Suddenly Single

terriann50 · 12-09-2005, 09:06 AM

I know how you feel I have a special child also and I get told some of the same things you are describing. My husband tells me I am only worried about myself and he tries to tell me I am neglecting my children (I also have a 17 year old). He is constantly telling me I have changed and I am not the same person he married and nothing I do seems to be the right thing in his eyes. He is my second husband and not the father of my children. My husband is disabled since he had a major heart attack 2 years ago so I work every day, I work at least 50 hours a week if not more and I was working out 5 days a week after work getting home between 6:30 and 7 every evening.(since Hurricane Rita I was working 7 days a week 12 hours a day and didnt have the time to workout anymore but am fixing to start back) Anyway reading your story just hit home alot for me. But I am trying to hang in there because I know that some of his frustrations is that he cannot work and to add more to it we cant live in our house due to the Hurricane so our stress level here lately is up 100%.

Anyway I am glad you are getting out on your own and I know it will work out for you and you will be much happier. Life is too short to live miserable and i say that to my husband all the time and of course that just starts another whole discussion about how I have changed.

Mita · 12-09-2005, 09:24 AM

Hope you are doing better Doll.

BP - Why did you delete your post??? I have been thinking about it.
It sounded like my husband asking that question.
My Husband is always looking for attention and anytime he gets near me I pull away. It is not that I do not want to get romantic with him I day dream sometimes about all the things we could do but when it comes time I always say I am not in the mood or I am tired (you know the excuses) And here is the reason - I do not feel attractive in my body and I do not want him touching this lump or that roll. How sad Huh
Just maybe that is what she is feeling and with a little help from you she could get past it.. Now I for one feel if my Dh is going to touch me start by holding my hand and not going for other parts of my body too fast. Make believe it is the first date.
Well anyway too find a guy that is sincere is too good to be true and there were alot of good post from you men.

vinesqueen · 12-09-2005, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the best me

Yeah, I heard on another thread there was a leather bustierre with a matching whip involved? For HIM, not her, and there's a link to some company in San Francisco who makes them for big guys. Yeah, when you don't have the whole truth...those rumors run rampant...I can't keep up!! LOL

Well, my big big DH ordered a custome set of motorcycle chaps... and we are going to San Fransisco in January, I suppose I could almost convince him to wear them buttless. You know, we could stroll the Castro District... You know, I almost posted something that was TMI, and something that only 3 guys on this board could relate to... So I'll just stop :D

But there is a very stong likely hood that we will not do this. But we could.... but we won't.

vinesqueen · 12-09-2005, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbame20022003

Now I for one feel if my Dh is going to touch me start by holding my hand and not going for other parts of my body too fast. Make believe it is the first date.

Yes, yes, yes!

porclndoll · 12-09-2005, 09:52 AM

Hey hey hey guys....when did we start talking about leather, whips and gags??? I missed out~~ What the hell!!! I do a character at the Haunted House...her name is Temptress...Got her name off a XXX movie....shes a WITCH with a captl B!! She carries a BIG WHIP...and yes, she wears the happy boots. I tell the customers the rules of the place, no touching the actors, no touching the props, no smoking inside...blah blah blah and if they dont follow the rules, they get sent back to ME! I say IS THAT CLEAR...and they all whisper back, yeaaa.. I scream at them I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU NEED TO ANSWER ME YESS TEMPTRESS...and they all scream it back~ I also have a friend splatter fake blood on me, so they see the beating that the last customer got that fell out of line ehehehehehehehehehehe, sick woman I am...but I have fun!

This being out on my own is actually getting easier. I could sit here all day and list the things that aren't right, that aren't fair....but why? I just know what I have to do and where its all going. My son is acting out a bit, but I just gotta be persistant and patient with him....and I know this is the right thing in my heart. I dont deserve to be unhappy. I dont deserve to hear Im a bad mother, when I know I have dedicated my LIFE to my son. And yes I have changed since we got married even since we met, but we met when I was 17....no 33 year old adult woman should feel or act or have the same attitude as a 17 year old! So yea, I did change...but all for the better. He didn't realize that because I was not under his rule any more...I know when the time is right I will be with someone who appreciates me for who I am now!!

Okay guys, the next time we talk bondage, would you please lemme know sooner? :)
TTYL

"Just" Paul · 12-09-2005, 11:29 AM

You GO GIRLFRIEND!

I don't think I'd wanna piss you off, you'd kick my a$$...

Then again...

heh heh heh

porclndoll · 12-09-2005, 01:44 PM

Well, If I didn't really kick your A$$ I could really really really make you think I could, so that would be enough. I carry myself well~ And I raise one heck of a wicked eyebrow!!! And whats with the "Then again..." comment??? Hummmm??? U brave enough? muahahahahahah

terriann50 · 12-09-2005, 03:23 PM

Amen to that you are correct. We do dedicate our lives to our children but there are times when we need time away to just be ourselves and there is nothing at all wrong with that! I can so relate to what you are saying.

"Just" Paul · 12-09-2005, 11:37 PM

Maybe I'd like a good A$$ kicking...

You don't know exactly what kind of a guy I am.;)

heh heh heh

porclndoll · 12-10-2005, 11:44 AM

Eeeewe Big Paul....Are you a closette freek? I can't be the only creepy one out here~
muhahahahahahah

"Just" Paul · 12-11-2005, 10:42 AM

If I say either way, I'll destroy the mystery and mystique that defines "Big Paul".

:):)

porclndoll · 03-14-2006, 08:15 PM

Hey guys....Thought I would just update this post a bit. I have been outta the house now for ummm almost four months~ I haven't gainned a pound through this whole ordeal, which is a mirical. I didn't loose, BUT I DIDNT GAIN and thats what I am focused on. Now that I have my head out of the clouds a little bit...I am trying very hard to refocus on why I got this surgery, where I had hoped to be in a year, and what my next step is. The winter sucks. I dont come to life until Spring. Me and the ground hogs. ehehehehe. I got that last fill and it took me a while but I think I am regrouped now. I have been exercising every day and I have been real careful what I eat. I just can't give up the coffee...no way Jose' My scale shows a little loss...but I wont get back on it till I goto my doctors on the 31st
I have set a personal goal for myself...Gonna be one of them NSV's....I am going for my motorcycle permit and license. There is a course here that you can take for riding saftey and they help you get your license if you pass their course. I am really looking forward to it~ I am aiming to have this done by July of this year~ Then next year I will work on the motorcycle...unless I come across a cheap starter bike~ mauahahah

My son is actually setteling in finally. He knows this is home now. Thank god it was real ruff there for a while. He is sleeping good now. He doesn't cry when we park the car to come here.....He knows...which is a load off my mind. He is going to be okay.

We have a custody trial coming up if we can't get anything done thru mediation....thats at the end of this month. I am sure things will be okay, so Im not sweating it too much.

I am going to see KORN at the end of this month~~~ I CAN'T WAIT. I bought a corsette top to wear and I am going totally goth! I can't wait and I will post pictures! (If I take pictures that can be posted muahahah)

Okay guys....I will talk to you all soon
Good night

shellyj. · 03-15-2006, 11:49 AM

Was it a bad relationship and you just got the courage to get out?

yes. i was with an alcoholic for 7 years and my father is an alcoholic so it seemed likely i would end up on the co-dependent end of the relationship. well NOT NO MORE!!!!

i knew it was a bust from the beginning and i dont know why i stayed for so long? i did love him but in a different way than the love of your life.

anyhow- healthy relationship is full steam ahead! things are the way they should be with Calvin. growing up in a alcoholic family i never knew things could/would be this way! i am truly happy!

porclndoll · 03-15-2006, 05:16 PM

michelle,
yea it was a bad relationship. Not healthy for anyone. and one day I had a moment of clarity and started to pack~ On top of being an alcoholic he has manic depression too...so it was lovely. Never knew who he was going to be and I was always on egg shells. Since I left I have never been soooo LIGHT...I dont have the stress of that relationship anymore and I am free to be me! Its a wonderful thing~ I wainted years to do this...and in those years kept saying OOO it will be better, tomorrows a new day...blah blah blah..DIDN'T HAPPEN untill I left. My head is where it needs to be to lose these last fiddy pounds and reach my goal. My head is straight...Its back to where it should be....
Talk to you later

live2canoe · 03-15-2006, 05:34 PM

Doll - you crack me up! I always love reading your posts.

I am so glad that everything is going well for you. I am most happy that your son seems to be adjusting well. That has to be a load off your mind.

You seem to be truly happy! I can tell from the way you are really looking forward to things in your life. I love KORN (yes, even old people like me enjoy their music) and I'll bet you look HOT for that concert.

Good luck with the motorcycle thing. I can totally see you on a Harley, all gothed out riding down the street in a leather bustier!

Keep fighting the good fight!