Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgendered Bandsters

MsDad · 05-08-2007, 06:30 PM

I've been spending a lot of time in Rants & Raves since I joined LBT, partly because it's fun, but also because for the most part it's very GLBT friendly. Unless I haven't looked in the right place, I don't think there's a support thread for us, so I decided to start one!

A little about me. I'm Eddie & I'm a 42-year-old Gay man. I have a partner of just over nine years (henceforth referred to as DH), a 17-year-old son and 16-year-old daughter. DH and I are stupid. Don't believe me, just ask our kids. DH has hypothyroidism and had not been able to lose any weight after his thyroid "went nuts" several years ago. I've just been overweight all my life. He was banded on 2/21/07 and I'm getting mine next Wednesday (5/16). I can't wait!

Anyway, I would love to hear from all the GLBT folks out there. Hopefully this can be a place for us to freely discuss our unique issues and get support we may not be able to get elsewhere.

Afrykanvyolet · 05-08-2007, 08:49 PM

Hello Eddie,

Thanks for the new thread. My name is Yenken and I have been with my partner for five years now. We are in long distance relationship right now as I live in Jersey and she is in NC. I'm originally from NJ but moved to NC five years ago. I moved back to NJ to go to nursing school. One more year then I'm off to NC.

The long distance thing is hard but we make it work. We take alternate months to see eachother but I miss her dearly. I'm going to NC on the 15th so I can't wait.

She's the 'athletic type' (butch) with no weight issues...although she has gained some weight she's still fine. I, on the otherhand, have been overweight my whole life. No sob stories to tell but overweight nonetheless.

Initially, I had opted for the bypass and she was soooooo against it. She did support my decision but she was not happy. I think she was kind of scared about it. Anyway, when I found out about the band, I did more research and opted for that. Its funny, but she had NO problems with that whatsoever. She was with me on the day of surgery and stayed for 2 weeks to take care of me (she was going to do that regardless - its just funny how her opinion changed). I think she was doing some research on the band without telling me! Lol!

Congrats to DH on his banding. How is he doing? Good luck and congrats to you on your date? I wish the both of you nothing but the best weight loss ever!!!!!!!

Afrykanvyolet · 05-08-2007, 08:51 PM

Oh yeah,

Have you read the thread about being overweight because one is a lesbian??? Wow. It's always something.

MsDad · 05-08-2007, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afrykanvyolet

Oh yeah,

Have you read the thread about being overweight because one is a lesbian??? Wow. It's always something.

Is that why you all drive pickup trucks and wear plaid flannel shirts? BTW, could you help me with some construction work around the house? I'll make you a pretty flower arrangement and do your hair and makeup... :heh:

MsDad · 05-09-2007, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WASaBubble Butt

Dude... dude... Duuuuude!

Help a hetero out with hair and makeup, please! ;)

Hold on there Bubble, I'm not that Gay... HAHAHAHA!!

Afrykanvyolet · 05-09-2007, 06:12 AM

LOL!!!!

No pick up trucks, no flannel, NO construction work here. I'm totally lipstick. We would get along!!!!!

I'll take the flower arrangements though! SHE can do the contruction without the ugly flannel. What's up with that anyway? Black butches do not wear flannel!!!! :)

Afrykanvyolet · 05-09-2007, 06:21 AM

On a serious note MsDad......

How are your children? Are they biologically yours or adopted? In a few years, Mrlady and I want to have kids. She would like me to start when I move to NC but I told her that I wanted to enjoy my post op body for a little while.

I have looked into various sperm banks. While I know that a lot of testing is done on the doner and his sperm, it still makes me slightly uneasy. I have no problems with adopting - something that I've always wanted to do since working in foster care for the state. SHE, however, would like me to have a child. I told her to why doesn't she have one - being sarcastic because of the whole butch mentality thing. She looked at me as if I head two heads or something and then firmly replied, "OH hell naw!"

MsDad · 05-09-2007, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afrykanvyolet

LOL!!!!

No pick up trucks, no flannel, NO construction work here. I'm totally lipstick. We would get along!!!!!

I'll take the flower arrangements though! SHE can do the contruction without the ugly flannel. What's up with that anyway? Black butches do not wear flannel!!!! :)

Oh sorry. I just assumed that since all Lesbians are fat, you all drive pickups and wear flannel. <damn, never can find that evil grin smilie when you need it>

As for the flowers, you'll have to get them from someone that's gayer than I am cause I didn't get that gene...or the hair & makeup gene, or the interior decorating gene or the drag gene. I'm just a very average guy. Well, maybe I do have a penchant for the dramatic...:drama: LOL!

ragdollx19 · 05-09-2007, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsDad

Anyway, I would love to hear from all the GLBT folks out there. Hopefully this can be a place for us to freely discuss our unique issues and get support we may not be able to get elsewhere.

I am not gay or lesbian, but good luck on your surgery anyway!

MsDad · 05-09-2007, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ragdollx19

I am not gay or lesbian, but good luck on your surgery anyway!

Thanks Ragdoll! Supportive Str8 folks will always be welcome here IMO.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afrykanvyolet

On a serious note MsDad......

How are your children? Are they biologically yours or adopted? In a few years, Mrlady and I want to have kids. She would like me to start when I move to NC but I told her that I wanted to enjoy my post op body for a little while.

I have looked into various sperm banks. While I know that a lot of testing is done on the doner and his sperm, it still makes me slightly uneasy. I have no problems with adopting - something that I've always wanted to do since working in foster care for the state. SHE, however, would like me to have a child. I told her to why doesn't she have one - being sarcastic because of the whole butch mentality thing. She looked at me as if I head two heads or something and then firmly replied, "OH hell naw!"

I have a somewht lenghty post somewherre that details a good bit of my story. But in a nutshell, they're my biological kids from a previous hetero marriage. Biggest mistake I ever made in my life, but if I hadn't done it I wouldn't have my kids, so it was worth it. DH has been more of a parent to them than EW ever was. As for your situation, I would play it by ear. I understand both sides (yours & hers) so I can be more objective. Some people have a "thing" for wanting a biological child, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the ironic part of that is that your biological baby wouldn't be biologically hers. I don't know if either NJ or NC allow 2nd parent adoptions, FL does not. If either of your home states do, whether you give birth or adopt, you could both be legal parents. But I don't blame you for wanting to enjoy your new body for a while. I know I'm going to!

maziemommy · 05-09-2007, 11:02 AM

I too am one of the supportive str8 people- (except that one weekend)....

But I want to welcome this thread with open arms, hearts and minds. I do hope that all people welcome all other people, regardless of any personal choices. Best of luck in your band journey.

MsDad · 05-09-2007, 07:37 PM

Wow, it just hit me today - I'm only a week away from getting banded! Yeah, I've known my date since last week, but it just sorta became totally real to me today. I do have to admit though, as excited as I am, I'm actually getting nervous. Not enough to chicken out, it's just that despite the fact that I had a couple of weeks of not knowing if I would be approved, everything suddenly seems to have happened very quickly. Now in a matter of months my life is going to be completely different. It's kinda scary. I've been fat all my life - as difficult as that has been, I'm now facing a different set of insecurities. No more fat to hide behind, so to speak. Anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

maziemommy · 05-09-2007, 09:22 PM

Do as I say, not as I do!!!

Are you doing a pre-op diet?? Very good if you have a large or fatty liver... and most of us do! Don't expect to, not, be hungry before your first fill... after the swelling goes down... I am/was starving!!! First fill set for me is on 5-17-07.

Your DH has had this experience right??

As far as "hiding behind the fat" I still do, and have NO great advice as to copping with that as weight drop off!!! Best wishes and luck to you on your journey (physically and mentally).-- Do not sabotage yourself because of insecurities, and being thinner.

MsDad · 05-09-2007, 10:26 PM

Yes, low carb, low fat for 2 weeks. I do fine during the day, but I have a hard time late at night - I want to eat everything in sight. Of course, that's always been a big problem anyway. I'm just trying to eat better foods right now. I haven't eaten anything really bad, just not quite as LC/LF as I should. I am trying to do a lot of clear liquids throughout the day (sipping on a big cup of red tea rignt now) and I'll probably try and drop back to liquids only for a few days pre-op. I'm also doing a week-long herbal detox/cleanse (ends Sunday) and went today for a lymphatic draining massage, followed by an ion detox. So while my diet isn't 100% perfect, I am doing other things to shrink my liver.

DH was fine for the first several weeks. Not very hungry and was consistently losing weight. Now he's had 2 fills and probably still needs another one. He's still losing, just much more slowly now and he can eat more.

ragdollx19 · 05-10-2007, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maziemommy

I too am one of the supportive str8 people- (except that one weekend)....

HA HA HA!!! That rocks!