Have slim people asked you if they can qualify for the surgery?

SuzanneG · 02-04-2008, 09:45 AM

I don't know about you guys, but this really offends me. Don't get me wrong, my BMI was 37.8 when I was banded so I'm not talking about those who need the surgery but get told they aren't fat enough (this happened to me). But I hate it when someone who is 20 pounds overweight at the most tells me that they want to get it done. I think they're probably just trying to show support, but it makes me feel like they're making fun of me.

Is it just me?

coolcrystal · 02-04-2008, 09:57 AM

This is a very hard question to answer.
Because to me, your starting weight was, what, 223? I thought I looked good at that weight and would have never thought about getting this surgery at that weight, but to you, you felt like you were overweight enough to get the surgery.

Somebody at 175 might feel they should get the surgery too... it's all in our self image. heck, I thought I looked fine until I got over 250 and it wasn't how I looked that made me want to get this done, it was how I felt.. not fitting into seats, the pain of walking... stuff like that.

So many people have distorted images of themselves... and I see it on this group a lot when people lose all their weight and reach goal and they still feel fat and they want to get all this surgery done... I've seen people on here get brachioplasty done on thier arms and their arms looked fabulous before they got it done and now they have this hideous scar.

Now, I know there are people who do need the plastic surgery.. people who have pannus's hanging down over their crotch or arms so saggy that they can't fit them into their shirts.. I understand those.. but, I've seen some people who just have distorted images of themselves and insist on getting this surgery and plastic surgery when they clearly don't need it and it's very sad.

My friend Dawn who got the band told me to be careful of doing this, because she was so concerned about that last 15 pounds she became belemic and anorexic... Then she got a slip... Even though her goal weight was 145, she wanted to get to 130.. because she still felt fat.

SuzanneG · 02-04-2008, 10:17 AM

I understand what you're saying and I have seen people post on here with BMI below 35 who want the surgery.

I always say that Mary Chapin Carpenter said it best, "The stars might lie but the numbers never do." I was in a plus size 20 when I started my pre-op diet.

I opted for the surgery because I was having health problems, BP, joint problems, blood sugar, not to mention I was slowly losing my ability to do the things I love, yard work, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth for these people that I'm talking about.

I know it's all relative, but I'm talking about people who are normal sized - litterally. As in not Plus Sized. The example from today probably wears a size 12.

I really felt like she was poking fun at my choice to have the surgery.

shortgal · 02-04-2008, 10:18 AM

We can be very judgemental about this. I see a few people on the forum that are still very young and have maybe 50 pounds to lose, and that is to get them to what I consider a low BMI, like 20 to 21.

I really don't see how a 19 or 20 year old could have made many REAL valid attempts to lose the excess weight and yet, they must believe they can't because who would have surgery?

And I wonder if it's realistic for the people aching to be a low BMI to maintain that weight, even with the band.

The weight loss graphs for people that have had WLS, shows that after losing the excess weight, most people will rebound some pounds and then remain stable.

So, if these young people have 50 pounds to lose, have the surgery, lose the 50 but rebound 20 pounds, the difference would be 30 pounds. Now I would never risk surgery for a net loss of 30 pounds.

But a person that has 100 pounds to lose, might end up after several years keeping close to 60 or 70 pounds off. That's a big difference in a person's overall health. And higher BMI people with over a 100 pounds to lose have an even greater health benefit.

That's why ins. companies don't want to pay for surgery unless you are over 40 BMI or 35 with co morbidities.

We all have a different comfort level for where our weight should be.

Marimaru · 02-04-2008, 11:40 AM

I haven't had slim people say it to me in person. My little sister wanted to have the balloon one done, but she wasn't all that heavy to begin with, and my mom made a deal with her that if she quit smoking, she'd pay for it. Well, my sister didn't quit smoking until she got pregnant, so it never happened, and she's already lost all her pregnancy weight by herself. She was serious about losing the weight (by "weight" we're talking 20 lbs here), but she never needed any surgical help.

I have to admit when I first got banded, I really scoffed the lower BMI bandsters, 30~ BMI's and such. I never once said anything to them, and I'm very glad I never did. I'm closing in on that 30 BMI, and I can see where they are coming from. It's 50 lbs from where I am to be at the top end of "normal" as far as BMI goes, but if someone could have told me what I was going to go through when I weighed 200 on the way up, I would have wanted to have something like this done.

As far as my little sister goes, we've had long conversations about how we each feel about our bodies. She has felt as bad about her 150lb body as I ever did about my 280lb body, and that has given me a little more understanding into why someone who's <30 lbs more over weight might be talking about surgery. They don't see them self the way everyone else does.

AtlSpeedy · 02-04-2008, 04:31 PM

Well I have friends that want to get banded also. Not because they are overweight, but because it could help them remain skinny! I don't get mad at my size 2 & 4 friends, they have eating issues just like I do! Only in reverse!

missy0224 · 02-04-2008, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shortgal

We can be very judgemental about this. I see a few people on the forum that are still very young and have maybe 50 pounds to lose, and that is to get them to what I consider a low BMI, like 20 to 21.

I really don't see how a 19 or 20 year old could have made many REAL valid attempts to lose the excess weight and yet, they must believe they can't because who would have surgery?

And I wonder if it's realistic for the people aching to be a low BMI to maintain that weight, even with the band.

The weight loss graphs for people that have had WLS, shows that after losing the excess weight, most people will rebound some pounds and then remain stable.

So, if these young people have 50 pounds to lose, have the surgery, lose the 50 but rebound 20 pounds, the difference would be 30 pounds. Now I would never risk surgery for a net loss of 30 pounds.

But a person that has 100 pounds to lose, might end up after several years keeping close to 60 or 70 pounds off. That's a big difference in a person's overall health. And higher BMI people with over a 100 pounds to lose have an even greater health benefit.

That's why ins. companies don't want to pay for surgery unless you are over 40 BMI or 35 with co morbidities.

We all have a different comfort level for where our weight should be.

I appreciate your opinion, however, I had my surgery done when I was 21 and have been overweight since I was 9 years old. I think getting the band when you are younger is way better then to wait until you're older. I would yo yo diet all of the time and never seemed to get anywhere. I'm totally for younger people getting the band to save their life early.

GreenChrysalis · 02-04-2008, 04:45 PM

This hasn't happened to me (because I'm not telling anybody!), but I can see how it could. I think it just illustrates that we can be unhappy with our bodies at any size; I have had friends who are what I'd consider a "normal" weight but obsess about their bodies more than I do. But this is why I am in therapy, because I need to work on my body image as well as why I overeat in the first place. Hopefully the band will help me to get healthy physically, but it won't do anything for the craziness in my head.

Jachut · 02-04-2008, 06:47 PM

That person who's 20 lb overweight might have as many or more issues than someone who's 100 lb overweight. They may just be better at keeping the weight off by whatever (often unhealthy) means but want desperately to be off the treadmill of food obsession and body image obsession forever. Just like most people here did and do.

When we had the huge debate a few months back on setting high goal weights, I realised I felt disgusting, miserable and unhealthy enough at a BMI that many people would be thrilled to achieve and maintain. It was always doomed to become a fight like it did because how can you say that you felt awful at x weight without offending someone who's worked hard to get to x weight and feels fabulous? Yet I was simply desperate about my weight and losing it has changed my life. Yet my BMI was never more than 35. If someone had said to me that they were offended by my desire to have LAP-BAND® surgery becuase they thought they I had no right to it at my "low" weight I would have been pretty defensive about it.

You can never get inside someone's head, although I do agree 20lb is hardly a problem requiring surgery - yet. I wouldnt say they should start banding people that are 20lb overweight by a long shot, I think that banding in Australia from a BMI of 30 is sensible policy - why wait for health problems to occur? If you've a BMI of 30, chances are one day it will be 40. Statistics tend to bear that out.

With regard to younger people, well statistically, fat kids become fat adults. Why discriminate against them for their age and not having had all those fruitless, pointless, doomed attempts at one diet after another? Why on earth not just nip the problem in the bud right now before they ever become morbidly obese. I wasnt that young, I was 38, I hadnt developed health problems at that point but for me banding was not only cosmetic (and I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with that, its little different to, say, inserting silicone bags in your chest for the look of them) but also about PREVENTING future health problems, and staving off feeling, acting and looking old well before my time. I was beginning to feel decidedly middle aged and that scared the sh%t out of me. The greatest joy every day since banding is actually not what I see when I look in the mirror but how I feel inside, going out for a run and being able to do it is such a pure joy, I'm so sorry I wasted 8 years of my life being obese.

So yeah, I really dont make any judgement at all on how overweight someone else is when they choose the surgical option. I really dont believe those who are fatter have more right to it or deserve it more, I just think we should be grateful its an option and I'm very grateful it was available and that I could afford to choose it. And I'm thrilled for anyone who embarks on the journey and really hope it works for them as well as it has for me.