feeling cheated

flower · 06-24-2006, 07:59 PM

Kind of long we go on this cape trip with the same girls every year and theres a few heavier people well my friend lost 60 pounds by taking these pills working out and she looks the thinnest she has in like 10 years I have lost 74 pounds haven't worked out much well anyways they were ranting and raving about her and said nothing about me I know but I feel so jealous and cheating like hey what about me the whole weekend was like how did you do it what do you eat how much do you work out my own mother and sister have said nothing to me and went nuts about her I just don't get it I started at 250s and now weigh 180 why don't people comment about it I don't know I dont want to be jealous but enough was enough I want some credit too i quess.

shackdog · 06-24-2006, 08:13 PM

Well first let me say this, giver yourself a huge pat on the back, self appraisal is the right thing, dont worry what others say or dont say, you are a success and are doing fantastic. I look at it this way, I have heard it all from those around me all my life, every comment you can imagine, and you know what, the only people they truly hurt are themselves. This took me a long time to understand but it is so true.

You are doing great and they cant stand it, so when they dont acknowledge the fact they know this bothers you and this is what they are trying to do, get under your skin again without even knowing it. Stay focused and do it for one person.YOU YOU YOU

Angel Eyes · 06-24-2006, 08:21 PM

Hey, flower, put your before's and after's up on the thread and WE will be happy to tell you how hawt you look.

To heck with everyone else. Dog is right, give yourself some self appraisal.

You have lost an awsome amount of weight. Good for you girl!

bug · 06-25-2006, 09:49 AM

My family did the same thing when I lost weight on WW. I'd lost 70 lbs and my mom and gram never mentioned it. My aunt lost 10 on WW and they raved about how great she looked.

I think family's are just like that, totally oblivious. Also, if you see your mom and sister all the time they probably don't notice how dramatic the weight loss is. Be proud of yourself and what you've accomplished, even if you family is too dense to do it. ;)

JMO · 06-25-2006, 10:12 AM

I agree with Paulex, I want to see a before and after pic... I think that will also help you to see the results...

Pinkylee · 06-25-2006, 10:25 AM

I've never seen you, but I know you look great. Support from or lack of from our family is hard to take and difficult to understand. But it sure happens. A real mystery. I will be thinking of you today. I'm two weeks out and lost 10 pounds the first five days and now I lose and regain the same two pounds every other day! My Mother is my best and worst supporter. Can't understand why I'm not losing a pound a day! Trying to explain mushies and carbs just doesn't help. I hope I'm as successful as you are in weight loss 6 months from now. Congrats on all you have accomplished!!!!!

Woodys · 06-25-2006, 10:35 AM

If your friends know how you lost the weight then it may be just shear ignorance on their part.....unfortunately, there is a huge misconception out there about the band. A lot of people think that there is no work on our part to losing the weight when we have the band and therefore...they don't feel we deserve any credit for the loss.

Carol

DonnaB · 06-25-2006, 10:39 AM

You said she lost weight on diet pills? Maybe they were not saying anything about your weight loss because you did it through surgery. A lot of people see WLS as doing it "the easy way." If you did it the "easy way," that means she did it "the hard way." Obviously the hard way deserves more praise. Right?

If people KNEW how difficult it is to lose weight - even with a band - I don't think they'd make that kind of distinction. I really don't think they realize that fat people don't eat because they're hungry - we eat because we enjoy eating. That doesn't go away with WLS. The band helps us to eat less but we still want to eat every day all day. At least I do.

I understand how you're feeling. I've lost close to 40 pounds and my family hasn't mentioned it once. On the up side, I'M healthier, I'M happier, I'M going to live longer, I'M SUCCEEDING. Who cares if they ever notice.

Congratulations on your amazing weight loss. Condolences to your friend when she goes off the diet pills and regains all that weight. We all know it will happen.

***Susan*** · 06-25-2006, 11:13 AM

I agree with Woody's and Donna. Are they all aware you have the band. I think many people are still under the misconception that fat people are just that, fat and lazy. And, they believe if we have WLS it is because we are too lazy and taking the easy way out. Therefore, when we do lose the weight, they discredit us and don't acknowledge that we too have to work hard. They probably feel your friend did it "the right way" and therefore deserves praise. I know they are your friends and family, but really, it is basically ignorance on their part. Like Shackdog said, you know what you have done and you know you have worked hard to get there. As long as you are proud of what you are doing, and are healthier for it, that is all that matters. And, I agree, you need to post some pictures.

Good luck to you.

NJChick · 06-25-2006, 11:42 AM

IMHO they are all Jealous !!!! 70 lbs is awesome, I mean wholey smokes girl, thats like two huge bags of dog food.

People who are jealous can be cruel. More reason for you to get to goal and put on some cute clothes and strut your stuff... screw em, find folks who do support and complement you.

HarleyNana · 06-25-2006, 11:59 AM

JEALOUS AND ENVIOUS

Iulizbug · 06-25-2006, 12:03 PM

I have had the same thing happening to me at work and it bothers me too. A co-worker of mine hast lost about the same amt of weight as me but he did it THE HARD WAY with a diet plan and exercise so EVERYBODY talks about how he did it, how good he looks, etc. I wish people at work didn't know I had WLS b/c they think the LAP-BAND^® was the easy way out and they think it works like the bypass. With that mentality they think that I screwed up by getting the band and ask why I couldn't do it on my own like my co-worker did. They have no idea on how hard I have worked for every last lb I have lost. I just CAN'T WAIT until my co-worker starts gaining back his weight AGAIN in a few monthes and I am still thin and happy. Don't let 'em get to you!!! We are doing this for ourselves!!! :)

~Liz~
banded 03/10/06
Dr.Ortiz
241/194/150
5'7''

Banded Brenda · 06-25-2006, 04:05 PM

With me it is totally the opposite, my collegues are telling me how good I look, and constantly asking how much I have lost. I am down almost 30 lbs but includes presurgery weight loss. I haven't lost in 2 months and someone else in our office is on ww and has gone by me. I am happy for her, but it still stings as she is bragging about 50lbs off, and then tells me that she has clothes for me. From the beginning though I have made certain not to tell anyone how much weight is off because I didn't need the added pressure of their expectations, especially my family's. You see I have a brother, sister and cousin who had the bypass and lost very quickly. I just keep trying to remember that this is my surgery and not theirs.
We just need to keep remembering that chose the LAP-BAND^® and that we did it for us! Hence, the only person we need to please is us. So Kuddos to us all.:clap2: :clap2:

divanita2006 · 06-25-2006, 04:44 PM

I agree with DonnaB and the others. This is a life decision that reflects the love we have for ourselves. Some people will understand, some will be jealous, and some are just oblivious. I've been fortunate because I've attended the DFW LBT luncheons for the past three months, and I was banded three days ago.

If love, appreciation, and support is what you want and need, attend some of the meetings with other bandsters. You will find people who are proud of your accomplishments, and you can offer support to them as well.

nursenora16 · 06-25-2006, 05:01 PM

Women can be so cruel. I just found out that my best friend who has been supporting me from the beginning feels that I took the easy way out. (her exact words). She has never struggled with weight but like most women would like to lose a couple pounds so she has been exercising more than I have....but I've been losing the weight. I asked her what exactly has been easy about my journey......the diabetes from being obese?....painful surgery..an iv infiltrate...reaction to pain meds?....learning to re-eat with my band...pb's...being emotionally hungry and not able to feed it?.....Dealing with hers and everyone else's misconceptions about WLS?.......oh and don't forget the 20 thousand dollars I wiped out of savings. No, as we know...there is nothing easy about the bad..it is so true that it jealousy especially in this weight obsessed culture that we live.