excited, nervous and scared.....

Lioness81970 · 11-23-2003, 01:33 AM

I have all these feelings running through my mind right now. I am going to be banded on Tuesday and I am so excited, nervous and SCARED. I have never had any type of surgery before and as the time is winding down to my date all kinds of what if's are going through my mind. Tonight my husband and I got into an argument and I called him an insensative jerk. One of the women that is in a local support group was followed from her surgery date until 1 yr post op (she had the gastric bypass done) by one of our local news stations. They were showing the promo on tv and I told my husband I wanted to watch and support her cause she did a great job. Anyways, we were talking about that and he says to me " my friend's wife says she has heard of a lot of complications with the band and doesn't think that you should do it." My first reaction was - since you know I have done a lot of research about the band before making this decision - she wasn't talking about the band and if she was she may have it confused with the bypass. THEN it HIT me.........my husband was having a conversation about MY surgery with HIS friend and his friend's wife. I was MAD!!! I told him that I told the people that I wanted to know and anyone else didn't NEED to know - especially some people that I don't know. He had the nerve to ask me, why don't you want them to know? Do you feel self -concious about your decision? I told him no, that's not why I was mad. I was mad that he chose to take it upon himself to discuss MY personal business with HIS friends and then have the balls to tell me about it. Not only that, but to tell me that this woman says this surgery isn't safe and I could have all kinds of complications from it. Now as I stated before, I am already nervous and scared about it and then for him to tell me that made things worse. I know the band is a much safer surgery and the complications are very minimal. My surgeon is very compitent and I truly believe my faith and God will see me through. But it's still scary and he didn't help matters by saying that. I know this is a long post but I just needed to vent to people that I know will understand seeing as mu husband doesn't seem to. I really am excited about the surgery.........3 days and counting!!!! I know once everything is all done and over with I will feel silly to have worried but until then all I can say is I'm only human. Thanks for listening!!!

jadrad7 · 11-23-2003, 05:09 AM

Don't be so hard on your hubby, maybe HE is looking for some support. He wants to be reassured that you will be okay. Mine did the same thing, and i was not happy about it. My sisters hubby told her inlaws that she too will be having WLS. It must be a mans' way of dealing with the unknown.

Misty · 11-23-2003, 11:07 AM

Sounds like he's worried about you, and finding it hard to be supportive. Which of course you need right now. I haven't ever had surgery either, which why this has been hard for me to decide to do. I know I would not appreciate negative thoughts being shared right beforehand. Release those thoughts. See yourself recovering, see yourself losing weight. Focus instead on the positive. It's good to be aware of the worst, but now it's time to focus your attention on the positive side of things.

Good luck. I'm sure things will go just fine. :)

alicia · 11-23-2003, 02:06 PM

Carmen, ditto on what the others said. Your husband is reaching out to others to get their thoughts on it. Some weren't so positive so I guess that's where you have to step in (maybe with reinforcement from a friend/family memeber your husband respects) and discuss the pros and cons. Maybe ask your doctor to talk to him. He is scared and once you come out of surgery okay he will know you made the right decision.