Reassurance for my hubby

hodegard · 11-10-2003, 12:13 PM

First, I want to clarify that I am totally at ease about what I am about to have done. I feel like I've done my homework, and I made a well-informed decision. There is not one fiber of my being that is nervous; I'm just eager to get this show on the road!

On the other hand...

My husband is a nervous wreck! He has been by my side throughout every step of this journey so far, so he too is well-informed about what to expect. (The only thing that he hasn't participated in has been the message boards, which I suppose is where I've gotten a lot of my reassurance.) But now that it's all "really happening", he is a nervous wreck... in his own words.

Could some of you give him some advice, encouragement, suggestions... whatever you feel would be helpful to him? I will make sure that he reads this thread, as I think it might really help for him to hear from someone other than just the medical community.

Thanks!

Lioness81970 · 11-10-2003, 12:25 PM

There is this post on another website entitled : "to all significant others". My husband read it and saod that alot of the things that they were talking about is what he was feeling. Here is the link; http://www.gastricbypassfamily.com/SOthers.html Hope it helps!

BandAid · 11-10-2003, 12:57 PM

My husband says to tell him that he'll be happy in the long run. Hubby met my doctor and really felt a great deal of trust toward him.
My husband also read a lot of the information that I found when I was researching the band and I believe that knowledge gave him the same peace of mind that it gave me.
Best of luck to you!

**Alexandra** · 11-10-2003, 01:14 PM

For my husband, knowledge was power. He was very apprehensive in the beginning, but as he learned more about the procedure and read some of the messages on various support boards he started to see what this was all about.

Another point I made to him that helped him accept my determination was this: I know he loves me as I am, and my need to lose weight is NOT about any insecurity I have in our relationship. It's about my health, and wanting to be here for him and for our children as long as possible. This is a battle I've been fighting all of my life, which is something he couldn't really comprehend at first since when we met I was already 30.

As for the safety issue, even my PCP, who had never heard of the band before, agreed that it presented a safer treatment than even whatever drugs are currently on the market. The most dangerous thing about it is the general anaesthesia. When last year I thought I was going to have knee surgery, he didn't bat an eyelash. When I drew that parallel, his last objection fell.

alicia · 11-10-2003, 04:37 PM

My husband was very apprehensive through the whole process and gained a lot of information and felt the decision was a solid one. He was most anxious and nervous the day of surgery. The worst moment for him was when they let him see me in the recovery room as I came out from anesthesia. Be sure to warn significant others about the sight of you being helpless and in pain; my husband felt a flood of emotion when he saw me in this way. But as he watched me walk that night and the next day, his apprehension reduced and he is now excited to see where this leads us.

shellyj · 11-10-2003, 05:10 PM

hey alicia,

my man didnt like seeing me in pain either!! i would warn him that you are going to feel like total crap that first day- you just had surgery!!!

i agree with alexandra- knowledge is power. the only thing that eased him was doing his own research!