A thread for Single Bandsters

[wootsie73]

Originally Posted by supergenius818

As far as therapy goes....

I think therapy is great for people who want to go to therapy. If you are in therapy because someone dragged you there or because someone suggested it, well that may be just a waste of money.

I have been to therapy a couple of times. The first time was for me, and because I wanted to go (not for my weight) and it helped tremendously. The second time it wasn't nearly as helpful. I didn't think I had the problem, LOL, but I was trying to save a relationship. So going because you want the other person to change doesn't really work, LOL. Duh.

Well, I actually do think I need it. It's not so much that I don't want to go, I just don't want to go to someone I can't trust, if that makes sense. I know I have "issues" I need to work through, but I'm just afraid to let anyone in that far. Like I said, I know I need to go, it's just a fear of the unknown. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next month already, but they won't sit and talk to you like a therapist will.

I think I will do exactly what you suggested about the BD thing. I don't think I will distance myself from him if he doesn't take me out because we are just friends, but I won't take him out on his BD either. LOL Hist BD is 12 days after mine.

Joan

[supergenius818]

That is a very good idea about the birthday, LOL. And it isn't like you are dating him so no reason to distance yourself, as you say. You guys are friends regardless.

If you think you need therapy, then by all means GO for it. I don't know how to suggest finding a good therapist though. It isn't something you necessarily ask around for referrals for!

[MissyC]

Joan, it sounds like maybe you'd like to give therapy a try. I think thats a great idea and the nice thing about it is.....its not written in stone or a lifetime commitment. If you try it and feel its worthwhile for you....go for it. If you go and don't enjoy it/ feel uncomfortable or that its just a waste of time...just don't go back.
I too have thought of going/for my severe depression, but have never made the leap. I vascillate back and forth on my degrees of interest in pursuing it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
ps...thanks again for all the great info on protein drinks.

[Jodie_Warner06]

Good News Ladies and Gentlemen! I have a guy in my life...we are in an open relationship, which is best for both of our lifestyles at the moment....No I dont see this going too far into the future, but Im liking it right now! Hes been chasing me for months now, and I finally gave in......and dude its pretty sweet!

[KristiB]

Genius,

What do you have your doctorate in? My father finished up his a few years ago, in education. We call him Dr. B. It's so cool to tell people about it, I am so proud of him. He is a retired superintendant/principal, now working part time as a counselor. I have never wanted that much education, just the smarts of having it. Guess that probably won't happen soon, though, so I will stick with my associate's degree. It pays the bills.
I have lost around 40 lbs. since just before surgery on Nov. 1. So I know I am doing great, I guess I am in a hurry for all of this weight to come off. I worked out Really Really hard this weekend, did the treadmill for 45 minutes saturday and sunday both days, jogging and walking, and today I did the elliptical at the gym for almost 50 minutes, got my heart rate up to 150 or so for most of it. I finally am starting to lose a bit more, so I guess my body just needed that extra boost.

Jody,
You go girl! If he's been chasing you for that long, why is he letting you have an open relationship? Was that your idea, or his?

Joan,
I have only gone to marriage counseling(by my self, I might add), so I can't help you with any of that, I can tell you it does help a lot of people work things out. I know some doctors make their patients go to counseling about the lifestyle change, and the old and new eating habits, etc, before they will do lap band surgery on them. It may be a good idea, just to help figure out if you are an emotional eater, and what emotions usu. trigger the eating, or something like that. Personally I figured out on my own over the years that my eating is related to a few personal experiences(bad) that I have had. I can give you more info, but not on this public arena. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Charlotte,
Most of us like what we like, and don't really have any control over it. I am like you, tho, I don't want someone very overweight, I like em in shape, so it only goes along with the fact that I need to lose weight also. Welcome to our thread.

Okay, so I am going out this weekend with one of the construction workers. Woo Hoo!!! Most of you girls remember the workers, right? Don't know where we will go yet, but will keep you posted.

Kristi

[Jodie_Warner06]

I really dont know what to call it.....its open because I will flirt with other guys.....and I dont care if he does with other girls....I really prefer him not to have sex with them for fear of disease and that sort of thing.....but we are not technically dating.....more like consistently hooking up....which is fine, I dont need the stress of a real bf right now.....plus he's too much of a bad boy to try to tame lol! It more or less works in his favor of course lol, because Im not up to it all the time, and I like my alone time right now, so its no big.....however he has taken me to other worlds I never knew existed.....lol.....its a fun thing, its not a permenant thing.....Im sure that eventually my ex will probably step into my life again, and I will likely end up with him...

[supergenius818]

Jodie,
You go with your Boy Toy!

[streetracer24k]

Hi, cool thread here. I have not logged onto the boards since 10-30-2005, which was 4 days after my surgery. I am down 110 pounds. My current weight is 350 even. I was always kinda cool with the girls, but its getting scary how they are starting to come after me. A lot of the time, I dont realize it. I cannot imagine what its gonna be like when i drop below 300, and really trim out. I am definatly more at ease when it comes to meeting new girls now. I look foward to going out at every opportunity now. I continue to exercise daily and I am losing 10 lbs a month on average. My new favorite line is "I will look better every time you see me." People I have met in recent months agree 100%. If anyone has any questions for a cool 25 year old guy, feel free to shoot. I might drop by these forums a bit more frequently now. I have a feeling I will be needing a lot of advice, hehehe.

[wootsie73]

Originally Posted by Jodie_Warner06

I really dont know what to call it.....its open because I will flirt with other guys.....and I dont care if he does with other girls....I really prefer him not to have sex with them for fear of disease and that sort of thing.....but we are not technically dating.....more like consistently hooking up....which is fine, I dont need the stress of a real bf right now.....plus he's too much of a bad boy to try to tame lol! It more or less works in his favor of course lol, because Im not up to it all the time, and I like my alone time right now, so its no big.....however he has taken me to other worlds I never knew existed.....lol.....its a fun thing, its not a permenant thing.....Im sure that eventually my ex will probably step into my life again, and I will likely end up with him...

Hey Jodie,
What happened to the ex-stripper cop? I was hoping you would hook up with him. Just wondering....

[wootsie73]

Originally Posted by MissyC

Joan, it sounds like maybe you'd like to give therapy a try. I think thats a great idea and the nice thing about it is.....its not written in stone or a lifetime commitment. If you try it and feel its worthwhile for you....go for it. If you go and don't enjoy it/ feel uncomfortable or that its just a waste of time...just don't go back.
I too have thought of going/for my severe depression, but have never made the leap. I vascillate back and forth on my degrees of interest in pursuing it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
ps...thanks again for all the great info on protein drinks.

Missy,
I think I will go into therapy, at least try it. I will ask my PCP who she would recommend for me. I've loved all of the docs she's sent me to, so I trust her a lot. As I've said, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next month for my depression/possible bipolar, but I want a therapist I can talk to and let out all of my inner secrets that I won't tell ANYONE! I'm just that way, so I keep a lot inside that I probably shouldn't, but I do....

Good news everyone! Donny came over today to see me and took me out to lunch. :clap2::clap2::clap2: We really had a great time and he brought me my Christmas presents since I haven't seen him since before Christmas. I gave him his presents to and he really seemed to like them. That made me feel really good. I loved mine too. He gave me a cute bear, drinched in his cologne, and some cologne that smells really good. I have to add that he has to come during the day because our roads are still icy here from the 11 inches of snow we got over the weekend. Plus, he just had eye surgery last week, so he can't see well enough to drive at night right now. Anyway, I think I'm starting to care to much and that scares me, especially since he tells me he isn't interested in a relationship with anyone right now. That's ok, I'm really not either, because I want to have my surgery and get my life in order before I get into anything serious. He did almost get jumped today though! LOL He smelled sooooooooooooooo good! I had a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[supergenius818]

Joan,
Well I am glad you and Donny had a nice lunch and you got your Christmas presents. Enjoy the feelings of your crush! Maybe when you are ready then he will be ready.

[supergenius818]

Yeah I want to know about this ex stripper cop too. That sounds like a juicy story. LOL...

[wootsie73]

Hey Streetracer,
Welcome to our thread! If you've read the entire thread, you will see that we are a crazy bunch of women here. This is my favorite thread on the site, so I just keep coming back.

WOW! Down 110 lbs! That's sooooooooooooo wonderful for you. I am glad you are feeling better and are starting to look good.

You can also ask us questions if you want to. I'm not sure I will be helpful, but I think some of the younger women will be.

Joan

[supergenius818]

Wootsie, haven't you ever heard that experience and treachery will beat out youth and beauty every time?

HAAAAAAAAAAA

[supergenius818]

Oh, and I know I am not being very helpful.... I just think you probably could offer good advice to a lot of people.