Seeking peace of mind...

**Alexandra** · 06-21-2004, 08:52 PM

Recently there seem to have been a rash of slips and erosions so naturally I'm all nervous now and imagining things. Suddenly I'm reminded all the time about this plastic thing I have cinching my stomach into an unnatural hourglass shape and thinking I feel it.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time pushing a swing and every time I raised my arms I wondered if this was potentially the push that would dislodge my band. :( Today my chest muscles hurt a little from the exertion, and naturally I'm worried that I did something I shouldn't have. But then I remember that it's normal for muscles to hurt after unaccustomed use. Hello?

OK, I'm scared, I admit it. But maybe that's a good thing. It's so easy to overeat and think that the only side effect is discomfort, and PB, and a plateau. But it could be worse, and I need to remember to BE GENTLE with my band.

So let me say a sincere thank you to the people willing to share their stories, because by doing so you are protecting other bandsters in ways you didn't intend. If I'm ever a statistic, I promise to do the same.

Let's be careful out there! ;)

not2big42long · 06-21-2004, 09:52 PM

I have to be honest and say I have been feeling the same way. Thanks for being honest and making me feel like I'm not the only one out there being completely unrealistically paranoid.:)

La_madam · 06-21-2004, 09:54 PM

Alex I couldnt of said it better myself. I told Delarla the same thing last night. I'm a nervous wreck thinking of my band constantly. Today I have had that pulling feeling from my port incision going on all day. It has made me take it easy today and not want to do much. I keep thinking something is going on in there. I havent had this feeling since right after surgery. All of the things going on here lately have really made me take a hard look at how I willstrive continue to follow the bandster rules and take things slow. My heart goes out to those who have suffered problems this past week but like Alex I'm greatful for your posts and sharing your sotires , it has put me in check with my band.

donali · 06-21-2004, 11:23 PM

I so understand where you guys are coming from. I was always the same way - hence all my research on erosion! lol

But now that I'm a statistic, I have to say that I have come to terms with this, and I am at peace. Yes, I was a wreck all weekend, bawling my eyes out, terrified that my future held my past. But after reading all the supportive messages from so many people, and having a few "coming to Jesus" talks with myself, I can honestly say that I no longer fear what my future holds.

I am not the same person I was 17 months ago. I am not the same person I was 29 months ago. I have taken some very concrete steps in this obesity journey, and I have learned a LOT about myself and my eating addiction.

There are no guarantees that I will be one of the few successful in maintaining my current loss (new low, today, by the way!! 104..5 - just 1.5 more to my century mark! My band's last gift to me!), but I am so much better equipped to succeed today than I was in December 2001.

It is good to pay attention to your bodys and their signals - but it is not good to live in fear. Be mindful of your health, but know that if the worse happens you will deal with it. You all made educated decisions when you were banded, and you accepted the risks. It doesn't seem like the risks are that small when people you know start becoming statistics, but in reality the vast majority of people do not have these problems.

My journey with the band has been embarassingly easy. The only thing I wish I had done differently would have been not to rely on the band so much for stopping my eating. I did pretty much let the band do all the hardest work. Now that I'll be flying solo once again, I realize that I did not try to break the habit of eating until I was too full. I knew that even if I was over full, the amount of food I was consuming was far less than pre-band, and the weight would still come off. That was true! But I missed the opportunity to learn a lesson the easy way. Now that I won't have the band to catch me when I fall, I think it will be more difficult to learn that fine line of "enough".

One of the most important things I had to come to terms with in one of my "come to Jesus" meetings with myself was the fact that I let my constant hunger be my excuse for my poor choices. It is NOT about NOT eating pizza - it's about NOT eating a WHOLE large deep dish pizza to resolve my hunger. I cannot come up with one logical excuse for that CHOICE I made over and over again. I did not have to go hungry - I did not have to go without pizza - BUT... I DO have to go without using a less nutritious food to satisfy ALL of my hunger.

I was whining earlier to myself that people without a weight problem, without a hunger problem, JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! This is true - if a person does not suffer from overwhelming hunger all the time, they cannot possibly understand someone that does. But what they do understand is that eating a whole pizza is not a nutritious answer to any hunger, no matter how great.

I dislike Dr. Phil intensely, and find his views on obesity offensive. When he said that overweight people CHOOSE to be fat I was incensed. Although I still do not agree with his approach, I have to humbly admit that although I did not CHOOSE to be fat (consciously, anyway), I DID choose to satisfy my overwhelming hunger with intensely fattening foods. The results were a no brainer, and might as well have been a direct choice on my part.

I wandered away from the subject again - so sorry!

To recap:
Be mindful of your health, but do not waste your gift on needless worry. If you have problems, you will deal with them. You are growing, learning things you don't even realize. Take responsible steps for your band care, but other than that, forget about it and focus on enjoying and reaping all the benefits of this wonderful tool - your new lease on life!

:D

New Hope · 06-22-2004, 12:19 AM

Donali, you are 100% CLASS! As usual, you're thinking about what you can teach us out of this fiasco. You're the best!

athykay · 06-22-2004, 01:13 AM

Wow, how this type of thing makes you stop and look. I too have been feeling very uneasy. With all that has been going on. But I knew that the risk was there, when I chose this surgery. I like alot of you probably figured it would not happen to me. Reading the post lets us know that it does happen and it can be one of us.
I too am very grateful to have this site to come to. I have learned so much and shared so much with all of you. I am so thankful that we all have a place that we can come and learn, and vent and have a laugh or two.
I am only 4 weeks out and down 28 pounds the lightest I have been in at least 2 to 3 years. I am feeling better and better each day. Although I had no real health problems at the time, I knew they were just around the corner. I made my decision to have this surgery based on what a lot of you had to say. As hard as it is that the complications that are going on now. They have always been there, like Donali says if we too have problems we will deal with them. But for now I love my new lease on life. And I would like to thank everyone for sharing their experiences with out them my surgery may have never been.
Thanks Donali for the great post, and all the inspiration that you have gaven all of us. I would say that this great tool gave you so much more than weight loss.
:) :) Kathy

**Alexandra** · 06-22-2004, 05:39 AM

Quote:

Donali, you are 100% CLASS!

AMEN TO THIS!! Donali, you are amazing. Thank you for showing us the RIGHT way to handle adversity...

I'm keeping your post in my "inspiration" file.

bbrecruiter2000 · 06-22-2004, 08:37 AM

Hi Alexandra/Donali,

I have also been a little skittish the last few days racking my brain to add up all the people I know who are banded that have issues like erosion, slippage, overfilled bands, GERD, gastritis etc. I have also been evaluating how many times while I was away on vacation that I was stuffing my face and overeating and potentially what damage I could have done to my band over the last year. I have had a relatively painless journey. In my mnd, even the most successful bandsters I know have issues, mostly small ones like minor reflux or occasional PBing etc. Here in my area, there are a large population of bandsters ( I think 2nd to NY) so I have a chance to meet with some at least once or twice a month.

THe general consensus is that the majority love their band. However, there is a lot of educating oneself that needs to happen when banded. I am really glad that Jessie Ahroni has published her book and it is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and a few other web sites. In my opinion, it is a must read for all bandsters. Here is the book title:

Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding: Achieving Permanent Weight Loss with Minimally Invasive Surgery
by Jessie H. Ahroni PH. D. A. R. N. P.

I am getting at least 5 copies and I think all the docs offices should offer them to their patients in my opinion.

But even still, the more you know doesnt mean you can avoid a problem like erosion, but in some instances knowledge can be a very powerful tool.

Babs in TX
334/214/180
-120
6/23/03

Bright · 06-22-2004, 05:16 PM

Aren't we humans a funny bunch? Last sunday morning, me, hubby and kids got up at 4.00am (yup, that's A.M.) to go to Tara (Ancient Seat of the Kings of Ireland!) to take part/witness the Summer Solstice Festival - I had mentioned to Donali that we would be going, and during the ceremory (mad hippy people in rainbow robes and face glitter!!) I met lots of americans who always seem interested in Irish mysticism - they were dressed up the most, and were really cheerful and enjoying the early rise, much more that the locals I have to say! I was thinking about Donali, and all of my american friends on Lap Band talk, and really felt happy and at peace with my banded life! Well, we eventually got home at about 9.00 am and all fell into bed until about 12 or 1.00 - everyone was asleep so I went to check for new posts here, and was completely shocked and horrified to read Donali's post about her band erosion - I was devastated that this little statistic would hit "one of us" - my heart went out to Donali, and I was remembering our last few emails where we were reflecting on sliding into bad habits and eating rubbish lately - where does my thinking end up.....? Me comparing my recent "symptoms" with Donali's symptoms, suddenly feeling a "gallbladder like attack" (which I have never had in my entire life!) I then scrolled down to see who else was online, and there were about 5 other people, all reading past posts about band erosion - my god, I thought, we are all so worried and convinced that we have the same thing going on inside! I have been barely eating in the last 48 hours, treating each mouthful like ground glass! And then I read Megan's post about never taking her band for granted again, which really impressed me - I had a decent breakfast today and got my ass to the gym, vowing too, to never take my band for granted. I was so humbled to read Donali's post in this thread, and see her pick herself up, and dust herself off, ready to face whatever is coming - I am so impressed and inspired - you are the best Donali :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny
The other thing I wanted to say is, while I love my band, and I lost 62lbs with it so far, through making bad choices recently, it has been 8 weeks since I lost anything - well, I was up 2, down 3, up 1, down 4....etc but I feel I have to make a conscious effort to lose weight and cannot depend solely on the band - what DOES work brilliantly for me, is following the food recommendations in the book "Potatoes not Prozac" book by Kathy De Maisons - she maintains that some obese people have a sugar sensitivity, and the programme she worked out was originally aimed at alcoholics - they were able to abstain from alcohol longer if they cut sugar out of their diet. What I am saying is, Donali, you may find this book a great help while your band is removed/waiting for rebanding etc - I have to (controversially!) say, I reckon it helps me with my food addiction more than the band has! The band doesn't mind what I eat, but if I stay away from sugar, I don't have the screaming craving that comes with sugar addiction.
Apologies this is so long, it's late here and I'm falling asleep - I promise I'll edit this tomorrow!
hugs to everyone xxx

donali · 06-22-2004, 05:21 PM

Thanks for the book title, Bright. I will definitely have to look it up.

And thanks for working your Irish magic for me and Indiana... :D I know you didn't forget, you wonderful thing you.

***hugs***