shellyj.

hey doll!

when i posted this morning i just read the original reply's, i was in a hurry. i went through just now and read all of the post and let me just say i am so happy for you! i hope things continue to go so good! and :clap2: NOT GAINING ROCKS!!!! you'll be one hot biker babe soon! my mom and dad are bikers and my mom owns more leather than i ever will!

i know what you mean by 'light' i no longer live a life of drama. i still have
excitement mind you....but its healthy!!!! there are so many things i dont EVER have to worry about anymore and it is very freeing!

the only real baggage i have from my break-up (1.5 yr ago) is some guilt feelings but i think its displaced anger. i think we are taught to feel guilty so its the easiest emotion to feel. i dont feel too guilty though because i 'know' what it is. i realisticly have no reason to feel guilt-yet i do. i think it will pass as i forgive myself for wasting 7 yrs of my life with him. its like my life took a wrong turn and i was on a backroad from hell. i finally have found my way though!


in my first reply i was trying to quote your original post:

but it came out just the text 'Was it a bad relationship and you just got the courage to get out?'

it looks like i was asking you but i was answering you. so now that time has passed you were able to answer your own question which is pretty cool too.


michelle

vinesqueen

Hey Doll! Very cool about your son, I know how hard it is to get them settled especially after something tramatic, and my son didn't even have the issues yours does.

Sending you good energy so the mediation works out. That was one good thing about my break-up with my ex-husband. He didn't just leave me, he left our son. Which was a heart break, but it was a mixed blessing. I never had to fight over custody, just support (yeah, I haven't seen seen a dime in support since '97. )

Anyway, excellent news on the bike stuff. For my DH as a reward for getting the band installed I enrolled him in the motorcycle saftey course as a surprise. Excellent NSV

__________________
3/14/05 banded
Never give up. Never surrender.--galaxy quest

Breaking the laws of thermodyamics daily

My Journal http://vinesqueen.blogspot.com/
Cushing's help site http://www.cushings-help.com/intro.htm

Liamaroo

Hello, all. I just finished reading all the previous posts, and have to say I came on board to ask the very question Doll did and was happy to see that this thread was already started. My husband and I struggle, have struggled since the beginning. Basically, he is a wonderful man with some serious problems. The simple scenario is that he just won't grow up.

We both struggle with our weight, and while I am preop for the band, he is resistant to the idea. I don't push because it's a personal choice, but I so hoped he'd have it done. I get frustrated because I will have to pay out of pocket for mine, but his would most likely be covered because the surgeon can repair a hernia at the same time. He's diabetic, and always too tired to participate in life and marriage. Since we speak freely of intimacy here, I can say that we have dropped down to NO sex whatsoever. Despite my weight, I am confident with my sexuality, but my husband just isn't interested. I know it isn't me, that it's a host of other psychological and physical causes; but, it doesn't change the fact that I'm alone in what's supposed to be a 2-person gig.

I heard somewhere (but haven't researched it for myself yet) that the divorce rate after successful bariatric surgery is high. He knows and I know that what I want most is a child. If all goes well with the band, I will be able to conceive in 1-2 years. And he knows that at age 33, I don't have time to wait for him to get it together.

Besides my physical weight, I have carried all the financial and emotional weights of my marriage. Have to say it's made me stronger, though I'm less and less willing to go through life alone and be responsible for a 38-yr-old child.

To all of you out there who are struggling, I highly recommend counseling. Even if the end result is still divorce, or if you are already divorced, I can't stress enough how important having a counselor has been for me. Luckily, my husband has agreed to go, and we do a combination of couple and individual sessions with our counselor.

Well, that's my story.