Psychological Help??

marys · 07-12-2006, 11:57 AM

Has anyone advice / experience with seeking counseling with the lap band? I am realizing how deep my food problems/issues are with the band - especially what a hard head I am. Even with the band I continually make the same mistakes over and over. For example, I will try to eat something and if it works I push it until I pb. Even right now i ate a small piece of sushi at 9:30am and I'm pbing - I know after this second fill I am really tight in the am and should stick to a protein drink but i did it. I;m trying not to hate myself but i'm disgusted and wonder what in the world will it take fo rme to learn??? A slipped band - i don't want that but i'm afraid i'm one of those who never learn. I'm open to counseling but what kind and who should i look for? thanks, mary

PhotoNut · 07-12-2006, 12:03 PM

Wow, this is a wide open question with an answer I think you might have to find on your own.

I've been toying with the idea of doing this as well and I know how daunting the whole thing seems. I know there are counselors who specialize in eating disorders and there are many different levels of qualifications in the counselling field. Do you have a primary care Dr that you could talk to and perhaps get a referral to someone? You might have to visit a few different ones until you find someone who you feel comfortable with and also someone who challenges you.

those_eyes2004 · 07-12-2006, 01:10 PM

I had the same problems...I used to even hide and cry wondering what I had done to myself...I had a great love affair with food...And it seemed my husband at the time was having great love affairs with everyone in town...lol...Gotta laugh about it now...My therapist simply had me replace food with other things...More positive things...Eventually I changed my whole thinking on food...Now I only eat til I have that full feeling and I'm done...Good luck and It will get easier...Windy

marys · 07-12-2006, 04:29 PM

Thank you all who responded - this is what i love about this site - so much support and help - esp when one really needs it. I will begin looking for a counselor with experience helping those of us with eating issues and keep all posted.

lins12 · 07-12-2006, 05:00 PM

A counselor will help FOR SURE! I LOVE mine. She has taught me about acceptance and about what I am trying to feed.

Overall, eating for emotional unfullfilled needs or because I am really hungry. When I was younger I ate to show myself love and attention. It worked then...does not work now. I have to find "other things to do" as was mentioned before...but most of all I try to be kind to myself. Figure out what is going on with me and be tender to myself. SOunds cheesy but it works. When I don't take care of myself....I start to binge eat at night.

SO...take care of you...and go see a couselor.

GOOD LUCK!
Lindsay

marys · 07-12-2006, 05:29 PM

Thanks Lindsay - And, it doesn't sound cheesey to me at all - I think most of us here eat for other reasons then hunger (or as my friend says some people eat to live and others live to eat!) I'm actually excited now about seeing someone because I know I can do it with a little more help. I'm glad you got the hellp you needed with a counseler - keep up the good work. mary

Marimaru · 07-12-2006, 07:13 PM

I thought about looking for a councelor that dealt with eating issues, but then I decided just to go with a regular councelor. I figure I'll get a handle on what is BEHIND the eating issues, and if they don't go away after that, then I'll tackle them.

I've been going for about 6 weeks now and it's already helped alot. On the one hand, we're stirring up stuff that I had all nicely put away to never be touched again, but on the other hand, hopefully I can get rid of it so it's just not there anymore!

J-RO · 07-13-2006, 11:07 AM

I sought out a counselor about a month before being banded in Mexico. I established rapport with her before surgery, which helped A LOT! I continue to see her. It was one of the smartest things I've done in my life ever!

I've gone through counseling before for my eating/emotional issues and always made some progress, but returned back to my old habits of relying on food. This time is different. This time I am not able to turn to food when I am sad, so the band is forcing me to work through my issues.

I am now almost 4 weeks post op. I continue to see a therapist to work on my "issues" and plan to do so until they are no longer an issue, simply memories. :)

juliegeraci · 07-13-2006, 11:55 AM

I'm currently not in therapy while being banded, but I am starting to read books. I pick up "why women hate their bodies" yesterday and a book about overcoming food addiction using the 12 steps. Both seems to be good, but the 2nd one is a better read. I am working on my head simulateoulsy through positive imagery and talk. That is the best way. You can do it Mary. Its a journey not a destination. We all fight the food gremlins. You are no different. I wish you the best of luck. Always be good to yourself, there are enough people in the world that can beat us up. Don't beat yourself up. Food will always be there for you. Good luck.

saul · 07-13-2006, 05:27 PM

Mary youre not alone.

I was banded March 6, 2006 and thought that this was the easy way out, little by little I started supplementing my food addiction with other bad habits that had been dormant inside of me. I strated gambling heavy again, I started drinking again and I started lusting again. I realized that by blocking the ability to overeat all I did was supress one addiction physically and bring out all the others that were in me but lay dormant.

I started therapy about 2 weeks ago, I go to 12 step programs and I am coping "day by day" as they say. I will not preach the 12 step teaching here but I will tell you that if it was not for getting myself into therapy I probably would have been thrown out of my house, not see my kids and lose all my business. So bottom line is get the help you need...theres no shame.

jgandg · 07-13-2006, 09:00 PM

I've been in therapy for almost one year, and for the last 6 months or so we talk a lot about my food issues. I plan on continuing for a long time. My therapist has no special training in eating disorders, just a PhD in Psych. It helps me immensely, since I think 1/2 of my weight issue is psychological.

marys · 07-14-2006, 03:03 PM

Well I have some counselors lined up to 'interview' and we will have a lot to talk about! I just came back from an emergency trip to san diego/Tijuana to see my doc I had to be unfilled and then he kept in 1.8. I couldn't stop throwing up and couldn't keep anything - not even tsp of water down - very painful heartburn, etc. it was hell. Costly trip as i had to go outbound 1st class - wish i could've enjoyed it. on liquids for 8 days and maalox 3x a day. feel better tho embarassed that i caused this.

Dianechef · 07-14-2006, 03:26 PM

I second the counselor idea. My opinion? Search for one who KNOWS about eating disorders or has been overweight or IS overweight themselves. I spoke with our regular counselor (family counselor) about some issues & it didn't seem as if he quite understood. #1 He has never been overweight. #1 He didn't seem to understand that when you LOSE weight you have to deal with lots of emotions. He just figured my life was so much better since losing weight & I felt like he thought I shouldn't have any complaints.

When I hit a 50 lb loss & others were starting to comment on me, I was not sure how I felt. I have said this in other posts - but, I'll tell it here too. I have always been the funny, fat girl. It was my whole identity & now that I had lost the weight, I was so lost as to where I fit in. People were calling me HOT & SEXY. I wanted to hide sometimes!! There really are a lot of issues you deal with when you lose weight! I'm getting better & am used to all the great comments. I love the new me. :) :)

princess_n_thep · 07-20-2006, 08:13 PM

Ya know, I am not sure if it was lap band related or because of my previous career. I just find that emotional dumping on a professional helps. Sometimes it is good to just go "blahhhhhhhhhhhh" all over their office floor and leave it there. Makes me feel better. And it is much better than dumping on my friends and family. Although I know they would listen if I needed them too. I just need to talk and get it out sometimes. No advice needed, I just need to tell someone about it. And not penting up the stress means I eat less and don't hoard the food around me!

I also value my massage therapist. Worth every penny in my mind!

j.s. · 07-20-2006, 08:36 PM

My psych counselor (who had to okay me for surgery) told me I could come back at any time I needed help. I am very much like Dianechef, that funny fat girl and then all of a sudden its like what the heck are with the compliments.... I had issues with this last time I did a major weight loss and packed my pounds right back so I would be "safe" again. I know this is an issue for me and when I start feeling "unsafe" I am going back to see that counselor to work on this (she says she can fix me!!). I think asking for help when you need help is the thing to do. Your fixing the outside, it cant hurt to fix the inside too.