Has your sex life changed since getting the band?

000000000 · 10-15-2007, 02:58 PM

I was wondering if your sex life has changed since getting the band?

Mine was lousy to begin with, as I was not comfotable with old body. So I became used to no sex which drove me crazy, but just got used to it. (sadly).

Then I had the surgery last year, I have dropped about 80 lbs and now I want to show off my new figure. My sex drive has increased and feel like a teenager again.

Has anyone else had a increase in libido? If so what are you doing about it?
:)

Rainer · 10-15-2007, 04:38 PM

Yes...considerable increase...I love it!

What am I doing about it??? Poor dh...he's exhausted!!!

:)

Rain

Gloucester · 10-15-2007, 04:43 PM

I had to laugh at this one! My poor bf is so tired from the recent activity! I've only lost 28 pounds, but I really notice it. I'm more energetic and limber and I think before I was just too tired.

Now it's fun! :-P

Jachut · 10-15-2007, 05:03 PM

Nah. Long term married relationship, 3 kids, lol. Libido......gone, lol.

Seriously though, it was always very good, although I always always have to take a mental deep breath and just do it, I'd far rather read a chapter of my book before I go to sleep! But its been 3 or 4 times a week for as long as I can remember, and we've pretty much got it down to a fine art now.

**Kat817** · 10-16-2007, 01:10 AM

It was never bad or infrequent, but the possibilities have greatly increased!!!

Kat

HarleyNana · 10-16-2007, 07:40 AM

Kat, might that be why you're up at 1:10 in the morning, LOL.

enterprise01 · 10-16-2007, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jachut

....But its been 3 or 4 times a week for as long as I can remember, and we've pretty much got it down to a fine art now.

Good god, how do you find the time? Seriously. I'm lucky if I get it once a week. The more I learn about you, the more envious I am of your lifestyle. You seem to have so much more leisure time. And you have a family and I don't! All I do is work, work, work. Most nights 'til 2 or 3 am. Where did I go wrong?

Anyway, back to the topic of libido. My sex drive took a nose dive when I put on all the weight and it still hasn't come back. I think that's because I don't feel good about myself yet. The weight is gone, but the flabby skin is there. Maybe after I lose 20 more pounds, have plastic surgery, and get a tan, then I'll feel like I look good. The only saving grace is that my boyfriend's sex drive has always been fairly low, so he's just fine with sex once a week. If my libido comes back, he'll be complaining that I'm constantly nagging him for sex.

**Wheetsin** · 10-16-2007, 04:36 PM

This is hard to answer. DH and I have always been very amorous, with good quality and quantity. So since it never was much of an issue, there wasn't anything to fix.

However...

What has changed is our spontaneity. I had no problems turning DH on before, but I couldn't do it with looks. I could do it by saying something, touching him, etc. -- but I couldn't walk into a room wearing something sexy and expect him to be turned on just by seeing me. Self esteem is what it is, but for most guys, the looks of a 400lb woman just isn't going to turn him on, love or no love. That's not him being selfish or shallow, that's him being human. Now he is turned on visually. The other day I was laying in bed and had my leg stuck up in the air putting lotion on, he walked past the door, looked in, and that was all it took. 170 lbs ago, there's no way in hell that would have turned him on (hell, 170 lbs ago, there's no way I could have gotten my leg straight up in the air!).

Perhaps spontaneity isn't the right word, but it's not completely wrong, either. There's a different level of impetuousness that comes when just looking at you can turn a guy on. He says it reminds him of when we were first together (I wasn't fat then), and he would catch a glimpse of me naked and feel like lightning had struck him. There's no way 400lbs is going to do that (unless you're talking fettish).

Our options have also improved. Before I lost weight, I physically could not be on top "normal." I could be on top, but I could not be on top AND sit up, and move while sitting up. You know, the way it should be! I would have to crouch or sort of lay on him. My legs and stomach were just too fat. It's so nice to not have that be an issue any more!

**FairyFacade** · 10-16-2007, 04:58 PM

I am more turned on now just because I feel sexier!
I made another thread, my port is now giving me problems when my legs are back over my shoulders, but Wheet gave me some good suggestions :)
Our sex is more spontaneous, and I think that IS a good word for it.
We always had on and off times in our relationship. But we haven't had any 'off' times since banding. It's now me instigating as much as he does, because it's not such a chore to do it. I don't get all worn out.
Just yesterday when I was changing out of work clothes, I am really excited about the fact I'm getting a girly figure (NEVER IN MY LIFE BEFORE THIS), and an ASS!! I am flat back there, no fat ever went back there it seems. But now that I'm losing weight around it, there it is! So I thought it looked really good in the panties I was wearing, so I ran to the living room and showed him. I wasn't intending to start sex, I just wanted to gush. And that's all it took for him! He came and pushed me against the wall and that was that.
I don't remember the last time that happened, if ever. I guess I'm in the same boat of, it's hard to turn someone on being over 300lbs in your skivvies. But I'll admit, I'm starting to look good in my undies! Especially since my boobs are now a seperate entity from my stomach. I love that.
I'm more open to 'different' positions now.. and doing it 'wherever'. Most of our relationship I was comfortable naked with him, but in the past year I kept gaining weight and I would try more and more to hide under a shirt, pillow, blanket, etc. during sex. This really upset him, and it killed the mood.
I don't ever think of covering up anymore. I'm so proud of the body I'm getting. He's never known me at this weight LOL! I think when I met him was at the end of my Atkins kick and my lowest weight after Atkins was around 260-270lbs.

Tamjpjb · 10-16-2007, 10:14 PM

I'm not sure what the heck is wrong with me......but my drive has taken a nose dive since I got the band! WTH!

Ang1982 · 10-17-2007, 02:29 PM

I haven't had my band yet so I cant report on the after affects on my sex life but as it is it is pretty good right now, can definitely not complain. My man used to be quite a big guy (before I knew him) and lost a lot of weight (on his own, probably 150lbs+) and is now a pretty normal size so I don't know if that affects the way he sees me but it doesnt matter that I'm 300lbs. He can barely keep his hands off me. Me naked is INCREDIBLY sexy to him (and it shows ;)). He's a total keeper! hah.

mescla808 · 10-17-2007, 07:14 PM

I think so, im down 20lbs and 15 day post op. That was the way my hubby checked for weight loss....he's silly. But he says he can tell that way while others can tell just by my baggy clothes..

Miriam

VegasGrace · 10-17-2007, 08:02 PM

Nope, still single here.

The band has only changed my relationship with food...which was my goal. So I'm happy.

**FairyFacade** · 10-18-2007, 02:14 PM

My husband has made a comment (DURING sex), that he notices the weightloss. Since he sees me all day everyday, he rarely compliments me on it. But a couple weeks ago, during, he finally said something! I think I have less tummy between us, so we're closer together. Only thing I can think of that he noticed..

mescla808 · 10-18-2007, 02:58 PM

You know people, Im glad this thread was started and that we can be so open and honest with each other. You see, when i went to my support group. Everybody talked about things they wanted to be able to do once they lost weight: move better, run after their kids, i said sing,somebody said paint their nails,sit in one seat in an airplane, BUT>>> I once was on a quest to lose weight and my motivation was to have better sex!.. Ok, that's where i am again. My hubby noticed because im able to do funky stuff again... kudos for all of us...

Miriam... sorry if that was a TMI...