stress eater. I have always been able to semi-manage my weight, but over the past 6 years have gained about 75 lbs. I remarried, sold my home, bought another, changed jobs a couple of times, nursed my daddy through lung/brain cancer and then my husband through recovery from a massive heart attack. Throw in stressful jobs and teenagers and viola' that's how I ended up at 299 lbs. I have been working on new ways to handle the stress, but today, for example, I had a really bad day at work. I walked through the front door and the next thing I knew I had a bag of doritos in my hand. I wanted to just eat and eat to get to that numb stage, you know? For honesty sake I will confess that I took one chip and licked it till it was soggy. How's that for an issue? At least I didn't give in and eat them. I'd have to say that today was the hardest day since I started my band journey. Also, I have to admit I'm looking forward to being able to eat some "mushies" as I'm getting pretty bored with broth and blended soup and sometimes my stomach really rumbles with hunger....which for me is a new sensation!

flabuless · 12-08-2006, 08:23 PM

I have always been big...cause I am big boned...(roll eyes) and love my food! However I became morbidly obese because of a condition called hypothyroidism...basically when I eat it gets stored on my body, in preparation for a famine... instead of burning up in energy... basically I got tired all the time, and didn't have energy for anything.. Sat on the couch eating basically...fortunately I was diagnosed 3 years ago as having it and have been on medication every since...and will be on medication for it for the rest of my life...so the Lap Band is remove the lbs of lard that I have put on as a result.

amillerjones · 12-14-2006, 11:41 AM

Yeah, I am having a little difficulty turning down food too. I have been chewing up things that I like then spitting them out instead of swallowing them just to savor the flavor. I love food and this has been a little difficult as a result. I am just glad that the band is there to help me feel full.

amillerjones · 12-14-2006, 11:45 AM

I know the reasons that I am fat. I read a previous post about putting the kids to bed and then eating. That is exactly what I do. My husband is gone for days at a time as an over the road truck driver and I eat and eat. I eat within reason all day long until the kids go to bed. Then, I turn on the tv and eat and eat.
The band is a great tool, but I am really missing the food. I have gone so far as to chew up food in my mouth and spit it out instead of swallowing it just so I can savor the flavor. It has only been a week during my surgery and I have already cheated. I had a chocolate today. I was surprised that I didn't get sick or anything like they warn. It was delicious and chocolate is my weakness.

Bret · 12-17-2006, 11:11 PM

I've asked myself this question many times in my life and I've developed a bunch of stock answers that lays the blame for my weight everywhere but where it belongs....with me, (Slow metabolism, too busy to eat right, etc.). Bottom line is I ate the wrong food in huge quantities and at the wrong times. At my heavyest I was 395 lbs. My band was just installed 6 days ago and I am just getting to the being hungry stage. This morning I was 375 lbs.

It took me many years to get to where I was so I expect it will take some time to get back to where I want to be.

Eventually, I'd like to get to the 200 lb. range but my short term goal is to be able to fly without asking for a seatbelt extension.

Thanks to all of you who have written to this thread before me. You are all inspirational.

Thanks,
Bret

demsvmejm · 12-18-2006, 03:34 PM

I've been overweight ever since elementary school, not fat, but probably 10-15 lbs. heavier than everyone else. I suppose I would need a few years of counciling to determine the exact reason I over-eat. I love food. I can remember when I was little and after school at the babysitters, sneeking into the pantry and eating chocolate chips out of the bag. I don't remember eating bkft before school, school lunch was normal portions and then when we got home dad would have a huge meal, I would eat seconds and thirds. My g'ma always sent over homemade sweets. I didn't discover fast food until High school. It's as if I never get full. I can eat a normal size meal, while cleaning up I finish the leftovers (why let them go to waste?) 30 minutes later I can eat again and continue to eat on and off all night if I let myself. 99% of the time I'm not even conscience of what I'm doing or what I'm eating.
My mom had the stomach stapling around 22 yrs ago, she still has weight issues. Obesity runs in the family on my dads side.
I eat when I'm happy, sad, frustrated. I also smoke and this is another bad habit I have to quit....quit date is 12/22/06 then Dr. will give me a surgery date after not smoking for 2 months So I'm hoping for March!

chubbola · 12-30-2006, 09:46 PM

i come from a long line of fatties--not to mention i LOVE food! i've actually hoped to have hypothyroidism or something to give me a reason for my insanity!
i eat my kids' leftovers cuz i don't want to waste, i'll eat the same food three times a day cuz i don't want the leftovers to be thrown away, i'm basically nuts!
i wake up every morning on a diet, and by noon i'm dreaming about what i can shove in my mouth!
phentermine is just tic tacs to me anymore!
i have a love/hate relationship going on with my ww leader!
this can't be used against me when i get my psych eval, right?! lol

good luck to all!

Artale NY · 01-04-2007, 06:09 PM

Great thread !

For me its been a combination of things.
Married life and taking care of children more
than myself and night time eating along
with very poor portion control did me in.

As a youngster up to about 28 yrs old I was pretty
much at my normal weight for my height 5'10".
Through middle school and up through college
I was very athletic baseball, basketball football.
Weight lifting cycling I really enjoyed the runners
high and was even into yoga but after marriage (30)
my activity level dropped and the weight started
gaining and gaining and with some depresive
things going on at my business with my partner
and the wife and kids I felt like I didnt care anymore
about me all though I didnt admit it to myself.
THe next thing I knew 10 years of marriage and I was
300 lbs from 215 lbs and than after another 6 years
I was at 385 lbs wow !! near 400 lbs. I realized today
I eat wrong, wrong foods, night eating, huge portions
and eat because I loved food and nothing seemed to
slow me down. After getting the Band it stopped
me from over eating and now I chew slow and my food
choices are better and since July 06 I lost near 60 lbs
and I weigh in at 330 lbs so every day I weigh myself
to remind myself that a 200lb man can easily become
a 400 lb man. That will never happen to me again.
I am fat because I let myself become fat and today
I am headed toward my normal weight because I
recognize that this is what I want and the band
is there to assist in the process.

I wish all of you the best in your private quest to
regain your health!