Just venting ~ WLS not work ?!?

Laurinda · 07-02-2008, 10:20 PM

I was about fit to be tied today! I work with two other ladies that are both large ( about 300) So when I stared my lap band journey I never went on and on about it because I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. After my surgery I just did my thing and never made it a topic of conversation. Now almost 6 months later I have been very blessed to have lost 75 lbs. Here lately when we have patients come into the office they have made many nice comments about how good I look and "Wow you have lost so much weight" I thank them, smile and go about my business. ( not only do I not want to hurt the feelings of co-workers but I still do not like attention and don't do well with complements ) Well today after a nice comment from a patient my co-worker turned to her and said " She had the lap band surgery, it's not like she "worked" at it"
OMG I was dumb founded!!! I was shocked!! I was hurt!! I didn't even know what to say. I have never kept the lap band a secret so that didn't bother me, but the fact that I have ALWAYS taken the feelings of others into consideration and I got that??
Dang it! I just wanted to poke her in the eye! It really makes me mad when people think WLS is the "easy way out" How rude! Well I know me and I know I won't say anything to her because really what would be the point? It just made me so flipping mad I wanna wear something clingy that shows cleavage tomorrow! ( laughing ) ok I know me and I won't do that either. I'm just venting....because who would understand better then the people on this board what a low blow that was. Sigh.......

Tomasa · 07-02-2008, 10:31 PM

HOW RUDE!...you know that is just her being jealous, and ignorant. They really dont know how much work it really is to have the band. And you are right, what is the point of saying anything to her...but your best revenge is that you are 75lbs lighter.

Illiana · 07-02-2008, 10:34 PM

THAT MAKES ME SO IRRITATED!!!! It is ALOT of work! The WHOLE PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont let those NAYsayers rain on your parade girl!

livn4jesus · 07-02-2008, 10:37 PM

People never cease to amaze me. You just have to chalk it up to ignorance. She's uniformed and doesn't know she's uninformed. I can't wait to be 75 lbs lighter. Wow, what an accomplisment. Glad you vented here and trust us enough to share. Thank you,

Susan

Irish Ladybug · 07-02-2008, 10:37 PM

I totally agree! She's just jealous and really has no idea what she is talking about. You have working hard at this! They always say the band is tool... you are workin' that tool and you should be proud!

aveamora · 07-02-2008, 10:44 PM

Gratz on the 75. That story made me flippin mad. You should bring it up and ask her if she has any feelings about your lifestyle change that she needs to talk about. Arg, don't ever tell me where you work, I would fly over and set her straight.

heartfire · 07-02-2008, 10:52 PM

Oh WOW! That is something else!

I would have looked at her and said, "If you knew anything about it, you would know that isn't true." then I would have walked away or continued on with whatever I was doing.

The other thing I don't like about it is that even if you aren't necessarily keeping it a secret, she had ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to say a word about your personal life! That crosses some work boundaries that should never be crossed.

If she continues to be hostile, you are going to have to deal with it.

nanaislosingit · 07-03-2008, 12:01 AM

Yes it will continue because my meeting that I had to attend at the doctor's office we were told your big friends are going to be jealous and hurt your feelings before anyone else.

My reply would have bee "If you don't feel we have to work at it why don't you come on and get banded with me and we can do it together". Then send her to a seminar first. She will see how much work there is with this tool. Hang in there girl Another thing I have a problem with is people that are not even doing any of it comparing me to people who have had gastic bypass. I tell them I'm not even banded yet but there still will not be any comparison because my is expected to take longer so I don't gain it back. LOL

Katja · 07-03-2008, 12:28 AM

First of all, congratulations on your wonderful progress! You have worked hard and are now reaping the benefits of a healthy life. Getting all those compliments can be difficult to accept at first, but with each one, you'll start to see the "new" you. Many of us have trouble adjusting to our new images. We see the "old fatty" long after there has been a dramatic weight loss.

As to your co-worker... there are probably many reasons she isn't being supportive. Jealously and ignorance topping the list. I have experienced many people, who are also overweight, as being very insecure about their ability to lose. It's like a cover-up - making light of the work it does take to be a successful bandster loser - because they have enormous doubts if they could be that dedicated to making it work for themselves.

In the end, it boils down to what you think. What you do. How you feel about you.

I wish you much happiness on your journey to a new you. For every naysayer, there are 3 people who will support you and admire your commitment to achieve your goal. Please don't forget that!

Katja

snowbird · 07-03-2008, 01:13 AM

I have a heavy neighbor who asked me how I lost so much weight. When I told her I was banded, she said "Oh . . ." with this little sneer of disgust. It was like I told her I had caught a sexually transmitted disease that made me lose weight. It was almost funny.

I had another fat friend say she didn't want to get the band because she wanted to lose weight slowly so her skin didn't sag. I kind of lost it and told her that at her age (60) there wasn't any weight loss solution that was going to stop her skin from sagging. Considering this was from a woman I have known for 32 years and who was always heavier than I was, I thought it was pretty ridiculous to suppose she was ever going to lose weight successfully without something to assist her, as she had never done it in the past 30 plus years.

We just have to realize that what the uninformed think about what we have done pales in comparison to the benefits we have due to our weight loss. As someone else said, if this isn't work, why aren't all of these critical people rushing out to do it?

NavywifeJenn · 07-03-2008, 02:01 AM

geez i dunno how you didnt say anything!! huge congrats on the loss! i bet you look great!!! she's just mad thats all. don't let it get to you. like one mentioned for every one naysayer there are 3 supporters! but seriously i'd have told her off! lol! keep up the awesome work!!

tifferoni326 · 07-03-2008, 03:04 AM

poke her in the eye..haha..no unscrew the screws in her chair so she falls out of it..ok Im sorry dont do that.

Meanwhile if she got off her lazy butt and did some research on the band she would know that it takes hard work and dedication

yeah its just jealousy but it still is rude

babygrl1234 · 07-03-2008, 03:45 AM

I think many people are misinformed and think that WLS is a free ride. Consider the fact that a majority of WLS are bypasses. Lapbands really did not become popular until the last 2 years. What kind of work do you have to do for a bypass? I have seen many a bypass patient sit on their butt and do nothing and drop 100+ pounds in 6 months. Of course people are going to compare the two and assume they are the same thing because they are both WLS. It is a lack of education thing.

Recently DH gave me a huge apology because when I had my surgery done he thought, like most others do, that my band was an easy way out. Only after seeing the hard work and struggles that come along with it did he finally realize I am the one doing the work.

Bottom line, don't let her lack of education and probable jealousy make you angry.

josie74 · 07-03-2008, 08:01 AM

I agree with all the positive responses everyone is giving you. I am dealing with a similar thing. Whenever I talk to my best friend about the struggle with willpower I'm having (don't have restriction yet) she says, oh but you'll lose for sure, you have the Lap Band.. as though it's a magic wand and I don't have to still resist all the sweets that were my downfall. She's not very overweight but struggles with 25 extra pounds and I think she feels like her struggle is more valid than mine. Luckily she's not mean like that woman was to you!!

Something to think about... someone who gets surgery to clear their blocked arteries never gets accused of "taking the easy way out". It's seen as a necessary surgery. No one says, "oh your arteries are 80% blocked? You're gonna need to struggle with diet and exercise to get that fixed" I equate a lifelong struggle with dieting with no lasting success as the same kind of thing.
(For everyone who's really struggling with willpower and feeling weak, I highly recommend the book "Good Calories, Bad Calories" by Gary Taubes.)

auntlucy · 07-03-2008, 08:10 AM

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that. I do think you should sit down and have a conversation with her so you can both get your feelings about it out on the table. You would need to appraoch it in a loving way with a desire to make it better.

I have noticed a few comments on this thread about how much easier the GB is than the band and how people with GB gain back the weight. I would just caution us all not to pass judgment on the people who choose GB. We all have to make choices and for some, that is a better option.