any single gals out there???

restrict2008 · 01-27-2008, 03:26 PM

How has the band fit into your dating life?
I am worried about the first dinner and when to bring it up!
Any thoughts?

jovi2673 · 01-27-2008, 03:38 PM

I have wondered the same thing. I have been out to dinner with people who didn't know I had lap band and it hasn't been too bad. However, I wonder how it will work as I start seeing someone more seriously. When is the best time to tell someone about it??? I'm not sure.

Skinny_Jill · 01-27-2008, 04:45 PM

I am a single woman but I am not dating at the moment. If I were dating I would not tell someone until I got to know him a little better. I'm not ashamed of my band but I don't want to discuss my weight or weight loss efforts on my dates.

purplegirl1818 · 01-27-2008, 05:10 PM

doesnt make any difference, im 17, never even dated a guy... :-/

TallgirlTX · 01-27-2008, 06:30 PM

Hiya,
single and dating here.

For first dates try going for coffee or drinks so that you do not have to worry about what you can or can't eat on the date. If you continue with someone and you like them... then tell them. If they think its weird too bad for them.
I find its easier to tell them then to have them ask you why you aren't having anything to drink at dinner. Or they think you didn't like the restaurant they chose because you only ate 1/4 of your meal.

3.30.07 Self pay
Dr. Hadar Spivak
310/223/210

KarenG. · 01-27-2008, 07:48 PM

I am about 5 1/2 months post-op and have decided to start dating again. I worry about the food thing because I am pretty restricted right now. I am worried about intimacy because of the scars. I am working on my internet profile right now. Wish me luck!

restrict2008 · 01-27-2008, 08:12 PM

good luck and congrats on your weight loss- dont worry about your scars- loads of people have scars!!!!

faithmd · 01-27-2008, 10:16 PM

I'm not single, but I have told hardly a soul about my band, and can't see that you would need to.

There is a GREAT thread on here (and it's quite long) for single bandsters, they have likely discussed what you are asking about at some point. Here's a link to that thread. I hope it helps:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/threa...ndsters-25494/

jtag10_4 · 01-27-2008, 10:40 PM

I was 2 weeks post op - just started mushies, when I was asked by a guy to go to dinner. Hahaha! There was no way I could get away with not saying anything, and I definitely didn't want to postpone and have him interpret it some other way...so I told him a couple of days before the date..he's a big guy and he was actually really interested in the band for himself! But we went to dinner, he knew he'd probably have to eat most of my dish, I had fish and flaked it really well and I had a great date. My life isn't stopping because of this....it's just getting started!

The best part was later during the show I was drinking water and he leaned over and said "don't overdo it, you might be full" (on water)...the same level of humor I had with the whole event - perfect!

And, if they don't like it - their not worth it...we all have our "stuff" - at least we are proactively getting a handle on ours!

Good luck!

Squishee · 01-28-2008, 04:16 AM

Wow, that was really brave! Im conciously not dating at the moment, I'm only 2 months post op and I want to really concentrate on this at the moment but it is something I've thought about.
When is the right time to tell. Does it really matter, can you leave it too late to say? I've spoken to a friend of mine about this who'se had her boobs done and see when she brought it up with her fiancee. She said she didnt feel comfortable to talk about it till she knew he was going to be serious and that was fine as everyone has a few things that they don't go screaming from the rooftops about anyway and I figure she's right. It's just that I'm so sensitive about this band right now I didn't even see it like that. The way I'm looking at it I'm not going to make it a big deal, if a situation arises I'll be honest but if not I don't think I'll tell until I know its serious. As for dinner dates I'd stick to soups and pretend I'd had a late lunch!

goodtimes · 01-29-2008, 01:57 PM

skinny-jill i agree with you. some things are just best to be left alone until the right time come. question, so what would happen if you were serious, would you tell them then?

Skinny_Jill · 01-29-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodtimes

skinny-jill i agree with you. some things are just best to be left alone until the right time come. question, so what would happen if you were serious, would you tell them then?

I would absolutely tell them. If I really like the guy and we've been on a few dates and he is going to meet my friends I would tell him. I wouldn't want him to find out from friends.

nurseoffaith · 01-31-2008, 10:19 AM

I would be up front, most people I'm sure want care they will just consider you a cheap date lol

Nathalie · 01-31-2008, 01:34 PM

In reading these responses, I'm just tickled to see how everyone handles their band differently!

I am a little over a year post op. I date. And I haven't told anyone anything. I am 39, and have scars from a gall bladder removal, a C-section and my Lap Band. No one has asked about my scars. And when I go out, I just say "I'm eating light." So I have a house salad with mashed potatoes or something that won't get caught up in my band and I won't slime on.

My band is a private thing for me. I've only told 5 or 6 people in the entire world about it! There's no way I'd tell a guy I'm just starting to date. I haven't figured out how to address it with a serious partner, but it would be months into the dating. Probably when he asked to see my family albums and "fat Nat" showed up. *laugh*

Nathalie

restrict2008 · 01-31-2008, 01:44 PM

I am with u nat- only my family knows and a few best friends- I probably wont mention it until I am really comfortable. My best friend's husband thinks I should bring it up right away or its deceitful, well i say poo on that- no one empties out their closet of personal stuff on a first date- he is whack
ps. i like phatnat better!