Why are YOU Fat?

KariK · 09-14-2006, 09:52 PM

I was always fit until after HS, when I moved out of my parents home I started gaining weight.

I had a really troubled relationship with my mother. She royally enjoyed stomping on my self-esteem. She would mock my body shape, my integrity, my looks, my sexual orientation.. you name it she'd find a way to make me feel like Sh*t. She loved to gossip about me with her friends, always making herself sound like June Cleaver. The one thing that my mom did good though was she was and still is a fabulous cook. There was always something delicious to eat. We would have 5 course meals everyday. Desserts that would rival any bakery. The only time she wasn't screaming at me was when she was eating, eating made her happy. So when I met my husband, I didn't want to be an ass like my mother, so I ate alot.. so I would always be happy. I thought food made women happy and I wanted to be a happy woman.

Well my husband thought he'd met the perfect woman, I was in great shape, knew how to cook, he loved to eat with me. He's a big guy, 6'4 and weighed about 190 at the time, I've fattened him up to 250ish lol. Luckily im nothing like my mom personality wise. Probably since I know how bad put-downs hurt, I don't use them. Anyways.. I was eating as much as my big hubby.. I should probably only eat about 1/3 of the amount he needs to consume as he is VERY active and a work a holic. But again I just had to eat eat eat. My husband is such a wonderful person. Its ironic because my mom used to love to tell me how no man would ever want to marry someone like me... Ha ha ha momma I got the last laugh. Not only did someone want me, he's wonderful.

Anyways it took me years to finally come to grips with my childhood and what was eating at me and making me eat so much. And then one day after lost of working on it I just realized I was happy. But now im covered in this big thick layer of fat that I don't need anymore and because of all my crash dieting I can't get rid of it. So I decided to take the bull by the horns and do something about it. I got the band. I feel like I have empowered myself and treated myself and endulged myself. Im so proud that I took this step.

I can see a brighter future for me. I can't wait until my outside matches my inside. Im so happy and contented these days. I have such a beutiful family with my daughters and hubby. I have good friends. Im just lovin my life. I have appropriate boundaries where my mother is concerned and its been years since I've allowed her to get under my skin. Issue resolved. Now my focus is on eating healthy, exercising and working this band to the max. yay!

sharcur · 09-15-2006, 09:04 AM

Hi, I am new to the forum as of today . I was referred by a friend who has had the surgery done. I am having the surgery done next month.
I am 300 lbs. and miserable. I liked the quote "I'm fat because I'm miserable". That is so true.
Hey , I'm worried that I my body is ready for the surgery , but my head isn't. I am afraid of failure. I have failed so much in the past with trying everything possible to get down. Oh sometimes I was successful , but after a couple of years I'd put it back on. I do not want to do something so dramatic and have it too be a failure. Am I sick or what?
Can any of you help me? I do sure need a insightful conversation :help: ! Thanks,Sharlene

lokiluvr · 09-15-2006, 09:27 AM

I think for me there are many reasons I'm so FAT,,I so LOVE food,,,so much that I became a Chef,,I guess I wanted to make people as happy as I pretended to be.And of course, a Chef must test each dish before it goes out.
Also, I like to take things to the extreme,, if it's salty,, I want it saltier,, sweet? Sweeter,, Buttery,,,more butter.
Feeling a bit down? Grab a half gallon of chocolate peanutbutter cup,,no,, no,, no need to dirty a bowl,,I'll just eat out of the carton.
I love food,, and if I go to a new type of resturant, I want to try all sorts of new things,, so away we go on the menu.
I work 12 hr shifts, 6AM-6PM home a bit after 7PM, so when I get home I eat dinner, help get the kids ready for bed,they go down at 8PM,, and I'm shortly behind at 8:30ish,, and up at 3:30 am to start again. Oh yeh,, sleeping on a full stomach,,bad,, bad so bad,,,every thing I do I know is wrong,,and I keep on telling myself that while I'm doing it.

bluehill · 09-15-2006, 01:58 PM

Welcome, Sharlene! My advice to get yourself out of depression prior to your surgery next month is to read read read this forum. There are so many inspirational testimonies -- even the weight-loss stats themselves -- that I'm willing to bet you will have renewed confidence in YOUR ability to do this, because of course YOU CAN DO THIS! The Lap Band is not magic, but it's a marvelous tool that can help with weight control for your entire life. It's YOU who makes it work however. Read read read the posts to find out HOW to make it work!

Boo Boo Kitty · 09-15-2006, 04:37 PM

Well I have read this thread for awhile, and time I come to turns with my issue!

I was abused as a child without getting to unneeded details it was long lasting and painful. I never dealt with the pain, and ignored it.

Well at 19 I had hit rock bottom. I was a big drinker and partier. I lead a double life, by day I was a married cake decorator, by night a bartender at a gentleman's club. Well we all know that things never stay dormat for long. I became to hate myself and being an object to all of those men. So I put myself on a path of ultimate self destruction and ate my feelings down. After I gained 20 pounds I was "relieved" of my bartending job because I no longer was the perfect 10 that was required. And I kept going from there.

I know now that the abuse as horrible as it was made me who I am. I am a very strong woman, who never stops until she gets what she wants. I no longer try to stuff pain with Twinkies. Because even then the pain is still a bitter pill to swallow. I now understand that food can not solve a damn thing other than hunger.

(BOY I feel like I just had a therapy session, how much do I owe you guys?? lol....)

bluehill · 09-15-2006, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boo Boo Kitty

BOY I feel like I just had a therapy session, how much do I owe you guys??

This one's on us, Brandy. And here your session is open-ended, not limited to the 50-min. hour!

Boo Boo Kitty · 09-16-2006, 07:22 AM

Thank you, big hugs to everyone here. It is so amazing how we can connect here and tell people things we don't in real life. Is it the ananimity or the fact we all are really the same? Either way, I love you guys man!
:kiss2: :kiss2:

Arcael · 09-18-2006, 07:30 PM

I got fat right around puberty.

Gdaym8 · 09-19-2006, 05:56 AM

"Why am I Fat" ? For me that is not a very hard question to answer - I'm fat because I over eat. The really hard question to get my head around is "Why do I over eat"?

sharcur · 09-19-2006, 10:26 AM

I'm fat because I eat more calories that I burn. Sharlene

Dana_Kwt · 10-08-2006, 07:41 AM

I'm a Carbo-holic!!!

I LOVE pastries and Breads in all kinds and shapes.. Carbs used to be my best friend, but not anymore ..

I thought i'll be sad not being able to eat carbs, I WAS WRONG!!! I never been happier shedding lb's and not even thinking of a piece of bread or a slice of Pizza :lalala:

MimIN · 10-10-2006, 02:51 PM

I am fat because I have an eating disorder. I went through the binge and purge stage, then just the binge stage. I eat at night mostly and usually carb loaded crap until I feel like I am going to burst. Food was always my escape, when I felt bad I would binge and purge, when I was happy I would binge and so on. My body was so confused that it just held onto everything I put into it. I addressed these issues with a councelor and my PCP who referred me to the band. So far so good two weeks in and with their help over the last year I am on the road to recovery.

Dreikalina · 10-11-2006, 11:14 PM

I just love the taste and textures of life! I love cashmere for the way it feels, the snap of a good pickle, the spicy flavor of curry, the smells of cuury! The smell of frying peppers and onions. If I was not so in tune with my senses, food would not be so wonderful. I have always loved to cook, too! Myabe I should get my nose and tongue removed! Hahahaha!

carolel · 10-12-2006, 12:00 PM

OHHHHH Drekalina!!!! I absolutley LOVE textures and tastes too. My 100% 500 count cotton sheets, the taste of cheesecake, the smell of freshly cut grass or wild honeysuckle, the touch of my husbands carresses or a newborn baby, etc.... I could go on and on.
Lynn

Dreikalina · 10-12-2006, 09:25 PM

well, how about the smell of the smoke from a campfire on a crisp autumn night? Or the feeling of a big glob of smooth pudding as it glides off the spoon, across your lips and settles heavy onto your tongue before you swallow. (Gosh, it almost sounds sexual..sorry about that...nothing intended. ) Even the feeling of good, new, thick sox on sore tierd feet! My sister always makes fun of me for being a texture freak. My sheets are VERY important to me , too!