The long road ahead.

LapBandit · 08-20-2006, 07:47 PM

I'm definately thrilled with my progress so far, so please don't think I'm complaining.

I just realized that I'm still not even halfway there. What a long road ahead. Can I really do this? Is it possible that I'll make it down to a normal weight? This has been the impossible dream for so many years and now that it's somewhat in reach I'm scared. I'm starting to get what I wanted and now I'm afraid of it. How messed up is this?

Has anyone gone through these feelings?

dcfolan · 08-20-2006, 08:13 PM

It's totally understandable, though. People tend to have a lot of identity wrapped up in their appearance and when it changes drastically (and even not so drastically) it can be scarey.

One starts to think about how vulnerable it can feel to be small. Most of my life I've been overweight and therefore "large and imposing" - if only in my own mind. :) My husband insists I'm tiny, but I know better.

Certainly you can do it, but it could be worthwhile to think/fantasize about how you'll feel when you're at that normal weight you're reaching for. I took a one day class where they took us through guided visualization. One of the visualizations was to imagine yourself at set intervals of weight loss and to explore how you felt emotionally with that image.

I don't know if this helps at all, but at least you know you aren't the only one with these conflicting desires and fears.

MelodyJ · 08-20-2006, 08:21 PM

Lapbandit--

FIrst of all, WOW!!! CONGRATS on all the weight loss!!!! Good job and I am IMPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's hard to realize when WE have so far too go....my husband has no clue. Couldn't admit my weight too him and I am tall so he didn't know I started at 335lbs!! I've lost 77lbs so VERY EXCITING but then I think I still have 93lbs too go!!!! So far it seems like!! I TRULY understand where you're at.....I even got mad at the band one Saturday (pb's suck) briefly... I was hormonally challenged....so not totally my fault! ;)

Fear of failure is very common....who wants to fail.....AGAIN!!!! Hang in there!!! Your normal....at least too me!! :) I am struggling at times w/ these same fears....just push them down and think thin!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

God Bless,
Melody
Banded 3/20/06 -77lbs :)

Road Queen · 08-20-2006, 08:26 PM

LapBandit - you are doing awesome. Don't worry, you will lose it.

Losing the weight was stressful for me. It helped that I would lose, plateau, lose plateau, etc. It was easier to get used to a smaller me. And its so strange. I don't think it was as obvious when I lost the first 40 as the last few pounds have been. I guess when you get smaller, little changes really show.

Keep up the good work.

LapBandit · 08-20-2006, 09:04 PM

I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one struggling with these feelings. This is a very complex journey we are all on! I guess it's confusing because I've never made this much progress before. I've always been able to diet and lose 30 pounds but never any more so this is unchartered territory for me!!

mousecrazy · 08-20-2006, 09:28 PM

Road Queen is so right. The plateaus are gifts, disguised as problems. Those are times to get used to being a smaller person...time for your skin to shrink, time for you to clean out your closet...all those things that waiting is good for!
As you lose more and more, it might take longer to lose the last part...that's where I am now, but I am losing steadily again. I just try to believe in myself, and go with the flow, instead of trying to fight it all the time. Enjoy your journey!

Elisabethsew · 08-20-2006, 09:36 PM

I know exactly how you feel. My highest weight was 440 and I dieted down to 195. The way people treated me was so different but I felt great physically. You WILL get to goal and what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Keep looking ahead.

Jachut · 08-20-2006, 09:46 PM

I think long pauses are a natural and healthy part of the journey, and that you do need to give your head and your body time to get used to the progress youv'e made to that point.

I look at it like I've lost 65% of my excess weight and regardless of several more fills, If I'm honest with myself I know its not a case of being tighter, its a case of working harder to get the next 15kg off. The bad habits sneak back and I know that I can maintain but that I have to work to lose and realistically I'm no better at keepign that up consistently than I ever was.

So the rest of this weight is highly likely to come off in little bursts as I pull my finger out and put in a good month or two and that there'll be long plateaus in between.

But I try to remember how much happier and better I feel as compared to a year ago and thus focus on my success, not how much work I still have left to do.