Why are YOU Fat?

Croatica · 07-20-2006, 03:02 PM

I am fat because I ate too much. Period. :biggrin1:

dfdorsett · 07-26-2006, 01:41 PM

Hi, I'm having the band procedure done August 3rd. The things you wrote about eating sounded exactly like what I would have written about eating! Food has always been my best friend! I do everything around food. I cook so people will come see me. I travel in order to eat. I also worry about everyone that knows that I'm having the surgery and like you said... I don't want them to think I'm a "loser" if I don't lose the weight. I have a friend that has had not one, not two, but three stomach by-pass surgeries and she is still over 300 lbs. This is my first visit to the site.... thanks for your input... it really hit home! dfdorsett:)

ccfrog4u · 07-26-2006, 09:03 PM

I love food too but my main reason I believe I overeat is to numb feelings. I am an emotional eater. I feel like food was my best friend, now I am trying to become my own best friend!

**libra** · 07-31-2006, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ccfrog4u

I love food too but my main reason I believe I overeat is to numb feelings. I am an emotional eater. I feel like food was my best friend, now I am trying to become my own best friend!

I can totally relate! I eat because I'm angry. I eat because I'm sad, frusterated, bored, lonely, afraid...

I went to a therapist/nutritionist to help me deal with my eating habits before I had the banding. She told me I use food as a crutch to help me through difficult situations. I need to find a replacement for that; and immediate gratification instead of food. We determined since I'm a huge music lover, I would carry an ipod with me of my favorite music. Music instantly lifts my spirits and changes my mood. So whenever I feel the need to eat to numb any of these feelings, I'll dance to my favorite song instead! Oh and of course, exercise.:phanvan

Deb R · 08-08-2006, 08:49 PM

When I was in elementary school I was taller than all the other kids in my class. I was no string bean either. Unfortunately, I was bottom heavy and had thighs that were much too large for the rest of me. My thighs became the object of ridicule among all the boys in the neighborhood. This followed me into my teen years--constant teasing, being poked to make my thighs quiver. Gad, kids are cruel. I had zero self esteem. And the irony is, I was 5'10" and about 145 lbs but I thought I was as big as a house. I joined WW at 15 and so it began. Lose 5, gain 10, lose 10, gain 20...etc. etc. etc. Back then, the proper weights for one's height were guided by insurance charts--and the weights were very unrealistic. By the time I graduated university I weight 180 and thought I was huge. More dieting, more losing, a whole lot more gaining. Then, pregnancy and I gained 50 or 60 pounds, took it off, gained it back. I wouldn't have another baby until I got the weight off again, but as the years ticked by, I realized I'd better have a second child or it wasn't going to happen. So there are 6 years between my 2 children. And I gained another 50 pounds. More dieting, more losing, more gaining and WHAM 300+. I still have large thighs--but the rest of me is large too :cry

So, the lap band is going to help me lose weight, keep going until I get to goal and then KEEP it off. So there! And if my thighs are still huge, and they will be, tough!! These legs have carried me around for 49 years and I kind of like them. :)

~Deb

Caroline · 08-09-2006, 08:42 AM

How did I get so fat?
Like a lot of other people in this thread, I suffer from anxiety ridden depression, and am still on Celexa and Xanax. Grew up in a anxiety ridden situation, mother died when I was 8, father left us when I was 12. I am the youngest of 5. My brother ( who loved the term Thunder thighs) and my 3 sisters all made it a primary goal to be thin. My first diet was the Scarsdale diet and that was before the doctor was murdered- so even when I was 16 there was a need for me to drop 20 pounds- I would go to family gatherings and make sure that 2 people were standing in front of me at a family picture. I never want to do that again. Gave up drinking and smoking pot in my early 20s, and stopped excercising, and kept eating. My husband loved to eat, it seemed to make him happy - (Food = love ) and he gained so much weight that he developed type 2 diabeties. Now, with back problems and other things, he has lost 60 pounds. I kept eating.
Two years ago, my brother was having treatment for a rare form of Lymphoma, he needed a stem cell transplant and I was a perfect match. For the entire month of July I drove into the city and visited him, brought him a paper and went walking with him. During our conversations he pushed me to loose weight, so I went to the Brigham & Womens monthly lecture on Barraitric Surgery. At that time I decided to try a weight loss and excercise routine and in 3 months had lost 25 pounds. Then my brother died, and I gained it back plus another 15 or 20. And since October of 04, have just been to depressed to even try. I still pay 30 dollars per month for my gym membership, and now I'll begin using again - hopefully. Today is my one week band aniversary, and I've lost 6 pounds since the banding. I just don't want to be stuck with diabeties or severe heart desease, and grow old fast and die from some horrible complication. I'm not looking for a new body, just a healthy one. I like the fact that I'm being told what to eat and how much to eat, I needed this dramatic step to get my life back.
Best of luck to everybody in this situation-
C

geordieboy · 08-16-2006, 06:16 PM

Personally, and i can see reflections of my reason in sooo many other peoples, but i put my overweightness down to thus.

I was very active as a child, i won medals for cycling, football (soccer to the US and Canada) and for swimming. But i was from a working class family where both my mother and father worked damn hard for me and my 2 brothers. We NEVER and mean NEVER had chocolate biscuits in the house, cola or any other fizzy beverage, no sexy foods or name brands, we had cornflakes as the only cereal for years (i remember getting so excited when a market research company asked us to sample Golden Grahams before their launch, it was heaven), a real boring diet basically.

As i got into my teens I would do paper rounds and other odd jobs, working on farms during harvest etc and all i ever spent my money on was rubbish. Mars Bars, Coca Cola, Monster Munch and everything else bad. I would eat them so fast as i felt guilty about spending my money on them. Food soon became an obsession for me but i never noticed it until i was 16, through puberty i could never be arsed to excercise or do sport like i had before and i began to realise that i was getting quite tubby, i tried diets and lost weight, but then straight away back to my original habits, i would always suffer the phenomenon where i would gain 6 or 7 pounds more than what i was before the diet.

The atkins diet made me lose a tremendous amount of weight but trained me to eat food in massive qtys, i was eating steak three tmes a day, i was loving it. But then i felt my health as well as my wasteband deteriating, i stopped and gained it back and some more although now i have trained to eat for England and just cannot stop. I have even broke down in tears after battling with myself not to eat another chocolate biscuit or bag of crisps. It is shear addiction now which i need to stop. I have stopped smoking for 13 months(Aa habit i gained in college....such a dumbass) and now want to kick this habit, which too will kill me if not dealt with.

tampabaygirl · 08-17-2006, 05:01 PM

This is probally the best post I have read throughout my weightloss journey. so sad, but we all have issues that cause overeating so many different reasons I never have met anyone that wasnt MO that was truly happy they all are suffering some how. Hopefully this post will continue because like myself I don't know why or what caused my weight gain I was never past 110lbs and very popular I thought I had it all but something went wrong and I am still searching for that answer by readin g these post something may trigger something in my life that makes sense thanks so much for this wonderful post let keep it going....Lori

findingme2 · 08-22-2006, 10:48 PM

First reason....food is good. It tastes good, it smells good, it feels good to be satisfied, it's fun to have with friends, it's fun to have at parties and tailgates. I love food. I love to taste new things and talk about it. How many countless hours of my life growing up were spent at a full and splendid table of food at my Grandmother's. She loved with her food. The whole family was there and it was laughter, memories and stories. Every where my family ate we would "dissect" the food....what spice do you think they used, did they pan-fry this or broil it. Food glorious good.

Second reason....which is actually part of first food is emotional. It was a part of every celebration and good time, funerals and saddness, achievements and when he broke up with you it was pizza and ice cream time out with your pals. Want to see an old friend.....meet at so and so's for margaritas. Our culture is food.

Third reason......growing up poor it's the one thing we had. We had food from the field and while we couldn't buy lots of toys and "stuff" we could afford food. Cheap foods included flour and sugar for cakes and cookies. When I made my own money I started the habit of eating foods I had never had before but more important in quantities I thought would make me happy???? Maybe....

Fourth reason......portions, portions, portions. A buffet was 2 or 3 plates for me. A breakfast buffet was a breakfast plate first then a lunch plate. I would sometimes think- you know "normal" people don't eat like this. Watch your thin friends. How do they eat??? Not massive amounts.

and Fifth reason......was not normal from day one.....taller than others, single parent family, different religious group than others, and on and on. Did I eat to feel normal??? Maybe.

Okay, that saved me a $125 therapist fee....lol.

Findingme2 is my user name...it means as I find my waist my hope is to find my fat free soul as well. Good luck and good journeys to all of us bandsters.

Randi L · 08-23-2006, 12:01 AM

Childhood memory? Non-fat milk. Grey. While my brother had whole milk.

Looking back at pictures of that girl, always standing out, always bigger.

Late night eating, always. Lack of exercise until I adopted my dog two years ago.

Compulsive, obsessive, too much, too often, the thought comes and I chase the food.

Is it obvious to everyone else how very good most of the posts are?
Smart people, trapped by a common bond - and liberated by a band?

Daniel · 09-01-2006, 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penni60

Ok, I have always had a problem with leaving food on my plate. It comes from being told to finish everything no matter what. Also, comes from later in life I had a fear of never having enough food. I had a really hard time after my divorce of making ends meet with four children to feed. I would try and try so hard to make sure they had food but there were times we had nothing but bologna or peanut butter in the house. So my mind keeps telling me to eat now cause you might not have anything to eat later. Isn't that sick? LOL!!

Anyone else relate?

My parents made me eat all my food on my plate and I think this is one of the reasons I gained so much weight. I have a son who is almost a year old and I am going to make sure to tell him.. "dont eat everything on your plate" save some for the dogs.

bibytz · 09-01-2006, 03:36 PM

THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING,

I have been reading this thread for a while now and it made me think a lot. I thought of many reasons why I am MO and concluded that they were pretty much all used up by me as excuses in the past.

I beleive that all of my past experiences contribute to who I am today. I have other addictions that I took care of 17 years ago without any struggles ever since. I then had the opportunity to learn and understand that addiction is a "disease". It is something that I am born with. The 12 steps program were a blessing for my recovery. The thing is that I do not like to dwell on issues for the rest of my life. I stop using and I am doing great as far as not having any temptation what so ever.

And so I thought...

The reality hit me a few months ago. I am fat because I made food my new drug of choice. It simply it me like a brick one afternoon after stuffing myself with sweets. I was wondering why I had all those mental struggles with food, those yo-yoing in dieting resolutions and the emotional roller coaster following every attempt to solve my weight problem. I finally admitted that I am simply "powerless over food". I live to eat instead of eating to live. So I thought that I should use my experiences with the 12 step program and apply it to this problem.

So far, so good. I then let go of trying to solve this issue. That was not to complicated because I was/am tired of trying to control something that is controlling me. I went to the Dr. one day for my regular check-up to find out that he has been replaced by a bariatric specialist/internal medicine colleague. Dr. Z. has a lap band and was kind to share his experience with me. I started the process for the surgery and here I am today, 35 pounds lighter, out of all my meds and 6 days to band day.

I am confident that this is the answer. I asked for help and the band is on its way. As for everything else, the rest is up to me.

Thanks for reading me.

Ciao... for now.

HopeWorks · 09-07-2006, 09:25 PM

Wow - we are all so much alike! But...what about "why people are not fat" - is that something that has to be investigated/questioned? There are allot of people who are "normal" sized and have issues - I think it's unfair to relate eating with any issues we may have - I mean, our issues are the same as thin people's issues - belive me - they have issues too...they are just wierd about otherthings (keeping their kitchen really really clean, or owning a different set of dishes for each type of meal, etc).

I think that there is something to be said for not depriving yourself. We're always being told, at least as women, to take care of ourselves - treat our selves - induldge ourselves...that we serve so many others - so do something that we love. Well, I love food - so that's what I do. I could spend $200 and sit in a spa for a couple hours - but I don't - I shop, plan a meal, cook it to perfection and enjoy it!

I'm always going to enjoy and indluge in great food - just in much smaller amounts.

Tired_Old_Man · 09-09-2006, 09:03 AM

I think I just substituted food for things that were missing in my life as a child and I was never able to break the bad habits. The earlier a habit is initiated, the harder it is to stop. No excuses, just my weakness.

JILLMC · 09-14-2006, 09:02 PM

I was thin growing up until high school and even then I was only 15 - 20 pounds overweight. Losing weight was easy then but my mother wanted to help me so I started taking diet pills. I lost weight and got down to 105 pounds before I graduated. I looked great. I am 5'1" so that was a great weight. Who knew those pills would screw up my metabolism so badly. When I went to college I gained the freshman 15 which I think was actually 25. My father died suddenly when I was 19 and that is when I really started gaining weight. My mother constantly hounded me about my weight and so did my sister and boyfriend. I got to where I would eat before I went to eat with them so I could eat small portions in front of them. When I moved back in with my mother I would hide food. By then I was 150 pounds. I would kill to be 150 pounds again. I would hide food in my room because I was always chastised when I ate in front of people. I did lose weight with Nutra System and many other programs but every time I ate a little too much I was chastised and then I would literally eat too much just to prove that I WAS IN CONTROL of my life. I've been on a dieting roller coaster for all of my adult life and now I am 220 pounds. I now want to eat less but now I can't control my eating. I wake up thinking about dinner. I eat breakfast and immediately think about lunch. After lunch I think about what I can pick up on my way home.

After 9 months of considering the band I actually am eating less. I will treat my band with respect. I am a healthy person and I am good at following doctors orders. I will not risk hurting my band or myself by overeating. I love healthy foods so that part won't be hard. I have already decided that my band will be in control. I've never been confident about weight loss before but this time is different. This is very drastic and I will do it.

Thank you all so much for sharing so much about yourself. I actually found myself crying because I realize I am not alone. Our stories are all very different buy yet we are the same. I haven't thought about how I got here in a long time and it really helped.