How do you know a goal weight?

WASaBubbleButt · 04-16-2007, 11:42 PM

I'm having a hard time coming up with a goal weight.

I've lost 60 pounds and I have another 42 to go but as I look at my fat legs and my fat stomach I can't believe the extra fat is only 42lbs. I'm thinking more like 72lbs or more.

I was talking to a banded friend today and she was laughing at me saying it's a body image problem, that she believes anything more than 42lbs and I'll be too thin. I honestly can't see that. I look at allllll the fat and I am thinking a LOT more than 42lbs will be necessary. My sis and I are both 5' 5" and she weighs 140 but she's really small boned, I'm medium boned. My goal is 150. I'm at 192 now. She looks great, just perfect. Well, maybe she could lose 5lbs or so.

I don't remember what I weighed when I looked good, I never worried about it and I didn't even own a scale at the time.

I was talking to a plastic surgeon today and while I can have a boob job after 42 more pounds I can't have a tummy tuck for another year. That depresses me. I was looking forward to having it done as SOON as I reached goal.

How have you determined your goal weight?

Nile · 04-16-2007, 11:57 PM

I'm having a hard time too :/ i feel like i have to loose at least 20 more lbs but everybody tells me i'll disapear =/

Marimaru · 04-17-2007, 12:07 AM

I think you should stick to your original goal weight for now. If you get to 150 and decide you want to lose more, then lose more. The OTHER thing to keep in mind, is that the number doesn't mean anything and if you get happy with how you look at 160, don't force your way to 150 just because it was your original goal.

I do believe it is a body image thing. I have a hard time with the idea that I'm over halfway to my goal too sometimes. I can kind of tell when I look in the mirror, but if I'm sitting down and looking at my thighs n' stuff, it just feels like I have so far to go. My sister never got as big as I did, but has definate body image issues, and so we kind of make a game of pointing people out who are bigger/smaller/the same size as eachother so we can kind of get a feel for how we look, you know?

WASaBubbleButt · 04-17-2007, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marimaru

...I can kind of tell when I look in the mirror, but if I'm sitting down and looking at my thighs n' stuff, it just feels like I have so far to go. ...

I hadn't thought of that. You are right, today I was wearing shorts and I saw the flab on my legs and was horrified. I was feeling pretty good about my weight loss, my butt really is gone. But my legs... holy crap they are fat! They are better when I stand.

I really hadn't thought of that, thanks.

Jachut · 04-17-2007, 12:21 AM

The only thing you can do at first is pick something in your healthy weight range. Me being me, I picked low in my healthy weight range - I was 72kg when I got married and I felt awesome.

I've just decided I've reached my goal! At 78kg I really was beginning to look at myself and think, you know, I just dont NEED to lose anymore. I'm not 23 anymore which is how old I was when I got married. I feel my face is just on the verge of getting gaunt and you can already see the ribs on my chest, my collarbones have huge hollows, my shoulders and shoulder blades are downright skinny. I can see what will happen is that if I lose 6kg more, my upper body would jsut get scrawny and I'd still have lots of padding on my behind. My stomach is the stomach of a 39 year old woman who's had 3 babies, so looking for perfection there is stupid, its flat in clothes and I dont have even the hint of an apron, so what more would I want?

My son asked me the other day "mum, why are your hands so bony" He's nine, bless his heart and still has gorgeous little childish hands with dimpled knuckles.

I stil have cellulite and I'm pear shaped, I am an Australian size 14 which is still quite large compared to some other women but I"m much much taller too of course. I think I'm about 175lb in imperial measurements. I have a roll on my belly when I sit down. But darn it, I'm 39 and I've had 3 babies. What am I "supposed" to look like? I just look like everyone else walking around in the street, I can wear the latest fashions, that's all I care about. I dont need to look perfect.

So I figured, I think I'm done! I may lose a few more kg's as I just had a fill and its tighter than I was but I'm not hanging out ever week to see that scale move down and I'm not planning on eating less or differently to what I do now. I run because I love it, not to lose weight.

So my goal weight came UP from my original one, not down, but I'm just so happy.

My dietician wanted me to shoot for 87kg way back at the start of this journey. I was scornful. No way was I going through surgery to still be overweight, I just plain dont agree with setting a goal that is still overweight - well not in a case like mine where I was less than 100lb overweight to begin with.

mariecarmen · 04-17-2007, 06:04 AM

Funny this subject came up. I'm pretty close to my surgeon's goal BMI. He doesn't go by weight, it's all the BMI in his world.

I always thought his goal was on the high side and personally set my goal about 20 lbs less.

Now, at 175 I feel pretty good and people I haven't seen in awhile gasp at my changed appearance. I think I need some current photos to help me visualize what I truly look like. Looking in the mirror just doesn't work for my inner vision.

I'll keep trying to lose, but I don't really feel pushed to do it quickly. I feel I look more like a normal, 50 year old grandmother now. I'll work on toning up the soft tissue and skin now.

liberty2003 · 04-17-2007, 08:45 AM

When i first has surgery they put me at a goal weight of 150 lbs. I asked them to bump it up to 180 lbs because i am so big boned. I have 44.5 lbs to go til i get there and DO plan on having a tummy tuck soon after. I can't really say what my goal weight will end up being until i am actually around 180 and see what my body looks like. I was thinking of trying to get to around 160-165 but i don't want to push it right now.

mannamay · 04-17-2007, 08:58 AM

I have set a goal of 140, but, with that said, I will see how I feel when I get close to that number. I may choose to lose more or not. But, 140 is pretty ideal for my height. I am 5'6". From what I am told it is all about the feel good factor. My DH says that if I choose to go lower than that, then I am crazy. He thinks curves are pretty and says a little cusion for the pushin is good...lol. You can let your mind wander on that, these are his words and he has a funny way of talking to me! Anyway, good luck with your decision. You will know what is right for you when the time comes. Take it easy!

**Jack** · 04-17-2007, 09:22 AM

....I reviewed the stats on BMI, consulted with various health care team members, and threw a dart at a target board....

**Wheetsin** · 04-17-2007, 09:33 AM

Quote:

How have you determined your goal weight?

Basing it off of the last time I was comfortable with how I looked, and understanding that weight this time around may not look like that weight before I got fat, because of where the fat has accumulated, skin being stretched, etc.

I have a goal goal, which reflects the original number, and a 20 lb flex because I know it may take a little more or less.

Sunshine2 · 04-17-2007, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jachut

The only thing you can do at first is pick something in your healthy weight range. Me being me, I picked low in my healthy weight range - I was 72kg when I got married and I felt awesome.

I've just decided I've reached my goal! At 78kg I really was beginning to look at myself and think, you know, I just dont NEED to lose anymore. I'm not 23 anymore which is how old I was when I got married. I feel my face is just on the verge of getting gaunt and you can already see the ribs on my chest, my collarbones have huge hollows, my shoulders and shoulder blades are downright skinny. I can see what will happen is that if I lose 6kg more, my upper body would jsut get scrawny and I'd still have lots of padding on my behind. My stomach is the stomach of a 39 year old woman who's had 3 babies, so looking for perfection there is stupid, its flat in clothes and I dont have even the hint of an apron, so what more would I want?

My son asked me the other day "mum, why are your hands so bony" He's nine, bless his heart and still has gorgeous little childish hands with dimpled knuckles.

I stil have cellulite and I'm pear shaped, I am an Australian size 14 which is still quite large compared to some other women but I"m much much taller too of course. I think I'm about 175lb in imperial measurements. I have a roll on my belly when I sit down. But darn it, I'm 39 and I've had 3 babies. What am I "supposed" to look like? I just look like everyone else walking around in the street, I can wear the latest fashions, that's all I care about. I dont need to look perfect.

So I figured, I think I'm done! I may lose a few more kg's as I just had a fill and its tighter than I was but I'm not hanging out ever week to see that scale move down and I'm not planning on eating less or differently to what I do now. I run because I love it, not to lose weight.

So my goal weight came UP from my original one, not down, but I'm just so happy.

My dietician wanted me to shoot for 87kg way back at the start of this journey. I was scornful. No way was I going through surgery to still be overweight, I just plain dont agree with setting a goal that is still overweight - well not in a case like mine where I was less than 100lb overweight to begin with.

Jacqui - I loved your post! I need to quit looking for perfection! I've been trying to get that perfect body since I was in high school, I weighed about 130 lbs and was 5'5 1/2", I looked damn good but thought I was fat. Man, what I wouldn't do to have that body again. lol.

I realize I have never been happy with my body, I've always wanted the rock hard abs, the perfect boobs, and even when I looked good, I was searching for a better body. So, it time to accept who we are, and feel good about the body God gave us. I am not going to worry about my boobs, the cellulite, the flab on my stomach, I want to get to a healthy weight and be happy. I have had 2 babies myself, and I won't look like the models - but I will be healthy. I haven't given up a tummy tuck, and might still have one (once I get to my goal weight), but if I don't have a huge apron, I won't do the tummy tuck, so time will tell.

My doctor set a goal weight of 50%, which is where I am now. I'm with you Jacqui, hell no amd I going to have WLS and still be overweight! I lowered my goal to 145 or 150. My doctor is so happy with my progress, but I am still beating myself up over only losing 4 lbs last month, it finally hit me, I need to just be happy and work hard and eat right and the weight loss will come, I need to quit stressing over it and just accept whatever my body decides to lose and be happy. I'm a work in progress and masterpieces take time. lol.

sleepyjean · 04-17-2007, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marimaru

The OTHER thing to keep in mind, is that the number doesn't mean anything and if you get happy with how you look at 160, don't force your way to 150 just because it was your original goal.

That's very good advice. Unfortunately, it's something I'm going to struggle with. I have a number in my head and if I don't get there, some small part of me will feel like I failed. It's irrational, but it's the truth.

I can't imagine a world where I'm NOT trying to lose weight. It's been part of my life for 20+ years. Getting used to a life where my weight is OK will be like living on the moon - totally uncharted and mysterious territory. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll like it. Yeah, it'll be great to wear normal clothes and not ever worry about fitting into a small chair, but my fat is my shield and I feel extremely vulnerable without it. I've got this internal struggle where I'm absolutely determined to get the weight off, but am equally afraid to get the weight off. I've lost 60+ pounds three times in my life, and each time I failed, it was because I got within 15 pounds of my goal and decided that I'd have to starve myself and work out twice a day to get those last pounds off. That, of course, never lasted, and that's how I ultimately wound up weighing 266 pounds at the age of 31. Overweight - that's familiar and comfortable territory for me. But I digress...

That said, my doctor sets goal weight strictly by BMI. I'm 5'8" and the healthy BMI range for me is between 125 and 164 pounds. They put my goal down at 143, which is right smack in the middle of that range. Personally, I'm aiming for 140, having finally accepted that 125 is completely out of the question.

juliegeraci · 04-17-2007, 11:36 AM

I'm also 5'8" but my goal is 175-180. I don't want to struggle to keep my weight at 160. I have been 162 before and I was way too thin. My goal is a size goal of 14/16. My original goal was only an 18.
But now that I'm at size 20 I think I can get thinner. If you look at BMI I need to get to a minimum of 170-175ish to be in the Healthy category. Anything more is overweight. I'm 232 now and still in the obese category.

mousecrazy · 04-17-2007, 12:47 PM

I am 5'7" and a little, and weigh 200 lbs. I wear a size 16/18, or an XL. I set my goal as 180 because it seems realistic. I still think it is realistic, even if it is taking a couple of years to get there! I imagine I will wear 14/16's when I make goal. I am 51 years old, and while I feel much younger and probably act much younger, I'm very comfortable not having perfectly toned, flat abs (or anything else, really).
I am right on the verge of "Onederland", and it is wonderful. I would guess that setting goals is very individual, like everything else in bandland!
Good luck!
Cindy

socalgal3 · 04-17-2007, 12:59 PM

I just picked 150 because it was a nice even number and according to BMI charts, it puts me in the "normal" range. I probably last weighed that in high school, so who knows if I'll actually make it. I think I will adjust my goal depending on how I feel and look.