Accepting My Current Weight

DeLarla · 08-03-2005, 12:59 PM

According to statistics, I am the perfect Bandster. Stats show that the Band will help you lose 1/2 of your extra weight, which is exactly what I did. I made it down to 243 at one point, but now I'm staying right around 250 no matter what I do. I've watched "normal" people, and I'm eating like a normal person but maintaining at 250.

I've been eating really well lately, but the numbers don't go down. I'm convinced that Mother Nature and the Angels and the Earth and the Powers that be want me to weigh 250, because life shouldn't be any harder than it already is. Sure, I could measure 2 ounces of tuna on a celery stalk and lose more weight, but for today I am a beautiful, plus-size 250 pound gal that eats much slower, much smaller, and much healthier than I have for a decade.

I've maintained an approximate 65 (SIXTY-FIVE) whopping pounds of fat loss. That's incredible. Just for today, I accept who I am. Most of you will think that 250 is way too heavy, but let's remember that I'm a giant at 5'10" tall, so 250 to me is like 200 to you.

Would anyone like to ride along with me on the Acceptance Train?

NJChick · 08-03-2005, 01:11 PM

From one 5'10" 250 lb gal to another BRAVO :)

**Alexandra** · 08-03-2005, 01:20 PM

Hey, lady, I'm with you! There is NO DOUBT that being my current weight beats the CRAP out of where I came from, so even if it's not anywhere near an "ideal" weight I'm very happy with it for now. There's no room in our lives for self-hatred, no way, no how. :)

Thinjen · 08-03-2005, 01:21 PM

You go girl!! I'm also 5'10"-currently weigh 270. I'm still waiting on my band. The reason I want the band is to be healthy. Every joint in my body hurts and my doc says I have a 20% chance of having a heart attack in the next 10 years (I'm only 32). To be honest, I probably wouldn't get the band if I were in good health at my current weight. This addiction has to be treated like recovery for any other addiction...one day at a time. I applaud your ability to love you today. I won't get on the train today....we'll see what tomorrow holds.

Marimaru · 08-03-2005, 01:23 PM

I've been learning to do the same thing for myself. I'm not halfway to goal yet, but I've been stuck for some time for whatever reason ('whatever' being not counting calories and probably eating a 'maintenance level' instead of a losing level) but I've recently found myself noticing the difference that everyone else noticed some months back. I think my brain is finally catching up. I've also accepted the idea that more often than not, I'm not losing. I sit at one weight for a while, then a few lbs drop, then I sit for a while, etc. I'm finally okay with this as well. Getting on the scale and seeing the same number doesn't instantly turn me bitter anymore.

That said, I think it's incredibly awesome that you have maintained your loss for this long without having your port and fills and whatnot. I don't believe that I could do that now if I were to go through the same thing.

divaliciousdee · 08-03-2005, 01:56 PM

Well from a 5'9 gal 250 sounds great. I went to my doctor and he asked me what would be my goal weight and I said 220lb. The nurse said why 200lbs your bmi will still be over normal. I told her I was born abnormal so normal is not a way of life. Dysfunction has been my experience for a while! LOL When you are 336lbs, 250lbs is great! To maintain 65lbs is fantabuluous! I would like to say that I enjoy all of your posts , you are very inciteful and funny as all get out! I am glad i found this site!

Mita · 08-03-2005, 01:58 PM

I am with you Lady I am never going to reach my goal and I am happy where I am at right now. 71lbs and a year later I am so happy to have lost that much with my band.

vinesqueen · 08-03-2005, 02:15 PM

It's pretty funny. Well funny in an interesting way. I decided 20 years ago that I would accept whatever size I was.

I've been able to maintain this for most of my life, this acceptance of the imperfect me. I have gotten to the point in my life where I'm not satisified though. I'm less than 5 months banded and find my dis-satisfaction growing. I find myself full of anger, not sure why.

DeLarla · 08-03-2005, 02:16 PM

I still believe and support and praise the band, but now I can let go of this huge sigh of relief knowing all you awesome people feel just as beautiful.

I'm sticking with my own theory (still waiting for a science award on this one.) But the world has to weigh a certain amount, so any and all weight we lose gets piled onto other poor unsuspecting skinnies. If I keep losing, my friends have to get fat (sorry, but this theory doesn't allow us to direct the fat only to our enemies.)

So, we are saving Earth from spinning off its axis and flying into another galaxy. We are super heros!

Marimaru · 08-03-2005, 02:51 PM

That is awesome. I now subscribe to the theory of DeLarlaism.

When I tell my mom this, she is going to want to know if I can direct my fat into her boobs. LOL

NJChick · 08-03-2005, 03:18 PM

I'd like to direct my fat to everyone that has looked at me with disgust. Phoooie I spit on you !!! LOLOL snort ~~ I always said and I believe, watch what you so despise because it will wind up in your very own house.

LETS BURN OUR BRA'S !!!!!!

porclndoll · 08-03-2005, 03:29 PM

NJChick...
BURN OUR BRAS.....What are you asking for a national disaster! Mines big enough to light up all of New York and possibly New Jersey!! GOOD THOUGHT ~ LETS DO IT! The taxes here (ny) suck anyways! ehehehehehehehe

DeLarla...I have only known you a short time, but it is in my humble opinion that if you weighed 105,250,or 450 pounds you would be a beautiful person! Twisted at times, but still beautiful! Good for you and your new found attitude! Congratulations on the 65 pounds GONE!
TTYL

**Alexandra** · 08-03-2005, 03:54 PM

I can think of a particular skinny-minny who deserves a bit of my lost weight. Great theory!! :cheeky

DeLarla · 08-03-2005, 04:04 PM

I come here and just feel better and better. And better and better. Every time I think I should take a break from LBT, ya'll say the most incredible things to me. It's all you gals and your compliments that got me to this point of acceptance. I'm so proud of us.

And as soon as I get that science award for my theory of Delarlaism (bits of burrito flew out my nose with that one) then I'll have the resources for research and development of the ability to direct the fat on command.

Parvathi · 08-03-2005, 05:05 PM

DeLarla,

Good on you for being able to accept yourself. That's a huge feat as far as I'm concerned. I'm still working on it.

That said, I'm not quite ready to accept my weight as it is. I've wanted for longer than I can remember, to be a 'normal' weight. I don't want to be a size 4, just don't want to have these bingo arms and such lol.

I've only been on this roller coaster ride for a few months, but in that time, I've drawn much inspiration from your posts. No matter what size you are or what you decide, I reckon you're a beautiful person.