Telling or Not

Road Queen · 05-07-2005, 09:51 PM

Have you told co-workers, friends, etc? If not, how do you explain that you are not available for going out (eating or drinking) for a few months. I am realizing how much my social life in town revolves around food.

Since deciding to have surgery I have told my boss, 1 co-worker and a couple of friends. They have been supportive but apprehensive about my participation in something that is new in town. And of course the usual - "can't you just lose it on your own" comment. If I could lose it and keep it off, I would.

Just looking for some insight from the others who have traveled this path before me...

the best me · 05-07-2005, 11:09 PM

I'm a tell-all. Not a good personal secret-keeper. Just about everyone knows. I find it easy not to tell people I don't see all the time. Strangely, it makes me feel like I'll take up too much space, getting in to all of it. Plus, it's easier now that I'm not so sore and in "recovery mode". I don't HAVE to tell to explain something. I just comment about watching what I'm eating.

It's hard to see what people are thinking. I just take comfort in knowing that I know more than they do, about me, the Band, the surgery, all that I have been through. The "can't you just lose it on your own" comments would bug me. I know folks are probably thinking it. More power to 'em. The ones close to me, who's opinions I value, understand a little better and bother to find out about it.

Educate those you care about knowing, ignore the rest or just leave them out of it.

I did a search and found some interesting threads with some neat discussion. I hope you find it helpful. Let us know what you think!

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthrea...ghlight=secret

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthrea...ghlight=secret

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthrea...ghlight=secret

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthrea...ghlight=secret

debri85 · 05-07-2005, 11:12 PM

Road Queen,

I've told everybody...I find it easier that way....besides when I lose all my weight, I want everyone to know how I did it...for the others who are struggling..

**Jack** · 05-07-2005, 11:35 PM

...I was surprised to learn how much of my eating behaviour was shaped by my social life.....and so pleased to learn I could in fact have social events that DIDN'T revolve around my eating...

you will find a way to manage this....and I've told mostly everyone that I want to know and not those for various reasons I haven't wanted to tell....this is a small town and I expect to hear a number of speculative reasons for me wasting away...so I just figured a select cadre of the informed would be adequate to spread at least a small bit of the real deal...

good luck, and don't fret about the social life...it will come to you what to do and how to do it....

dallasdoll · 05-07-2005, 11:58 PM

I told my friends... and i am glad because i dont like to keep secrets... BUT... they stare and watch me while I am eating when we are all out to lunch.... like i am a sideshow freak or something.. they said that they are curious about how much i can eat adn are just curious... but.. it is starting to bug me.

coyotegirl · 05-08-2005, 12:30 AM

I am a royal BIG MOUTH when it comes to my surgery. I love to talk about it to anyone who will listen. I started out saying I would not tell a single person but my mother. That did not last long at all. Everyone at work soon found out and then I sent out a e-mail to ALL my family telling them all about it. But I understand that it is a very personal decission and not everyone wants to tell.

princess_n_thep · 05-08-2005, 12:39 AM

I tried to hide it at first from my work. I found myself lying a lot and I definitely didn't like that at all. More than anything I think I was embarrassed that I had to go to extremes to lose it and keep it off.

So in the end, I told them all. That way the truth is out in the open. They have all been VERY supportive. I thought because of my line of work (police) things were going to be sarcastic and critical but nope! They are the best!!!

paula · 05-08-2005, 11:35 AM

Ive chosen a select few to tell.

Being this far down the road, Ive realized that the people that know about my band, tend to "watch" me eat. Another thing is people that I havent seen in a couple of months expect to see me so much smaller... so Ive regretted telling a few, and so happy with not telling some. The one thing my surgeon told me for my initial cosultation is that folks that get the band are able to get away with telling NOONE - he is right!

alatina · 05-08-2005, 11:41 AM

No one hardly knows-my fiancee,best friend and 1 sister(she is a great secret keeper so my other 6 siblings will never here it from her)are the only ones who do.
I havent even told my daughter and she lives in my home!!!

Angeleyes · 05-09-2005, 05:48 PM

I had my husband with me so he knows, I told one friend and one of my four children. No one has noticed any changes. I have had problems losing, only 10 pounds but I am only out 5 weeks. I am glad no one at work knows because they would be watching me eat.

La_madam · 05-09-2005, 05:55 PM

I have told everyone and I am proud of it, I have helped so many others,twon of my customers have all ready gotten the band and right now I have 2 different customers of mine who are going to be banded this month because of me telling them all about it and giving them web sites to research. Telling people for me keeps me focused, accountable and motivated, I get great pleasure knowing I have helped many people. Having my friends and co workers know makes me accountable when we are out to dinner,lunch or in a social setting I make better food choices,I want them to see me as successful with my band. this is just my personal feeling on it, I want everyone to know, I want the word out on the Lap Band. We all have our reasons for telling or NOT telling, these are just mine :)

paula · 05-09-2005, 06:00 PM

sorry for this interuption........

But excuse me "Ms La Madame with only 9 pounds to go"... Lbt needs some updates from you in your size 10's ;). ONLY 9 more pounds?? Michelle - YOU MAKE ME SICK!