Open vs Closet Bander Questions

socalgal3 · 08-27-2006, 01:35 PM

I am a closet bandster...I told NO ONE but you all. I am a very private person and even one of my closest friends teases me that she wouldn't know I was pregnant until I called her from the hospital delivery room. So, it's not just a band thing. I don't tell my personal business to hardly anyone.

ralheit · 08-27-2006, 02:26 PM

I'm open. I don't offer the info, but many of my co-workers knew when I had it. A few people have asked and are now looking into it.

Carlene · 08-27-2006, 02:41 PM

I was semi-closeted at first...now I'm completely outed. It just got to be too much drama...trying to remember who knew and who didn't, what story I told to which people, fear of being outed by someone else (which I was) and being made to look like an idiot.

Remember that if anyone besides yourself knows your secret, it isn't really a secret.

JAYGERL05 · 08-27-2006, 06:31 PM

Everyone knows and everyone wants to ask questions and i am very happy and excited to share my experience.....I wish I never told anyone because so many people give you the negative and ask why and look at you awkward and always ask (could you have done it by your self) (i always respond nooooooooooo, if i could i would have.

diva · 08-28-2006, 01:05 AM

Nobody knows except my husband and the people in my group behavior modification sessions that were required for the band.
May I say here that I've seen this question pop up a few times here and...because a person chooses not to tell anyone that they are banded does not mean they are ashamed of it.

Fauxnaif · 08-28-2006, 07:13 AM

Closet bandster.

Two friends and my family including my in-laws know. I'm glad because there aren't a bunch of nosy people all over my business.

I suggest people keep it mum. You can never take it back after you let it out of the bag.

ousooner · 08-28-2006, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fauxnaif

I suggest people keep it mum. You can never take it back after you let it out of the bag.

To each their own I guess. I think it is too important to help others that may need more information. After all, if others hadn't been open with me, I would not be here today. Your right that you can never take it back - nor would I want to. Pay it forward is what I say!!!

Boo Boo Kitty · 08-28-2006, 08:30 AM

I have never thought of myself as in the closet but I guess I am! Only a few close friends and select family know. I like it that way. I feel that my issues with food are just that my issues, and do not want my life out there for personal speculation. I am fat because I stuffed the bad parts of my life down my throat in a cake.

My Granmda in law knows and she drives me crazy asking me everyday what I have lost and telling me "I didn't think you'd be able to eat that much" as I eat off a child size plate.

I don't want to be a role model at this point. Maybe that is just my survival instincts rearing their ugly head....

Loving-It · 08-28-2006, 08:37 AM

I'm a closet bander. My parents know, a few of my close friends, and then my manager and the owner of where I work. If I had it to do over I would have left my manager and the owner out of the loop. I didn't even tell my brother and that's only because I don't want his wife and her family knowing.

carol134 · 08-28-2006, 08:41 AM

Definately open!!!! I love to talk about it and answer questions for the most part. Although when your open and you don't lose as fast as the girl with the gastric bypass people are usually thinking whatever you had done is not working. I hate that part of it.....

barbara465 · 08-28-2006, 08:55 AM

I only told a few friends and my DH. Not because I was ashamed, but because I didn't want to report to everyone how I was doing etc. I wanted time to adjust to the band. Saturday I went to a gathering in clothes I hadn't worn in 2 years. Everyone stopped me and commented on how great I looked. I told them what I had done. I think everyone was surprised, but supportive. One wants all the information as she has been wanting to do it. Its funny. I've told strangers, but not my inner circle. Its nice its out, but hope they don't keep calling looking for results. :)

Its a very personal decision. I am glad of the way I did it. It gave me time to get used to all of the changes.

carol134 · 08-28-2006, 09:03 AM

Barbara after I read you reply I wish I had done it this way....I'm kinda sick of being ask how much weight have you lost and wondering why I don't look like the other girl that had that other successful surgery...:o

Pete53 · 08-28-2006, 11:30 AM

My wife is telling everyone in family and friends and I still have to get surgery scheduled. So far I have had the consult on August 22nd, an appointment on Sep 7th for stress test for clearance and a scope for Sep 13th.

I feel like a lot of stuff has to happen before the surgery and I am worried about pre-opt diet.

Dawn NH · 08-28-2006, 03:07 PM

Are you a bander that everyone knows or closet - that only family and a few to no friends know?
Everyone knows
Why?
That is the type of person I am. I am a very open person and I would not be happy keeping the information to myself. I do not talk about it all the time, but if someone has questions I will answer them.

Has it worked out?
yes
Would do it differently if you could?
I would not do anything differently. I love my band, and I had a lot of support from others during the six months of no weight loss. When I would get frustrated, others would remind me that it would work, I just had to wait.

**Elisabethsew** · 08-28-2006, 03:37 PM

Because I have a lot of weight to lose and kept off 90 of a 230 pound weight loss before deciding on having surgery, I decided to tell only 2 close friends and no family members. It's taken 3 fills for me to get restriction and I wanted to avoid questions before my weight loss was noticable.

As in the past, once people begin to notice and ask questions, I will tell them about the surgery. For now, this is a personal battle that I choose to wage alone and it seems to be the right choice for me.