Help!!! I have failed!!!

Hello my name is Jorge and I live in Queen Creek, Arizona. I am 32 years old and I weigh 499 lbs, thats if I havent gained all my weight back. I got my lap band surgery on May 12 2008 and I went down from 537 lbs to 499 the week before my surgery. Even after my surgery I was doing good with my preop and postop liquid and soft food diet stages, until about the 3rd or 4th week when I was able to eat regular foods now I am out of control. My food addiction has kicked in. I was supposed to go for my 1st fill on June 25 and I keep postponing because I am so embarrased to go and I feel like I have truly gained some of the weight back. Has this happened to anyone else??? I have alot of weight to loose...my doctor said that my ideal to loose would be 250-275 lbs...so I have a long way to go...and with this setback I am so embarrased to go to my doctors office and get weighed. I have even tried to do crash diets but they don't work!!! I am a carbs addict and I just feel like a total failure!!!...The whole reason for getting this surgery was to loose the weight and feel good physically and emotionally...right now I just feel crappy and emotionally like a total failure...Am I the only one that this happened to??? Is there anyone that has had this happen to as well??? Should I feel like this???

First off DO NOT FEEL DISCOURAGED! I went in for my first appt today and my doc was amazed that I lost. He said that almost all patients gain some or lose very little at their check-up appt. This is not an easy process but you took the very first biggest step already! Please go see your doc and get your fill! You will be so happy that you did! I am sure that someone else will provide you with better inspiration, cuz I'm not all that great at it but I can totally be your cheerleader! Your a Zonie and we gotta stick together! So go on in and then check back with us and let us know ya did! We are here to support you!!

Please don't feel like a failure. You aren't. There is nothing in your body right now that is any different than what you had before the lap band was put in. Until you have a fill and start to feel some restriction you are operating on straight will power and unfortunately will power is something that we are all lacking in or we wouldn't have had to get the band in the first place.
That said, you took a great step toward your future and your health by getting the band in the first place. Now is time to go to the doctor, get your first fill and start making it work for you!! The time for embarrassment is gone. Hold your head up with pride and say
"I.m taking charge of my life. how can YOU help me". If you don't feel restriction after the first fill, call and make an appointment for another and another one yet if that doesn't work. It has taken me 7 fills to hit my sweet spot.
Once you get your fill, start thinking about exercise. I know it's hard but I just read that even THINKING about exercise in a postive way and visualizing you self doing it benefits your body and over all health.
I am a big believer in all kinds of visualization and I recommend it when everything seems out of reach.

Yeah, you have a little further to go than some of us but we'll be there for you all the way. The hard part is done, (the surgery and the decision to get it) from now on take advantage of what is out there to help you.
Walk proudly into that doctors office and say "my surgery is heal, Now lets get started on my recovery." I'll be with you in my thoughts.

Now take this hug and call the doctor. We don't use the f word around here!

Congrats on your decision to be banded. Once you really get started losing the weight you will love your band and will begin to love yourself more!

You shouldn't let being embarrassed prevent you from going to the doc. It just shows you need more help. Nothing wrong with that.

Get your fill. It may take a few fills for you to get enough restriction to help you keep to the diet. Don't ever give up. It is a learning process and you can do it!

Visit the chat room and listen to us exchange ideas and help. Read the forums. There is plenty of help and encouragement here!

Good luck to you in your journey to a healthier you!

I hope to hear from you soon saying this little bump in the road was just that.

Katja

Never be afraid to go to your doctor, he/she is there to help you through this. I too went on a food binge shortly after my surgery on April 14, 2008. However, I talked to my doctor and he moved my first fill up by a week to help me out.

I have since had a second fill and I am doing well on my eating, however I seem to have plateaued with my weight loss. I have been stuck between 292 and 293 for weeks now; so I was getting discouraged. However, I again spoke with my doctor, and it is typical for the actual weight loss to plateau in the 6-12 week period out of surgery; but what he told me to look for was body changes. Sure enough, I am able to fit into clothing that have not fit into in years.

This is all a process, and it is a slow process. Our weight did not come on overnight, and neither will it leave overnight. We all have to be strong, and when we have our failures, get right back up and start again. In time, we will learn how to manage our eating and be healthy individuals. Time is everyone's enemy, but this forum is one thing that can help you through. Also, see if your weight loss center has a support group that you can go to; I work in the hospital where I had mine done, and have a lot of support, so I am lucky.

Don't worry Jorge, you will get there! Keep your chin up and stay strong, YOU CAN DO IT!!!

You have absolutely no reason to be embarassed. My surgeon told me that I probably would gain back a few pounds between the liquid post-op stage and my first few fills, he said most of his patients do. I had some restriction for a couple weeks after the diet but I have lost that restriction a few days ago and with two weeks to go before my first fill, I will probably gain back a few pounds myself. You ARE NOT a failure you have done fantastic so far and the only way you will succeed is to go in and get your fill.

feeling hungry 2 weeks or so after surgery is absolutely normal! the swelling in your stomach has gone down and now you're left with no restriction since most doctors don't fill a band during surgery.

you're in Bandster Hell right now... this is the hardest part of this entire journey.... you're banded but not restricted.

go in for your first fill. chances are you might not feel restriction even then. sometimes it takes a few fills before you feel any restriction so you need to stay in contact with your doctor. find out how often you can go in for fills. my doctor does them every 2 weeks i think.

don't get discouraged yet!!

You haven't failed. Get to the doctor for your fill. It may take a while to get to the right fill level, but this is what will help you control your appetite.

Until you get there, try to make the best food choices that you can. Before I started my journey, I ate way too many carbs (mostly sweets and that type of junk.) I really have changed the way/what I eat. Sometimes when I want something, I go to the fridge and just stand there trying to figure out "what is the best choice I can make given what I've already had to eat that day." Sometimes I just close the fridge without getting anything, sometimes I pick the best choice and occasionally I make a bad choice. It happens to most of us. Strive to make the best choice most of the time and it will soon become a habit. Most of all, don't beat yourself up if you do make a bad choice. Just get back on track with your next meal. If you eat protein first, it really will help you stay on track.

Also have plenty of no calorie drink choices (of course don't drink them with your meals.) If you like sweets, something that helps me is a water called AquaCal. It comes in many different flavors. It's good and it's sweet, but most of all it has no calories or carbonation and has some added calcium. One 16 oz. bottle usually cures my sweet tooth.

Good luck.

Jorge, don't think of yourself as a failure! You are definitely not one! Go get your first fill, as that should start to give you some of the restriction that you need. Keep in mind that you may not have perfect restriction for a while, so start today to get back on track. While the band is a tool, it's up to you to make the changes necessary to make the tool work. Are you tracking your food intake? that really helps me. I use www.thedailyplate.com, and I find I do much better when I take the time to track it...makes me more conscious of what goes in my mouth. Also, really think about your food choices. On days when I seem hungrier, I let myself eat a little extra, but I choose to eat lean protein. I know it's hard to make these changes (we are all in this together). Hang in there and go get your fill! Be proud of yourself for taking the step to get the band...that is big accomplishment in and of itself!

Hi Jorge, I just wanted to stop in and offer my support. I haven't been banded yet, so I can't say I know what you're going through but, I don't think you're a failure. We all have addictions to food, or we wouldn't be here!!

Stay strong buddy!

It isn't uncommon to gain weight before your first fill. Don't beat yourself up. Your doctor will not get angry. Hes there to help you. Remember that you are still down and lower than before. Get the fills started. Everytime I had a weight gain or stayed the same, my doctor told me that in my situration, who wouldn't have gained and gave me a fill. My doctor is not judgemental. If you have a weight gain or maintain your weight, thats the signal to get another fill. If it was so easy to lose weight and keep it off, there wouldn't be a need for Lap-Bands, gastric bypass, diet pills, WW, Jenny Craigs, etc.

Hang in there, we are all rooting for you. We have all been in that same place as well, after liquids with no restriction. It will pass quickly enough.

Jorge, hang in there!!!! You made the decision to take charge of your weight and your health by getting the surgery! You are to be commended for that and there is NO WAY you are a failure!!! NOT A CHANCE!!!

Your doctor is there to help you. Don't feel embarassed, go see them for your fill! I remember by about 10 days post op I was STARVING! Even now after 3 fills (3.5 ccs on a 4-5cc Band) I still get hungry occasionally. The difference is that instead of eating a ton of food, I give my body what it needs to satisfy the hunger. Sometimes this is veggies and protein, sometimes it's something sweet. You'll get there too.

Hang in there, you are already on the road to a healthier you. Congrats to you for getting Banded and try to focus on moving forward. We all have "good" days and "bad" days but no matter what we can't change what has happened in the past. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try to go easy on yourself.

Sending good thoughts from Beantown,

Bean

You are not the first bander it has happened too., and you won't be the last. Go to your doctor get your fills and stick to your program. Like any weight loss program you are going to have successes and failures. You have made the first step by getting the band. Don't be embarrassed, I have let enough things slip away from me because I was embarrased about my weight, but no more. Every time I eat too much and gain some weight I come to this sight and know I am not alone. Talk to us, we all know what you are going through.

You are perfectly normal!

Go get that fill and check out www.thedailyplate.com . As someone else said, there will be plateaus and times after restriction when you will be able to eat more - don't beat yourself up about it - just go get another fill. As you lose, your stomach will shrink leaving your band looser so you will need fills as you go. You will know you need a fill when you are eating too much. Don't view this as a failure - view it as a sign that it is time for another fill. It is OK.

Good luck!